Finally Friday

I always feel like my fridays are really earned.  It's because of boot camp thursday night.  The hardest workout of the week!  Last night we had 40 minutes to do the following:
80 step ups with water jug
50 push ups
50 bent over rows
50 clean and presses
50 twists with 20 pound medicine ball
25 chin ups
50 dead lifts

I did not complete everything.....only two people in the class did.  I tried....but dead lifts and chin ups were impossible.  The dead lift was with two 35 pound weights which is much heavier than i am use to.

But thursday at 8pm i am always feeling a bit better because i dragged my ass to class and completed it.  even if i felt like i was dying.

So, tomorrow is Ottawa and my i am taking the 6:40am train there.  I plan to sleep the whole time.  I did my laundry last night so i have nice clean clothes to pack and i understand it will be hot so i am not packing very heavy clothes.  I am going to see how light i can pack.  because i bought this great new beach bag at gap for $14 and i want to use it.  Also my weekend travel bag is a bright pink...and i mean like neon pink free bag from victoria secret and as much as i love neon...i feel like it is just a little bit too in your face.  So i will attempt to find other means of packing but if that means i have like 3 bags...we get into a whole different problem....which is i will start to look like a bag lady.

Oh well....i will be picking up my via tickets today and heading off for patriotic adventures in the nations capital.

Canada Day

So, i am going to Ottawa for Canada Day.....me and ryan are going to have fun adventures.  But here's the thing.  I have never been very patriotic.  Not because i don't love Canada because i do....canada rocks my socks.  But you know me...i love to be different....so if everyone is cheering for canada..i want to not cheer.  But i am positive this year is going to be different because there is going to be so much enthusiasim around the city centre that i will get swept up in the emotion.  Also...i love fireworks....they are the best.  almost as awesome as the IMAX laser show.  And the fireworks at the parliment should be super amazing.  So i can't wait!
But what does one wear to a patriotic event.  I have never really been to one.  Do i wear red and white, do i get a shirt with a canada flag...or is that too much like wearing a band's t-shirt to their concert? I tried to do some fashion research yesterday and all i found was a brand new blog that i am obsessed with but i could never wear any of the clothes she talks about because she has a petit frame...you know one of those frames all clothes look good on.  Anyways...the real reason i am obsessed with her blog...first of all, she has tons of awesome DIY's.  Second, she bought this sweater and a guy told her it was ugly and he wasn't attracted to her while she wore it....so she wore it every day and now calls it her guy repelling sweater.  LOVE IT. 

I am also trying to decide what to pack for the weekend.  I think it is going to be sunny but i only have two pairs of shorts and to be honest...i don't love either pair.  It is going to be a long summer if i don't have any shorts.  but to be honest...i think last year and what i seem to be doing of more this year is wearing dresses.  Somehow i have become a girlie girl and wear dresses all the time.  You may not remember this but in high school i wore mainly black, never smiled, and people thought i was a goth.  But some how and i grow up, i have become more and more girlie.  Now i even wear lipstick.  But i miss some stuff from my youth....Doc Martins, chuck taylors, military inspired clothing. 

Running Partners

Now don't get me wrong...i have always had great running partners but they have all always really been into the run and running.  My current running partner is Caroline, and let me tell you, we are of the same mind when it comes to running.  We actually make great running partners because we are both kind of crazy and have a large amount of enthusiasm for teen drama, family channel programing, and lots of other things that shouldn't be for grown ups.  Also we both have equal flair for the dramatics.  So we are currently planning a very dramatic ending to our marathon...i can't tell you the plan, but there will be music and photographers. 

So our group training sessions every Saturday morning is run by this awesome girl named Sue.  She is always so excited and happy and friendly with everyone.  I really like her!
This week, the halfers had to run 9km but the marathoners only had to run 8km.  So the path we have been running is the belt line, it is straight out and straight back.  We always see the faster runners coming back before we reach the turn around...which give us the perfect opportunity to cheer for them.  We are hoping to have lots more friends soon.  Although there are two girls that aren't friendly at all that we don't like.  And two other girls that we decided to call our new friends...(Alex you would be so proud of us)

OMG...also, have you guys seen the trailer for Pitch Perfect.  That is a movie i need to go see.  It looks so funny.

Anyways....you can probably tell by this post but my thoughts are all over the place this morning.  I am exhausted and not feeling well.  I am also still very very sore from Thursday's boot camp with the 9km run aggravating it.  So I am taking today off from exercise...actually i will probably go home and go to bed immediately after work.  All i want to do is sleep! 

Also...5 days until Ottawa!  I am ready to get swept up in the enthusiasm of the nation's birthday in the nations capital!  And hang out with Ryan!

In my head?

OMG...that post title just had me flash right to that cranberries song, Zombies.  Weird what some things trigger.
Okay...so what was my point besides awesome 90's songs that shaped my life. 

Oh Yeah, the seriously crazy thing called perception.  So i hate work out clothes because i find they are too tight and everyone can see my Buddha belly.  So i normally work out in free volunteer t-shirts, like my habitat for humanity or one of my million team scotia t-shirts.  But steph has been giving me a hard time about how those t-shirts are horrible because they don't breath.  And it has been like a zillion degrees out this week...so i decided to wear one of my new work out tank tops to boot camp last night.  My instructor couldn't stop talking about how skinny i look.  She said that when i wear tops that actually fit me i look at least 10 pounds lighter.  Isn't it strange that i feel skinnier and more comfortable in a looser top because it hides my Buddha belly but in fact when i wear a tighter top it actually shows my shape and everyone can see that i am not over weight. 
I am going to have to work on that...you know the i am not as fat as i think i am in my head and start wearing things that accentuate my shape and not hide it. 

4 days of breakfast

How long does it take to notice a difference?  It's not like i am expecting that eating breakfast will change my life and magically make me lose weight but....putting all this effort in and not seeing a difference will bother me. 
That is what happened the first time i started seriously losing weight.  I had been doing great and i got to this point and i plateaued.  stuck at the same spot for like months.  At that point i started feeling very defeated wondering what was the point of all that work if nothing ever changed. 
Anyways...i don't want that to happen with this new breakfast thing.  I really want to do better with my eating habits.  And starting with breakfast is a great place.  Once i have a regular routine down with breakfast, maybe i can move on to fixing up my lunches and dinners, and then finally no snacking at night which is like my favourite thing ever!

I think i have mastered this smoothie thing.  the first day i didn't have the right materials, the second day it was too big...but the third and the fourth....very successful.  Gerrard has been happy and productive.  I am even starting to get hungry around lunch time, which almost never happens....and yesterday, i was hungry for dinner too.

I also think my cardio is doing better, i ran yesterday at the gym and it felt good, i kept a steady pace and ran about 5 miles.  My ankles are sore, but they are always sore now.  Now all that positivity i feel about my exercise levels...it will disappear tonight at the place formerly known as Boot Camp....because no matter what we do, i always feel like i am going to die. 

Almost Strong

Yesterday i found a website that was selling JBrand jeans for like $89, and they were all the fun colours and i wanted them so SO bad.  I mean they are regularly over $200 and i find them on sale for $89...that is an awesome deal.  I really wanted them.  But i am trying to curb my spending...and not buy so many new clothes.  I managed to not buy the emerald green or the royal purple skinny JBrand but i couldn't say no to a black summer sun dress with tiny white birds on it.  It is the cutest dress very similar to the summer dress i purchased last year.  Alex, remember that flowery one you tried on with the ruffles.  It is basically the same dress but has white birds on it instead of flowers.  I got it at dynamite.  It was super cheap so i could justify it.
I am wearing it right now...i am at work looking super adorable and freshly summered up. 

Now here is the problem...i want to go to the gym today but i look all adorable in my little sundress...so the logical decision is go to the gym after work.  So when i go to the gym after work, i always go home in my work out clothes and not care if i am all sweaty.  But the gym clothes i brought today are a pair of my new shorts and this black top.  Now i feel like this black top is just way too tight. and as much as i love my new shorts...and for some unknown reason i feel weird about wearing them in public.  So then i change back into my dress to go home...BOOO...that seems unfun, all sweaty and gross and put my pretty dress back on.  Boo.  And if i am going to do that, i might as well go to the gym at lunch.  So that's the decision then....go to the gym at lunch.  I mean, i will have to change back into my clothes anyways...might as well do it at lunch.

Oh and the smoothie was more successful this morning...but that's because i made it smaller. 

Do you know what else i had yesterday......a slurpee.....first one of the year and you know the first one always tastes the best!  Why are slushies just so delicious.  I would plan my entire summer around getting slurpees!

Day two of the breakfast challenge

So today was more successful in making the smoothie.  I used all fresh ingredients.  Here's the recipe:
handful of spinach
handful of blueberries and raspberries
one banana
protein powder
hemp seeds
almond milk

So i blended quite well and made a great smoothie, well between the hemp seeds and the raspberry seeds it was a little crunchy.  But dude...after drinking it, i felt so full....like too full.  I am just not use to being this full this early in the morning.  I almost feel nauseous.   For serious, maybe i should have started with a smaller smoothie because right now it feels like my body may reject this smoothie. 

I guess because my body is so use to running on nothing but water until like 11, that much food right after waking up is causing my body to go into food shock.  My accountant Gerrard is like freaking out, there are so many calories to process he is probably pissed that he has to get up earlier to start his work.  But there is no choice...we have to master this breakfast thing.  If i want to lose any weight at all then i need to get serious about my eating habits.  I mean, i already have the whole exercise thing working but nothing changes....so food...it's me and you. 

Dude i really feel like i am going to throw up.  I hate eating this early.

FAIL!

So at our GTS on Saturday a nutritionist came and talked to us.....she told me stuff i already knew - you must eat breakfast.  But the way she phrased it....i really like.  She said that we have a tiny accountant in your body who monitors all incoming calories.  And if he doesn't make quota he will implement emergency procedures.  So if you don't eat breakfast, he will slow down your metabolism then if you don't eat lunch he will really be mad.  So basically the moral of the presentation was eat your veggies and breakfast. 

What i took away from this presentation...my accountants name is Gerrard and he is always mad at me because i never eat breakfast.  So i decided to once again try this whole stupid breakfast thing with a smoothie.  I bought a magic bullet and this morning i blended frozen berries with water...i wasn't really prepared for this smoothie thing because i just bought the bullet on Sunday and didn't buy any ingredients for smoothies.  And let me tell you, the smoothie was horrible.  I think the berries had been in my freezer too long because they had this horrible freezer burn taste plus i had to add water to get them to blend...and the result was this horrible tasting fruit mush. 

I know i have to eat breakfast to make Gerrard happy.  If i don't make Gerrard happy then my body will conserve calories instead of burning them off throughout the day.  But why do they make breakfast so horrible.  I mean, mornings already suck by having to wake up...now it will suck even more because i have to eat something.  Dude....i am starting to think i will never like breakfast.

Hills

A modern form of torcher?  Because seriously last night at the place formerly known as boot camp, we went to the park where we ran up and down the most steep hill and at one point we had to piggy back another person up that hill and back down.  It was very VERY hard and my legs are very mad at my this morning.  But i am starting to worry i may be becoming a crazy exercise person because after the work out i was like man that was a great work out...very different and challenging.  Although during the workout...i hated ever moment of it.  It has been happening to me a lot lately....hating the exercise while doing it...dragging my feet, complaining the entire time but then after it is over...i simply forget all the bad and replace it with pride that i finished another work out.  Although you would think i would start to lose weight and slim down but i am starting to think i will never slim down.  I really need to work on my positive body image because right now all i see are arms to fat, too much boob, and a chubby belly.  It seems strange to me..i have a big curvy butt but i am cool with that, i even like it.  I don't even mind that when i have to get a dress altered, they have to make the hem uneven because my butt lifts the dress higher in the back.

Man i am a whole bag of crazy issues. 

In other news, i am finally watching Breaking Bad and i have become completely obsessed.  Did i tell you this already? i have no idea...that is how much i talk about breaking bad....I must be driving people crazy because i am so late to the team.  Oh well, better late than never.

Life as of Today

I watched an older gentlemen run for the subway this morning, miss it and than have a little hissy fit.  So much stress for a train that comes like every 5 minutes.
I am working hard on not stressing about things anymore....i don't ever want to be that person that has a hissy fit because I missed a subway that comes all the time during rush hour.  Although, to be fair, i don't think i have ever been that person.  I have this weird thing where i like to pretend i am too cool for school when in public by myself.  I mean...when i am with friends, i am all kinds of dork but by myself, i must pretend to be cool.  Weird...i guess i am okay being judged in a group but not by myself.  That is something i need to work on. 
You are who you are...my big mantra....but in the face of judgement, i falter.  But you know where that comes from...my huge self confidence problem....which i blab on and on about all the time...and i have been working on it. 

We had a speaker come in for our Group Training Session on Saturday and he was talking all about runners and how they live longer and better and how runners always start what they finish.  Basically he was saying runners rock because they are focused and determined.  I guess it is a fair assessment.  But for me, i suck at focus....give me 5 tasks and i will start all of them and finish none of them.  Do you think this training will help me build my focus? Will it help me stick to a plan or schedule?  Who really knows but I will never stop trying.  I use to be very negative about this fact about myself.  But now i see myself as oddly determined...i will never stop trying!
I actually use to be incredibly negative in general but it was like i flipped a switch and now i know...everything works out for a reason.  Don't worry, i am not going to get all Annie on you and start singing 'the sun will come out tomorrow'.....it doesn't work that way.  I spent two years hating my job before i got to a company that i fit and i am happy at.  So your sun may not come out tomorrow...it may be a stupid long time before it does....but i can tell you...it will, eventually.  IT WILL!

And thus ends my rant about positivity.

In other news...i got free tickets to an advanced screening of Safety not Guaranteed and i am super...SUPER excited about going!

80's Rock Star

So we had our big wrap up party on Thursday.  We did great, it was a very successful fundraising campaign.  But for the wrap up party, we had to dress up in our formal wear.  It was all good fun, and i decided that i should rock the 80's rock star look.  I have been watching the top 80 songs of the 80's countdown on Much More Music, and i was feeling the 80's.  So i wore the sparkley gold dress that i wore to Alex's bachelorette party with the leather leggings i wore to our fancy Christmas party.  Then i straightened my hair, and pinned my bangs off to the side and fancied up my make up.  People kept saying they couldn't get over how much of a rockstar i looked.  All i can say is when you decide on a theme, you have to COMMIT!
Here is a pic:


People tell me all the time that i wear lots of clothes that no one else would ever think to put together or combine...and it isn't as hard as some people think.  You just need to commit and rock the confidence....if you aren't feeling confident that will show through.  The best way to start...is pick one item that you love and are very comfortable with....then plan the rest around it.  The details are also what makes the outfit.  So you can't see them, but the leather leggings really pushed the dress from fun and girly to rocker. 

I also should have crimped my hair probably but i gave my crimper to Ally, she loves it and uses it more than I do....plus i was not getting up early enough to crimp my hair.  If you haven't noticed...i have way too much....it is really getting long. 

What's The Rush

So seriously people, what's the rush.  A woman basically shoved me aside so she could get down the escalator faster to catch the packed train.  When really, what's the rush for, my station is a turn around station so there is always an empty train that comes through like every 3rd train.  And the trains come very quickly...so that woman rushed to jump on the packed train to ride to work standing and crowded in, with little to no personal space.  When i waited two extra minutes and an empty train came through so i got a seat and enjoyed my ride.  I don't understand what causes people to lose all sense of decorum and niceness in crowds and rush hour.  Anyways...it just seems silly to me.  What's the rush?

So it is a crazy week at work this week...you may not get too many blog posts this week because we are having our internal fundraising campaign and i am like super involved.  I was told it is the right of newbies to be involved but really it is more, they know i love to be involved and can't say no.  It is impossible.  So yesterday i didn't do any work because it was all campaign...first there was my event....yup i ran an event, i think it went well, then there was, the lunch event, then i went on the impact tour to see the impact of our donations.  It was a very busy day but very fun.
Today, i am getting a henna tattoo and attending the live auction.  All very exciting things.

In other news.....i bought some jeans....and they have changed my life....okay so here is some background.  I have always admired J Brand jeans, i have heard great things about them, how wonderful they fit and everything but i have always thought they were skinny people pants because they are a top choice of celebrities.  But Amy took me to this jean store on Saturday, and i was trying on a bunch of jeans and i pointed out a black pair i could wear to work...it is very important to have a great pair of black skinnies in your wardrobe because they are very versatile.  So i tried them on too....and they were jbrand and they fit awesome and they were super comfy and they are seriously making my life.  I bought a pair of Henry and Belles as well and dude that pair has the nicest softest denim ever! they are both amazing pairs of jeans...and i love them both but i am kind of nerding out about the jbrand.  Like super nerding because everything i read about them are true...they are seriously comfy, they stretch and fit wonderfully, they move with me..it is great.  I am sure i will have lots to say about the H&B's but i haven't really had an opportunity to wear them because i can't really wear them to work except Friday...and when i am at home...it is pj's all the time!  But i will keep you posted...i will wear them on Friday!

PS.....did i tell you JBrand Jeans = awesome.  Check them out for yourself!