So....i was looking in the mirror last night and noticed something horrible....so i tend to furrow my brow a lot, especially when i am thinking or stressed out...and last night i looked in the mirror....it's been awhile since i have seen my forehead will all the bangs i have been rocking...but now that they are growing out into a sweep bang...the forehead is front and centre.....when i am not furrowing my brow i have this like half circle on my forehead. I think it is there permanently.....i have furrowed my brow into my first weird face wrinkle....i am getting old. I haven't even had a stressful romance or kids to cause this wrinkle....this wrinkle is all my doing.
I don't want to look old....i haven't had my great romance yet, or fully taken advantage of my youthful demeanor. There is so much i still want to do. I mean...i can still do it and everything but now i have to do it with a giant half circle on my forehead.
Okay........problem solving time.......i am going to have to get bangs again....just hide that circle.
In other news about me.....i made a fake camera last night out of a shoe box and some toilet paper rolls. It is looking pretty awesome but ghetto. I will take a pic tonight when i am finished so i can show you all my mad arts and craft skills.
Thursday, May 31, 2012
Monday, May 28, 2012
Slightly Grumpy
So....i am right in the middle of organizing this event for our internal fundraising campaign....and you know when you are right in the middle of planning and things aren't exactly going as you would like it....you get frustrated. Well i have hit that spot right now. The event is a week away and i am getting a little stressed out which equals slightly grumpy me.
But there is a light....Andy Samberg made a speech at Harvard and it was posted on twitter. I am listening to it right now. DUDE...i have the most crazy crush on him. He always brightens my day. He is such a dork but hilarious. And anyone who can make me laugh and smile will always have a special place in my heart.
In other news, my training for my half marathon is going great....i fell on Saturday and scraped my knee...but steph says it is just a minor abrasion. So no one worry..i will be fine. I ran on Saturday and then did a 5km walk on Sunday, although i wouldn't call the walk an actual workout. I am starting to get very determined about the run....it has become kind of a big goal for me...not the actual run but that i am challenging myself in such a way...i would have never agreed to this in a million years but i believe that this is the right thing for me to do. I need a challenge, i need to know i can do something i never thought possible. Plus i think it will help me to feel better about myself as a person. I am not quiting this challenge and i know when i finish it i am going to be so proud of myself.
I know a lot of runners and they have always seemed crazy to me, i mean running is great for some people, i have never enjoyed it but i was always impressed by those who enjoyed it. I always swore i would never join the running cult and then i got talked into running, and then i swore i would never pay to run, and i got talked into racing. This.....this is different. I chose to run this half....i chose to challenge myself. Because what's a challenge, doing something you never thought possible. Well that is what i want to do. I want to do something that i never in a million years would think i could do. I want to do it.
If this goes well, i may pick a new challenge. I don't know what but maybe something even crazier...like going on a bike trip or something.
I know Amy mentioned she wants to learn more about rowing. I want to join her on this rowing thing. I have always loved the water...rowing sounds like it would be hard work but fun.
If any of you have a challenge you want to do but want moral support...let me know...i am always up for joining your challenge or providing support and encouragement.
But there is a light....Andy Samberg made a speech at Harvard and it was posted on twitter. I am listening to it right now. DUDE...i have the most crazy crush on him. He always brightens my day. He is such a dork but hilarious. And anyone who can make me laugh and smile will always have a special place in my heart.
In other news, my training for my half marathon is going great....i fell on Saturday and scraped my knee...but steph says it is just a minor abrasion. So no one worry..i will be fine. I ran on Saturday and then did a 5km walk on Sunday, although i wouldn't call the walk an actual workout. I am starting to get very determined about the run....it has become kind of a big goal for me...not the actual run but that i am challenging myself in such a way...i would have never agreed to this in a million years but i believe that this is the right thing for me to do. I need a challenge, i need to know i can do something i never thought possible. Plus i think it will help me to feel better about myself as a person. I am not quiting this challenge and i know when i finish it i am going to be so proud of myself.
I know a lot of runners and they have always seemed crazy to me, i mean running is great for some people, i have never enjoyed it but i was always impressed by those who enjoyed it. I always swore i would never join the running cult and then i got talked into running, and then i swore i would never pay to run, and i got talked into racing. This.....this is different. I chose to run this half....i chose to challenge myself. Because what's a challenge, doing something you never thought possible. Well that is what i want to do. I want to do something that i never in a million years would think i could do. I want to do it.
If this goes well, i may pick a new challenge. I don't know what but maybe something even crazier...like going on a bike trip or something.
I know Amy mentioned she wants to learn more about rowing. I want to join her on this rowing thing. I have always loved the water...rowing sounds like it would be hard work but fun.
If any of you have a challenge you want to do but want moral support...let me know...i am always up for joining your challenge or providing support and encouragement.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Stuff i want
Here are some things i think that would just make my wardrobe perfect:
(swim suit....not costume)
Finally i would like to find a romper but all the ones i see are way too up the butt for me. So the search continues...maybe one day i will find one.
(swim suit....not costume)Finally i would like to find a romper but all the ones i see are way too up the butt for me. So the search continues...maybe one day i will find one.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
Happy Birthday Nana
Weekend BBQ at Alex's. It was super nice, i loved the gorgeous weather. You know those moments you wish you could pause....Saturday was one of those moments. The weather was beautiful, i was surrounded by the people i love and i got to roll around and play in the grass.
I probably should have been more helpful with food and set up and clean up but i am a bad person and it didn't even cross my mind. I was too busy being a kid. Sorry Alex.
I started my new job yesterday. New desk, new location, new people....it is all very new and exciting but at the same time...beginnings always make me nervous. They make me nervous because there so many unknown things, and you know me....i hate not knowing...not having a plan.
I am feeling slightly introspective because i am at a new beginning....thinking about life and the decisions i made and how they lead me to where i am and i wouldn't change what has happened because i am finally happy where i am. But i realized that i am still spending a large amount of time, living in my head. Maybe even seeing things in certain situations that aren't actually there. It is time to let go...it is time to stop trying to plan out life and figure out how things should work or will work....instead of just letting things happen. It is time to stop imagining the way things could go and just let them be.
I started officially training for my half marathon last night. I ran on the treadmill to get an idea of my pace and speed. I ran 5 km at a slower pace...not pushing myself but just getting use to a steady pace of running. I really need to build up my endurance again. So the focus of this week's training is to build up my body and get it use to steady running again. I am very tough on myself and i am not happy with my 10km time. I mean it felt like a great run but the time seemed slow to me and mom can't stop talking about how it is her slowest time ever....i feel like i held her back. I won't be holding anyone back in the half....i will be running at least 3 times a week and then i will have a boot camp day and a yoga day plus i want to fit in one bike ride a week with Amy. It is a strict plan, but i need it...i need to develop the discipline again. I need to approach it like i approach planning an outfit.
One last thing....no one will really understand this part but i need to write it down.....i am letting go and releasing it to the universe...i will letting the universe decide what the future holds.
I probably should have been more helpful with food and set up and clean up but i am a bad person and it didn't even cross my mind. I was too busy being a kid. Sorry Alex.
I started my new job yesterday. New desk, new location, new people....it is all very new and exciting but at the same time...beginnings always make me nervous. They make me nervous because there so many unknown things, and you know me....i hate not knowing...not having a plan.
I am feeling slightly introspective because i am at a new beginning....thinking about life and the decisions i made and how they lead me to where i am and i wouldn't change what has happened because i am finally happy where i am. But i realized that i am still spending a large amount of time, living in my head. Maybe even seeing things in certain situations that aren't actually there. It is time to let go...it is time to stop trying to plan out life and figure out how things should work or will work....instead of just letting things happen. It is time to stop imagining the way things could go and just let them be.
I started officially training for my half marathon last night. I ran on the treadmill to get an idea of my pace and speed. I ran 5 km at a slower pace...not pushing myself but just getting use to a steady pace of running. I really need to build up my endurance again. So the focus of this week's training is to build up my body and get it use to steady running again. I am very tough on myself and i am not happy with my 10km time. I mean it felt like a great run but the time seemed slow to me and mom can't stop talking about how it is her slowest time ever....i feel like i held her back. I won't be holding anyone back in the half....i will be running at least 3 times a week and then i will have a boot camp day and a yoga day plus i want to fit in one bike ride a week with Amy. It is a strict plan, but i need it...i need to develop the discipline again. I need to approach it like i approach planning an outfit.
One last thing....no one will really understand this part but i need to write it down.....i am letting go and releasing it to the universe...i will letting the universe decide what the future holds.
Friday, May 18, 2012
Are you ready
FOR WORLD DOMINATION?????
okay....it is more like running domination. I finished setting up my team in training page, and i started collecting donations. I am already at 8% of my goal.....woot!
Make donations here please and thank you: http://tinyurl.com/erinisrunning
In other news....i ate chicken wings last night at Duff's. They were seriously out of control good. I never ate chicken wings before i started working here....never liked them. But then my co-worker was like the key to good chicken wings is asking for them well done and dry so they come out all crispy and delicious. It changes everything.
So today is my last day on my contract...i come in on Tuesday morning and i am officially permanent staff and i get a new desk and a new team....I will miss my old team but i am so so so excited to become a permanent member of a company i really enjoy.
Our internal campaign is coming up and i am very involved, which i am told is a newbie thing but everyone keeps saying i will probably be running the whole campaign next year because i am horrible at saying no and i want everyone to be happy and have a great time.
This weekend i will be attending a very special birthday party at Alex's. But i am still working out what i shall wear, i asked Alex the dress code and she said backyard BBQ casual. But i am kind of feeling maybe a dress. I haven't decided yet, nothing has really stood out to me as 'the outfit' yet. But i am actually going to the mall after work to pick up a few important items for a birthday girl...so while there, i may just do a quick circuit looking out for something that stands out. I am pretty excited about the weekend. I am not sure exactly where i will be staying but i get to go home on Sunday with Andrea and crew....sitting between my two favourite monkeys...maybe we can have a dance party..or depending on how tired i am, a nap party?
Anyways....see all you family members tomorrow....in the K-Town!
okay....it is more like running domination. I finished setting up my team in training page, and i started collecting donations. I am already at 8% of my goal.....woot!
Make donations here please and thank you: http://tinyurl.com/erinisrunning
In other news....i ate chicken wings last night at Duff's. They were seriously out of control good. I never ate chicken wings before i started working here....never liked them. But then my co-worker was like the key to good chicken wings is asking for them well done and dry so they come out all crispy and delicious. It changes everything.
So today is my last day on my contract...i come in on Tuesday morning and i am officially permanent staff and i get a new desk and a new team....I will miss my old team but i am so so so excited to become a permanent member of a company i really enjoy.
Our internal campaign is coming up and i am very involved, which i am told is a newbie thing but everyone keeps saying i will probably be running the whole campaign next year because i am horrible at saying no and i want everyone to be happy and have a great time.
This weekend i will be attending a very special birthday party at Alex's. But i am still working out what i shall wear, i asked Alex the dress code and she said backyard BBQ casual. But i am kind of feeling maybe a dress. I haven't decided yet, nothing has really stood out to me as 'the outfit' yet. But i am actually going to the mall after work to pick up a few important items for a birthday girl...so while there, i may just do a quick circuit looking out for something that stands out. I am pretty excited about the weekend. I am not sure exactly where i will be staying but i get to go home on Sunday with Andrea and crew....sitting between my two favourite monkeys...maybe we can have a dance party..or depending on how tired i am, a nap party?
Anyways....see all you family members tomorrow....in the K-Town!
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
It's on like Donkey Kong
So i was treating this 10km as my personal kick off to my training for my half marathon. I have to admit, i haven't been training very hard for this 10km. I have been having a lot of foot and ankle pain. But i learned something this weekend, i can run through the pain. So lately in my running, my right foot goes numb at like the 6km mark, then i don't push myself but let myself give up. But you can't do that in a race. and true to form, my foot went numb at like the 5km mark....but you know what...me and mom kept running and by the like 7km mark, the numbness had moved on. YAY! It was not a personal best by far, and i know with training and dedication i can run a 10km under an hour but i am just glad that i completed it. My first 10km race ever. And now it is time to look forward....with the end goal of the Scotiabank Waterfront Marathon. Next race will be the Mid-Summer's Night race.
I also went for a big bike ride this weekend with Amy, it was a wonderful way to spend a morning. We met early, biked to the waterfront and rode along the waterfront paths. Then we got sandwiches and a delicious treat for lunch.
Now i am sure i have mentioned it before but damn cars and biking on the road is scary. I love my bike it is so pretty and fun but dude, it is not very maneuverable. I want to bike ride more....i really do, but i have to get over my fear of roads and cars, i handled it well in some parts but not so great in other parts. Then comes in the whole road vs sidewalk debate. I wish i could just ride around the city in my stylish bike and fashionable bike riding outfit without having to enter into some sort of bike politics.
I also went for a big bike ride this weekend with Amy, it was a wonderful way to spend a morning. We met early, biked to the waterfront and rode along the waterfront paths. Then we got sandwiches and a delicious treat for lunch.
Now i am sure i have mentioned it before but damn cars and biking on the road is scary. I love my bike it is so pretty and fun but dude, it is not very maneuverable. I want to bike ride more....i really do, but i have to get over my fear of roads and cars, i handled it well in some parts but not so great in other parts. Then comes in the whole road vs sidewalk debate. I wish i could just ride around the city in my stylish bike and fashionable bike riding outfit without having to enter into some sort of bike politics.
Friday, May 11, 2012
Two Truths and a Lie
So we had a small team social yesterday afternoon to work on building our team moral which went great. I personally think our moral is awesome anyways but any excuse to have fun is great. So of course i was one of the hosts and i provided my award winning 'Erin' drink.....which went over wonderfully.
Anyways we played the game two truths and a lie to get to know everyone better and i suck at this game. I was the only one in the entire team that stumped no one. They all knew which one was my lie. And they all told me it was because i talk to everyone and share all my life stories.
So now i am thinking....should i develop a little more mystery?
But in truth...i am a horrible liar and i am a perpetual over sharer.....those are natural facts of my life.
So lesson that i learned....just never play two truths and a lie because i will never be able to stump anyone.
Anyways we played the game two truths and a lie to get to know everyone better and i suck at this game. I was the only one in the entire team that stumped no one. They all knew which one was my lie. And they all told me it was because i talk to everyone and share all my life stories.
So now i am thinking....should i develop a little more mystery?
But in truth...i am a horrible liar and i am a perpetual over sharer.....those are natural facts of my life.
So lesson that i learned....just never play two truths and a lie because i will never be able to stump anyone.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Yellow Pumps for Alex
I have checked the regular shoe stores - town shoes, shoe company, and payless and nothing jumped out at me as appropriate. so i am thinking you are going to have to order the shoes online. Here are my top three shoes. They are affordable and very yellow. Betsy Johnston obviously appeals to me the most but you sounded like you had a very specific shoe in mind. So i say you are going to have to do some internet research unless you want to send me a pick of the particular outfit..then i will do some shopping for you.
http://www.shopstyle.com/action/loadRetailerProductPage?id=320481224
http://www.shopstyle.com/action/loadRetailerProductPage?id=201141495
http://www.polyvore.com/yellow_snake_print_peep_toe/thing?id=53879554
I love each of these shoes for very different reasons.
http://www.shopstyle.com/action/loadRetailerProductPage?id=320481224 http://www.shopstyle.com/action/loadRetailerProductPage?id=201141495 http://www.polyvore.com/yellow_snake_print_peep_toe/thing?id=53879554I love each of these shoes for very different reasons.
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Weekend Excitment
I have been trying to write this post for like 3 days but things keep getting in my way, not in a bad way...i just seem to be very busy. Reading a book. The second book in the Divergent series, Insurgent, i loved it by the way. I stayed up very late last night to finish it. I had to leave it at home the past two days so i wouldn't hide in the bathroom reading it.
Then yesterday i went to pick up all the race kits for sporting life.
Anyways....here is why my Saturday was AWESOME!
i stayed at my parents Friday night and it was so much fun, i did Alex's nails and we had an Alex fashion show. I brought a bunch of dresses for her to try on. She went with one of my absolute favourite dresses. It is so pretty with a really 50's feel to it. Actually i bought it when i was exercising like crazy. it was a little...okay a lot small on the boobs and i bought it anyways because i believed that my boobs would get smaller and more manageable. But that never happened...so i only wore it the once. But it looks awesomely amazing on Alex, so i gave her the dress. It was always meant to be her dress and i was just holding it for her. Sometimes i wished i lived in Kingston so i could hang out with family more but alas....i am a Toronto girl.
Anyways...Saturday morning we got up and enjoyed (not really enjoyed....well i did enjoy the sprint to the finish) a run. Then we got all fancied up, i wore that blue dress with red polka dots, the one i posted awhile ago with my leather motorcycle jacket and florescent green hoop earrings. Everyone looked so pretty...and after all we were headed to the THEATRE (said in a snooty British accent).
When we got to the theatre, i was so excited. Then Bring It On, The Musical started, one cheerleader singing in a spot light. And i was like.....yes, this is great. I loved the music and the cheerleading and the gymnastics, there were two outfits that i really think i should work into my regular wardrobe....both involving shiny sequins. Most people agreed that the second half was a million times better than the first. but for me...i loved the whole play. But it is really hard for me to not like a musical. Especially one as upbeat and cheerful as this one was.
After the play, we went shopping. I bought some great stuff, a white shirt with small orange stars on it, a shirt with a giant heart, a shirt with tiny bicycles and a big bow, a business sweater, and blue jeans...you know a nice indigo blue. It was a very successful shopping trip. and then Andrea pointed something out that i didn't realize. I like clothes with tiny patterns....and that makes sense...3 of the last 4 shirts i purchased had tiny patterns...cats, stars, and bicycles.
Finally it was dinner time. I was so ready. and the restaurant was awesome Carisma, all the food was very good, we ate so much delicious food!
All in all, it was a great day. I haven't had a day that wonderful in a long while.
I hope you all had great weekends too.
Then yesterday i went to pick up all the race kits for sporting life.
Anyways....here is why my Saturday was AWESOME!
i stayed at my parents Friday night and it was so much fun, i did Alex's nails and we had an Alex fashion show. I brought a bunch of dresses for her to try on. She went with one of my absolute favourite dresses. It is so pretty with a really 50's feel to it. Actually i bought it when i was exercising like crazy. it was a little...okay a lot small on the boobs and i bought it anyways because i believed that my boobs would get smaller and more manageable. But that never happened...so i only wore it the once. But it looks awesomely amazing on Alex, so i gave her the dress. It was always meant to be her dress and i was just holding it for her. Sometimes i wished i lived in Kingston so i could hang out with family more but alas....i am a Toronto girl.
Anyways...Saturday morning we got up and enjoyed (not really enjoyed....well i did enjoy the sprint to the finish) a run. Then we got all fancied up, i wore that blue dress with red polka dots, the one i posted awhile ago with my leather motorcycle jacket and florescent green hoop earrings. Everyone looked so pretty...and after all we were headed to the THEATRE (said in a snooty British accent).
When we got to the theatre, i was so excited. Then Bring It On, The Musical started, one cheerleader singing in a spot light. And i was like.....yes, this is great. I loved the music and the cheerleading and the gymnastics, there were two outfits that i really think i should work into my regular wardrobe....both involving shiny sequins. Most people agreed that the second half was a million times better than the first. but for me...i loved the whole play. But it is really hard for me to not like a musical. Especially one as upbeat and cheerful as this one was.
After the play, we went shopping. I bought some great stuff, a white shirt with small orange stars on it, a shirt with a giant heart, a shirt with tiny bicycles and a big bow, a business sweater, and blue jeans...you know a nice indigo blue. It was a very successful shopping trip. and then Andrea pointed something out that i didn't realize. I like clothes with tiny patterns....and that makes sense...3 of the last 4 shirts i purchased had tiny patterns...cats, stars, and bicycles.
Finally it was dinner time. I was so ready. and the restaurant was awesome Carisma, all the food was very good, we ate so much delicious food!
All in all, it was a great day. I haven't had a day that wonderful in a long while.
I hope you all had great weekends too.
Friday, May 4, 2012
And the Band plays on
it is Friday....and Alex and Cathy are coming up today for fun and adventures. And tomorrow it's Bring it on, the musical!
I have my outfit all picked out....well i am still working out the shoe thing but the rest is ready to go.
While obsessing about my clothes, my co-worker was like, dude the sporting life is next weekend. WHAT!?!?!?! next weekend, i am so SO not ready.
I had a whole training plan and then i got distracted repeatedly...and now it's a week away. So i know you are suppose to take it easy before a race but now.....i shall ramp it up. i mean, i have my running outfit all picked out but will i actually be able to run the full 10 km?
DUDE it is time to get ready. Montage music.......now please imagine me training to music in a movie montage....i look tired first and not to steady on my feet. then as the music crescendos....i am running and punching the air and looking super strong. Then jump in the air freeze. Montage ends.
Happy Weekend!
I have my outfit all picked out....well i am still working out the shoe thing but the rest is ready to go.
While obsessing about my clothes, my co-worker was like, dude the sporting life is next weekend. WHAT!?!?!?! next weekend, i am so SO not ready.
I had a whole training plan and then i got distracted repeatedly...and now it's a week away. So i know you are suppose to take it easy before a race but now.....i shall ramp it up. i mean, i have my running outfit all picked out but will i actually be able to run the full 10 km?
DUDE it is time to get ready. Montage music.......now please imagine me training to music in a movie montage....i look tired first and not to steady on my feet. then as the music crescendos....i am running and punching the air and looking super strong. Then jump in the air freeze. Montage ends.
Happy Weekend!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Well the world is ending!
I rejoined facebook. I had to re-set up my old account...but i got a little delete happy when i was removing a bunch of 'friends'.....you know the people that never talk to you again. and i was on such a roll...i accidentally deleted a few too many people...then had to send new friend requests. and when i use to have facebook, you could send friend requests with a cute little message but now...it is just automatic. So i attempted to re-request a few people and then expecting to write a cute little message...but it just sent the automatic message off. Oh well.
So i got my new yoga mat yesterday, it is awesome. It does have a small rubber smell but it is a non-slip mat so i can't wait...it activates for sweat and it has a great padding. I am all ready to take the yoga world by storm.
Tonight my plan is to go through my fancy dresses and pick out a few for Alex to wear. i am very excited for our sleepover.
So i got my new yoga mat yesterday, it is awesome. It does have a small rubber smell but it is a non-slip mat so i can't wait...it activates for sweat and it has a great padding. I am all ready to take the yoga world by storm.
Tonight my plan is to go through my fancy dresses and pick out a few for Alex to wear. i am very excited for our sleepover.
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
On the Move
My job announcement comes out today. Soon everyone will know that i am permanent! Woot.
In other news. I have thinking a lot about it and everyone at work wants me to re-join facebook. It has been a long time since i have been on facebook. I am of two minds in this facebook debate.
1. I would like to be facebook friends with my friends at work because i feel like it would help me bond better with everyone and know what is going on better. Plus i feel like i would get invited out more again. Since people tend to forget about me due to the lack of facebook. I was much more popular when i had facebook. My social life was hopping a lot more.
2. I feel like i have been gone so long, it would be admitting defeat by going back. I don't want to go back if i don't have to...and the friends that stopped inviting me out, are they really friends if they forget about me as soon as i leave facebook?
I know that everyone but Ryan will encourage me to go back. But if i do go back, should i start from scratch or try to find and fix up my old profile?
These are my worries since i let go of my work stress. So now that i have work sorted....what should i focus on next? Dad is really on my case about finding a man, i think he wants to see me settled. I go back and forth on the man issue. I would love to have someone to go to movies with and hang out with and cuddle with and all that but i don't want the awkward first meetings and the having someone keep track of me, and the drama that comes with a relationship. And really, am i ready to let some guy in and risk the chance of being hurt again. I think i like the idea of being in a relationship for the companionship but at the same time, i am still not confident enough, i still don't believe that someone would love me or choose me. And that is something i need to work on. I have come so far in the past few years, i am so much more confident and happy but i still have that little voice. You know the one, whispering in my ear, telling me i am not good enough, or not pretty enough, or that i am just not enough. And i can ignore it under a lot of circumstances but when it comes to finding a man...i just can't help but listen to that voice. Anyways....that was a random tangent.
Let's go to happier news. I am going to see Mike in rent!!! WOOT. Go Mike!
In other news. I have thinking a lot about it and everyone at work wants me to re-join facebook. It has been a long time since i have been on facebook. I am of two minds in this facebook debate.
1. I would like to be facebook friends with my friends at work because i feel like it would help me bond better with everyone and know what is going on better. Plus i feel like i would get invited out more again. Since people tend to forget about me due to the lack of facebook. I was much more popular when i had facebook. My social life was hopping a lot more.
2. I feel like i have been gone so long, it would be admitting defeat by going back. I don't want to go back if i don't have to...and the friends that stopped inviting me out, are they really friends if they forget about me as soon as i leave facebook?
I know that everyone but Ryan will encourage me to go back. But if i do go back, should i start from scratch or try to find and fix up my old profile?
These are my worries since i let go of my work stress. So now that i have work sorted....what should i focus on next? Dad is really on my case about finding a man, i think he wants to see me settled. I go back and forth on the man issue. I would love to have someone to go to movies with and hang out with and cuddle with and all that but i don't want the awkward first meetings and the having someone keep track of me, and the drama that comes with a relationship. And really, am i ready to let some guy in and risk the chance of being hurt again. I think i like the idea of being in a relationship for the companionship but at the same time, i am still not confident enough, i still don't believe that someone would love me or choose me. And that is something i need to work on. I have come so far in the past few years, i am so much more confident and happy but i still have that little voice. You know the one, whispering in my ear, telling me i am not good enough, or not pretty enough, or that i am just not enough. And i can ignore it under a lot of circumstances but when it comes to finding a man...i just can't help but listen to that voice. Anyways....that was a random tangent.
Let's go to happier news. I am going to see Mike in rent!!! WOOT. Go Mike!
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