TRW

The royal wedding....i feel obligated to talk about it.  I am surprisingly excited about it.  I watched this special on i don't know, slice or TLC or something like that about the William and Kate relationship and it got me all excited.  In fact me and Andrea are having a royal wedding sleep over tonight, she is pvring it and i will sleep over and we will fast forward through all the boring parts. 

I am really excited about E! Fashion Police - Royal Wedding Edition.....i just love that show.  I also love dissecting what everyone wore.  I mean so far, on my own i have already voted for worst hat/facinator.  It was Princess Beatrice that won, if you were curious.....she is wearing a giant bow on her head.  Google it!

I also did my nails in honour of the wedding.....i painted a union jack on my middle fingernail.  It turned out quite nice.  I am very proud of how realistic it looks.  It makes me want to paint other flags on my nails....maybe from now on my middle finger nail will be my flag finger.  I am willing to take requests.

And tomorrow....is my nephew's birthday party.  Now he was born on earth day but we are celebrating tomorrow.  After the tough year we have had....i am very excited to celebrate his fourth birthday.  That kid....god do i love him.  Last week, his pants were too big and they kept falling down.  He is a clown and always goes for the laugh....i think that may be my favourite thing about him....that and the fact that no matter how mad he is...he is always polite.

Update

I was experiencing serious wardrobe malfunctions today, i was wearing a button up shirt and the buttons kept bursting across the bust and i kept flashing people my boobs/bra.....so i had to make an emergency run to winners for a new shirt.

Everything is much better now!

Where is the Line?

So is there a line of awkwardness? And how far across that line can you go? and at what point should you just confront the awkwardness?

Okay, here's the story, where i work, we share the floor with another department, we both report to the same SVP, but our departments rarely mingle.  So when i started, i was not introduced to any people from the other department.

So, i have been here like a year and a half and i feel like at this point it is kind of awkward to just be like...hey I'm Erin.  Anyways, a guy from the other department must live in my area because i have seen him occasionally at my subway station.  We have never talked....he seems super friendly but we both seem to not know how to get past this awkward notion of never being introduced.  So today, i saw him walking towards the subway as i also walked to the subway, we sort of smiled but never actually talked or said hi.  Skip ahead to us riding in the elevator together to our floor, the only two people in the elevator....neither of us talking. 

The awkwardness was unbearable but i just didn't know how to break it.  So new goal....i am just going to be like 'hi, I'm Erin i work near you and apparently live near you....let's be friends'

Bitch Face and Rude People

As i was waiting for the subway to go home yesterday, i noticed this girl walking down the subway platform.  She had the best bitch face i had ever seen, she gave off the impression that everyone was beneath her, she had a lot of make up on plus she was very petite.....and she was in ugg boots....it is very tough to look superior wearing ugg boots....but this girl pulled it off.  I was impressed with her dedication to the bitch face.

Then me and heather went to subway and right before we went in these hockey dad's and their kids all piled in and then instead of being polite and either hurrying their orders up so it wouldn't be a long wait they took their sweet ass time.  Then there was one big table and Heather decided to take the big table to spite the rude coaches and then she felt guilty that the kids (they were like 15) couldn't sit together so she offered them the big table and as soon as she moved her stuff the dad's took the table.....they didn't even stop their conversation.  How rude.  They were just that self-involved, head up their own ass type of male that makes me grumpy. 
I mean, i am as self involved as the next person but at least i try really hard to be considerate of others in social situations.  These guys were just for lack of a better word, jackass'.

In breaking news, shopping trip in the works.  I am really re-examining my summer wardrobe.  I may want a jean romper.  But a very specific jean romper that looks cool and casual and relaxed.  It will be a very tough find....it may be like my ever elusive hobo purse.  I have a dream hobo purse and i have never been able to find it anywhere.  It is like I imagined it...and if my sewing machine could sew leather i would make it myself...unfortunately most domestics don't have the leather sewing ability.

First Hair Cut

I am about to make a hair appointment for my first hair cut post laser eyes.  I am really excited....laser eyes change the whole hair cut experience because now you can pick your hair cut without worrying about how it will look with your glasses. 
I really trust my hair dresser, she has a pretty good idea of what i like and what's my style, i gave her cart blanche last time and she gave me my natural hair colour...which is just crazy enough to be something new for me.  She was the one that also encouraged me to go bleach blonde that first time.  I must really like her if i go all the way to Pickering to get my hair cut by her.  Not that it is a long way, considering my family lives like right there but it is a little awkward to get to because I have to take the go bus.

Now in other news, i had a dream that i worked in a grocery store but also had a dolphin show that was held in the grocery store.  Crazy right.  But what can i say...i am multi-talented!

It's glee night...and it is a 90 minute episode!  Exciting! We're at Amy's tonight!

Music choices

So, do you choose the music that you enjoy and think people will be impressed by your savy music choices..

OR

do you choose the song you secretly love and sing and dance to all the time when you are alone but know people will mock you for your love?

I want to buy some new music for my ipod and i have a couple of things i want, and Saturday night while baking a pecan pie for Easter dinner, i decided it was time to get some new music...but i got stuck and couldn't decide.  Adele's CD, I know two of her songs and people can't stop talking about how amazing she is.  Or the Foo's never disappoint. 

But, i kept coming back to this one song........Price tag by Jesse J.  I really enjoy that song...her message, "we don't need your money....we just want to make the world dance" really speaks to my life motto.  And i wasn't too embarrassed until someone called her the Ke$ha of England.  That made me pause and think about things.

In the end, i ended up not buying any music.  See this wouldn't be a problem, if they didn't shut down my free downloading site.  And now, i am not computer savy enough to find a new site that actually works. 

Earth Day

What did you do to celebrate your work's Earth Day?  Well, i spend all morning photocopying.  That's right, in honour of Earth day, i had to photocopy a bunch of proposals and then because we want to be green, i scanned them too.  That's right, so not only will everyone get a hard copy of all the documents but they will also have soft copies as well, in an effort to be green. 

Sounds crazy.....I know.  But it is how things work in a corporate world. 

Ninja Assassin

I had a dream last night....i was a ninja assassin.  I snuck into this mansion and had fake credentials to show i was a maid, snuck upstairs to deliver towels....then...i slashed the throat of the bad guy while he slept in his bed...then kicked the screen out of the window climbed up onto the roof and ran across the roof and jumped off.  I woke up as i was falling.  And because it felt unfinished...i made up an ending to the dream...i may have jumped off the roof but i had one of those outfits that lets you glide on the wind...i glided to the next roof then to the ground to a motorcycle and drove off.

First Day Back

So, I had myself a little mini vacation from work...well two days off and one of them i was getting laser eye surgery, so it wasn't exactly a relaxing vacation...but it is really nice to know that i only have three days of work this week.  It will help me make it through......BUT next week is going to suck major balls.

So now that my exam is done, and my eye surgery is done.  I have a few new projects to work on:
1) research the issues of the election and make an informed choice.....and actually vote.  Steph says that if i don't vote she will hire these guys to follow me around all election day:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CSRhsGl7UIo&sns=em

2)Craft-storming with Heather to create some jewelry to sell at our market stall.

Do you know that this is the first time in a long time, i am actually feeling positive and happy.  I guess my dad was right, do something good for yourself and everything else will fall into place.  Who knew an expensive eye surgery would be the answer to making myself happy.  I am tired of worrying about what will happen when my contract ends this time....i have two weeks left and it could be extended or not extended but either way....i am going to be fine, everything will work out because it will.
And if they decide not to extend my contract, then it is their loss.  Because I am AWESOME!

New Roads

So, things are going really well, or i guess i should say it was a good weekend.  20/20 vision, an exam that i am sure i passed, plus a night out that turned into something exciting.

Let's start with my exam.....I had to write two essays and they gave us 4 topic choices.  One of the topics was something i really studied, Marx's vs Weber.....the other choice...now i feel guilty about choosing this topic but it was the exact same question from the 3rd assignment...and it was the topic that i wrote my 3rd assignment on.  So i felt a little guilty picking it both times.  I felt like i should choose a different topic for my second essay in the exam to show that i know my stuff but my eyes were sore and i was tired. 

After my exam, i went home, had a nap and then me, Amy and Steph decided we were going to go out and celebrate my successful weekend.  It was going to be a fun girls night out.....but when heather said she was already headed out with others...i told her where we would be and they decided to join us...making a nice impromptu outing.  Although my laser eyes tired early and i had to go home.

I tire easily right now...and i push my eyes a little much still but i am loving this new vision.

As for my new roads....i want to head towards fashion and my dad is very certain that i should get my public administration masters.....but i just don't think that is for me.  He is trying his best to convince me.

Vision 2.0

I have made it through, i can see and (I'm sorry Alex try not to resent me) IT IS AWESOME.  I didn't feel any pain, my eyes are a little sore now but not in a pain way but in a they are dry and gritty way.  I have an intense drop regime.  But i can see!
I am totally going to be fine for my exam tomorrow, i have been studying and as long as i don't push my eyes i will be fine!!!!

Now for the best part of my surgery, the wonderful and exciting glasses they give me.  You know the ones, the sunglasses you have to wear outside so your eyes will be safe from the sun, with the side guards. I also have to wear them to sleep so i won't rub my eyes accidentally while sleeping.  Luckily, my hair covers all the embarrassing parts, so when i wear it outside i just look like i love the 80's and have not had eye surgery recently.

here are some lovely pictures:

Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the big day....i am excited.  I dressed up real fancy today as a classy good bye to glasses.  I am wearing Nine West peep toe black stiletto booties, a cream dress with black polka dots (it is a businessy dress) i put a skinny black belt high on my waist to break up the polka dots a bit.  I am wearing a large blue oversized ring as well as a bunch of silver bangles...i believe they are the bangles i wore to Alex's wedding.  Also...bare legs...no nylons or stockings for me!!! I actually shaved my legs...it was intense because (warning overshare ahead) i had not shaved my legs for a very long time...it was very long.

I also had a dream last night, that we all went to the gym as a family, everyone that got together two weekends ago - me Steph Alex Amy Ryan, to work out.  I was in a floor section where i had set up my mat and was doing yoga.  it was a little crowded but i had my space and i was enjoying my workout.  And then this girl with her trainer comes by and starts doing these exercises...like lunges and squats and knee to elbow moves.  And she is all up in my space.  I am like excuse me, i am doing yoga here can you watch yourself, you almost kicked me in the head and you are standing on my mat.  And so i moved slightly over to give them some room and they moved over again, all up in my space again.  So we had a huge screaming match...and then i left. 

Explain it to me

As i have said before and been constantly yell at by my family about, i have a history of not voting.  I am trying very hard to become more civicly responsible but really....politicians annoy me.  For example, i tried to watch the debate last night and it was all yell at Harper night, which he deserves but isn't a debate a time talk about what you would do to make our country better and not a time to point fingers and name call.  Do i have too much of an simplistic view? 
One of the main things that turns me off politics and politicians is the negative campaigning.  Like all those stupid conservative ads that are all don't vote Liberal because they suck.  Here's the thing...i look at negative ads as weak sauce....like you don't think your campaign is strong enough on the issues that you have to spend your money making the other candidates look bad.  Really?!? if you are that afraid you are going to lose the election, make you should work harder to develop a better platform.  Because i feel like if that is how you run a campaign, i bet you are going to suck at running the country.  And it has proven to be true.  Also how about trusting Canadians to be smart enough to make the decision based on informed choices instead of fear mongering. 
Okay....sorry guys, rant over.  I just frustrated with the whole system.....It is one of the reasons i don't usually vote because, what's the point.

Officially Crazy

So...as you know, i am prone to drama and craziness...but i think i have reached a new level.  So i was so certain i could handle both my exam and my eye surgery within 24 hours of each other.  And now i have read both the exam review and the Pre-surgery documentation....and i think i am in over my head.  I should probably move one of the items.  But here's the other thing.  I am stupid stubborn and i had already made the decision that i can do both...I can't back out now.  Besides, this seems to make a better story and add more drama to my life which i sometimes seem thrive on.  I bet i will do ten times better on this exam now because of this drama. 
Although....i should probably crack down on my studying.  I am officially revoking all social outings and interactions until Saturday at 12. 

Which unfortunately Amy means we will have to post-pone glee night.  Can we do it Saturday? 

Also, i will be going with heather soon to get a tattoo.  Not me getting a tattoo, i am just the moral support.  Although, i may impulse a very small tattoo...maybe a few stars, maybe on my wrist...i will try my very best to not get another tattoo.

The Count Down Begins

So...this Friday people....it is the day of days, my good bye to glasses and contacts.  I may get lasers in the eye balls but then i will be able to see!  I am feeling a range of emotions - excited, nervous, worried, and guilty - let's never forget my horrible conscious that is currently making me feel horrible for being so frivolous with my money.  Which seems so silly to me, i constantly buy clothes...like all the time, i completely live above my allowed clothing budget and not one ounce of guilt.  In fact, i saw this sweater i liked and it went on sale on Friday and i almost bought it with the justification, i need a surgery outfit because when you are getting your eyes lasered, you should look your best.  Really....that seems a little bit of a stretch as an excuse for new clothes.  But funny thing is, i am still considering it. 
But when it comes to spending like over 5 months rent on a procedure that is not essential, i get nervous.  I want to be glasses free so bad.  Imagine it, sunglasses whenever i want, and if i ever felt like wearing headbands again, no competeting for space behind my ears.  And no more glasses nose imprint.  And i can fall asleep watching tv without recking my glasses.  I will be able to watch 3d movies without having to wear contacts.  I mean...i have been dreaming about being glasses/contact free for awhile.  Everyone i know tells me i deserve it, so why don't i believe them.  Why do i feel like a horribly selfish person to spend that money on something instead of saving it for a rainy day?  Because that evil little voice in my head is being a bitch again. 
So, i am ignoring the voice and moving forward with the surgery.  Today i shall decide how i am going to pay.

So now to the weekend, Essay finished (suckily).  But i also was the queen of procrastination this weekend, was going to finish it Friday but instead i watched the shows i pvr'd and coloured in the blank spaces on my tattoo.  I crashed around 1:30 and woke up covered in pen smudges and surrounded by articles about the canadian constitution. 
Saturday i powered through my essay by watching Save the last dance 2, house wives of Atlanta, and party mama's.  Finished my essay around 10 and the watched some movies while i fell asleep on the couch..then woke up to that stupid Insidious movie preview, freaked myself out and couldn't get back to sleep until like 6am.
Sunday, i had brunch with Andrea, Wylie, and the kids.  Both Ally and Bradyon were very good.  Bradyon is really into temporary tattoos so me and brady compared tattoos and we discovered although mine was bigger his contained more spiderman, and more colour. 

It was a good weekend but i got a horrible headache that is still kicking around from all the excitment.

Eat Day!!!

So today is classic eat day.  Timmies, cheese bagel toasted with cream cheese and tomato with chocolate milk and an apple fritter in honour of Ryan.  For lunch we are going to enjoy some street meat!

Today is also official desk moving day.  This will be my fourth desk in a year and a half.  It is because i keep getting shifted around in the department.  But moving day means jeans at work which makes this the best eat day ever!  And hopefully this move will be my last in the department and maybe i will find my permanent home here.

For my essay...i have the first paragraph written.......300 words down, 700 to go.  And as soon as it is done...i shall start studying for my exam...no delay since the exam is worth 50%.

Essay

So....i have an essay due Saturday at midnight and i just want to let you all know....it is not going well, i can't seem to dredge up any enthusiasm to write it.  But dudes...this essay and the final next week is all i have left of this course.  I can do this.  I will research some more today and write it tomorrow.  I am going to write about the rule of law and the Canadian constitution.....exciting stuff, I know.  You can barely contain your excitement and jealousy but don't worry maybe one day you too can take a course that is all essay writing.  Stupid essays....if only it was a course of where you could write short one page opinion pieces.  One page seems to be my style and i am full of opinions.

GoodBye Friend

I hate to start the day out on a sad note but I have some very sad news, Radar, my favourite puppy in the whole world was lost to us yesterday.  His illness was very bad and there was nothing to do to save him. 
Me and heather had tea last night and just sat and remembered and cried. 


We also craft-stormed to take our mind off things and to plan for our market stall.  We are going to have fun making them.  I think we will start crafting in May.  I would start in April but i can't be for the next couple weeks do to school responsibilities. 

I have also checked out some fashion programs at both Ryerson and George Brown and although i am already at Ryerson, their fashion program looks to be too narrowly focused.  Plus George Brown is more hands on and the programs are not as long.  Which means i can get started much sooner.  I am going to review the programs more closely and maybe talk to someone from the school and learn about what they offer.  I don't want to become a fashion designer....as much as i love clothes and making clothes, i think i would prefer, stylist or buyer. 
My dad told me, find what you want to do and move towards it with focus and excitement.  No holding back.  I have been holding myself back from everything....too afraid to make a decision.  Not any more.  Why wait, why be miserable, why be stuck when you don't have to be.  Everything is going to be fine, i just need to make a few decisions and move forward.  It sounds easy but for some reason, i find it the hardest concept in the world. 
Despite being very sad about Radar, I am happy today with the direction my life will be going.

April

I usually love April a lot as a month because it is rainy and i really enjoy the rain.  I think i am one of the few people in the world that thinks there is nothing better then a rainy day.  I don't mind being out in the rain or staying in and watching the rain.  Basically I heart Rain.

But this April is also a big deal for me because it is incredibly busy.  I have an essay due this Saturday, and an exam next Saturday.  As well as Laser eye surgery, i have to do another blood test.  It is Brady's birthday, and Easter.  I am also going to find a new job in April.  Because i want to get settled and start re-living my life instead of constantly complaining and sounding like a broken record about my current job.  April is the month of change and i am embracing it completely.

Also i think in September i may have decided what direction i want to go in school.  Fashion.  Let's face it, we all know i love it, we all know it is like my favourite thing ever....it is time i stop hiding from it and start working towards some sort of career in a field i actually like.  George brown has some good programs, so does ryerson.  I am going to do some research and pick a school to start in September.

Also, i think it is time to seriously work on the donut adventure!

Running and Radar

I have been typing and re-typing this post. Nothing is really coming out right today. I wanted to tell you all about my weekend but I didn't want it to be a boring re-telling of what I did. Weekends like the one I had remind me that I am very lucky in the life I have and I spend way too much time worrying about the future. Sometimes I feel very selfish and self absorbed in my tunnel vision of my life.
So....I ran my 8km and didn't die, I ran it with my cousin Alex who is like the friendliest happy person ever. It was a good run, not because it was speedy or anything...it was because Alex's super cheerful positive attitude can't help but rub off on a person. I hate running, I don't find it fun at all and usually when I do it, I want to just put my head down and ignore everyone around me and just run...but I would run with Alex again.
Poor Ryan had a headache most of the evening which is never a good thing to have when hanging out with our family....the family without the indoor voice. We are a loud family! Although he should be use to the volume by now.
I am going to get my b12 vitamins today. So maybe I will be less tired tomorrow. Although I am pretty sure it doesn't work instantly.
I want to finish this post with a note about Heather's dog Radar. I am positive I have talked about him before but there is something sad and serious happening right now. Unfortunately he is very sick and we aren't sure what is going to happen. Please send all you love and positive thoughts and energy to Radar and Heather and Bob.