My water came back on Wednesday! I love my hair more now, because i let kelly add purple streaks. I have power and heat and water and experienced very little inconvenience when it came to the ice storm of 2013. My niece and nephew love me the most (i will work on sophie but she is too little to fully appreciate the awesomeness that is Aunt Tin....but she will). Although that love comes with some obligations. For example i babysat on friday night and although Andrea and Wylie came home that evening, braydon still insisted i sleep in his car bed with him which as cool as it sounds comes with a lot of obligations, like entertaining him when he can't sleep. Also, Allyson may have implied that i am slightly overweight. But then again, i learned last night, she is very concerned that Grandma has white hair. So we all could be better in her eyes.
Anyways, i believe our Christmas plans are being changed due to power outs. But that is okay. The more the merrier!
Anyways....Merry Christmas EVERYONE!
Tuesday, December 24, 2013
Monday, December 16, 2013
And the Universe just keeps on rewarding me
So, hair cut on saturday.....and I HATE IT. I asked for a piecey choppy cut, with dark hair and blue highlights. He explains that i shouldn't go full dark because of the upkeep and how fast the roots will grow out...and it makes sense so i agree. And the way he described the colour was he would put blond in and then colour most of the blond blue. Well that did not happen. He put a million blond highlights in and then added 5 blue pieces. OH...and he didn't let me pick the blue....and it does not stand out against my normal hair...and it doesn't look blue at all, it looks grey....so you can't tell there are any blue highlights and all i have is a bunch more blond chunks which isn't what i wanted but i said okay because he described it as mainly blue highlights with a few blond...and i got the opposite. Also the cut i showed him....is not at all what i got. I wanted lots of piecey layers with some short piecey bangs....first of all the bangs are uneven and when i mentioned i wanted it shorter, he said he would have to redo the whole cut and doesn't have time. When i said i wanted more blue...he said to come back tuesday when he has more time. SERIOUSLY, why book the appointment if you don't have time. He said he didn't realize that i wanted both a cut and a colour but dude he started us an hour late and had like 5 other clients at the same time....if he can't manage his time maybe he shouldn't book so many clients.
Kelly said i wasn't forceful enough in explaining my wishes. But i showed him and picture and told him what i wanted and then he proceeded to give his oppinions and i believe that a hairdresser who has trained and studied hair should be able to take what i want and then make it work, it doesn't have to be the exact same but the vibe should be there. That is what they train to do...take what people what and make it work for that person. But he spent his time telling he understood what i wanted but we will make a few changes and instead i get nothing at all what i want and he knew it and told me to come back tuesday but dude....why would i come back and pay you for a second time to give you a second chance to screw up. When it comes to hair dressers they get one shot. This one failed. So now, i have to figure out what to do...i have crooked bangs and grey highlights....so what are my options. i am debating just dying the whole thing black and cutting it short. But i have to give it a few days to relax after the trauma of the hair cut.
What else is new....oh nothing, just my water is out in my building again...i have a horrible cold and my grumps have returned. I need to shake this negativity but it feels unshakable.
I am not suppose to be grumpy around christmas...but it seems like all signs point to a grumpy christmas.
Kelly said i wasn't forceful enough in explaining my wishes. But i showed him and picture and told him what i wanted and then he proceeded to give his oppinions and i believe that a hairdresser who has trained and studied hair should be able to take what i want and then make it work, it doesn't have to be the exact same but the vibe should be there. That is what they train to do...take what people what and make it work for that person. But he spent his time telling he understood what i wanted but we will make a few changes and instead i get nothing at all what i want and he knew it and told me to come back tuesday but dude....why would i come back and pay you for a second time to give you a second chance to screw up. When it comes to hair dressers they get one shot. This one failed. So now, i have to figure out what to do...i have crooked bangs and grey highlights....so what are my options. i am debating just dying the whole thing black and cutting it short. But i have to give it a few days to relax after the trauma of the hair cut.
What else is new....oh nothing, just my water is out in my building again...i have a horrible cold and my grumps have returned. I need to shake this negativity but it feels unshakable.
I am not suppose to be grumpy around christmas...but it seems like all signs point to a grumpy christmas.
Friday, December 13, 2013
IDIOTS
I had my final fracture clinic appointment on tuesday at St. Michael's Hospital. Now up until this moment, i have experienced terrible customer service from them, they do not know how to hire competent receptionist.
So, you already know about my previous trouble there because i rant blogged about it a lot during the brokenness. And after i started to get better and the rage and frustration at being injured started to clear i thought maybe i didn't give them enough of a change. I had a final appointment Oct 25th but i received a letter changed the appointment to Dec 13th. I thought it was nice of them to actually check with me to see if that is okay but I let it slide. Then i get a voicemail from the fracture clinc on Nov 22nd, a Kanisha called to tell me they are changing my appointment to December 10th at 9:15am and please call back to confirm you received this message. So i call back and confirm i have received it and she was like okay. but doesn't really take any of my information or see to care that i am calling. That should have raised flags but i was too distracted to notice. To be honest, i really didn't want to go back because the fracture clinic frustrates me. The cast techs were very nice and competent but the doctors couldn't make up their minds about my injury and the receptionist screwed up my appointment ever single time. But my mom said i need to go in for the final check up to make sure everything is okay.
So, day of the appointment and i show up and they have NO record of my appointment and the receptionist is super snotty about it...and i tell her i received a call but i didn't remember the name, so she calls another receptionist asking if she called me because 'i claim to have received a message and i was a no show on November 29th'
NOVEMBER 29th was not one of the 3 different appointment dates they gave me. It wasn't even on the radar...so of course i was a no show on november 29th when i had no fucking clue that i even had an appointment. SERIOUSLY how incompetent can these receptionist be if they consistently can't schedule an appointment without screwing up.
Also while on the phone with the other receptionist, she was quite rude about it and i was right there hearing every word she said. I saw red and started to leave and she while she was still on the phone and she was like 'oh never mind she's leaving hahahaha'. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? i almost turned around and slapped a bitch but it wasn't worth it. Even when i found the voicemail proving that i did receive a call from a girl named Kanisha...i decided that it was just not worth it. But i can tell you this, i will never go back to St. Michael's Hospital because if this is the consistent service i receive from them, i do not want them dealing with my health.
So, you already know about my previous trouble there because i rant blogged about it a lot during the brokenness. And after i started to get better and the rage and frustration at being injured started to clear i thought maybe i didn't give them enough of a change. I had a final appointment Oct 25th but i received a letter changed the appointment to Dec 13th. I thought it was nice of them to actually check with me to see if that is okay but I let it slide. Then i get a voicemail from the fracture clinc on Nov 22nd, a Kanisha called to tell me they are changing my appointment to December 10th at 9:15am and please call back to confirm you received this message. So i call back and confirm i have received it and she was like okay. but doesn't really take any of my information or see to care that i am calling. That should have raised flags but i was too distracted to notice. To be honest, i really didn't want to go back because the fracture clinic frustrates me. The cast techs were very nice and competent but the doctors couldn't make up their minds about my injury and the receptionist screwed up my appointment ever single time. But my mom said i need to go in for the final check up to make sure everything is okay.
So, day of the appointment and i show up and they have NO record of my appointment and the receptionist is super snotty about it...and i tell her i received a call but i didn't remember the name, so she calls another receptionist asking if she called me because 'i claim to have received a message and i was a no show on November 29th'
NOVEMBER 29th was not one of the 3 different appointment dates they gave me. It wasn't even on the radar...so of course i was a no show on november 29th when i had no fucking clue that i even had an appointment. SERIOUSLY how incompetent can these receptionist be if they consistently can't schedule an appointment without screwing up.
Also while on the phone with the other receptionist, she was quite rude about it and i was right there hearing every word she said. I saw red and started to leave and she while she was still on the phone and she was like 'oh never mind she's leaving hahahaha'. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? i almost turned around and slapped a bitch but it wasn't worth it. Even when i found the voicemail proving that i did receive a call from a girl named Kanisha...i decided that it was just not worth it. But i can tell you this, i will never go back to St. Michael's Hospital because if this is the consistent service i receive from them, i do not want them dealing with my health.
Monday, December 9, 2013
The Grumps have set in
Seriously....i am like crazy grumpy right now. It started yesterday and it hasn't let up yet and all i want to do is sleep for days. Is it sickness or seasonal effectiveness disorder? Who knows....but here is my plan. i am going to hit up the gym after work and try to run off some grump on a treadmill then i will go home and craft for an hour and then go to bed at like 9 pm.....i think that will be the plan for every day this week. I don't have time to not feel good...i have so much crap to do, i have to finish crafting Christmas presents and then wrap them and i have to do all sorts of baking.
I should have stayed home and rested up and felt better but i don't have any sick days left due to the broken ankle/pneumonia thing. So now i have like 20 days to get through until i have sick days back. But i probably won't need them by then. I can tell you this....i am NOT a pleasant sick person. i am moody and grouchy and it is best if i am isolated away from people so i don't do something i regret like yelling or attituding out. I spend so much of my energy being nice that when i am sick...i just say fuck it all why waste the energy on people...i feel to yucky to care about everyone else.
In other news i attended a sleep over this weekend at my parents with my niece and nephew. It was lots of fun. My nephew is on the fast track to being as cool as me - we talked all weekend about Doctor Who and Young Justice and other important things like games and graphic novels. I also had my dad help me with the Dino Phone Stands. I am hoping others will enjoy them because they were super fun to make. and really cost effective. But they are kind of ridiculous and i am pretty sure only a certain set of people will actually enjoy them. The set may be as small as just me. Oh well.
After the run on friday i got some more craft supplies for my last remaining presents. Of course i always have to buy more than i need because the first time i try everything, it usually fails....so the first is always a lesson learned. So far i have almost mastered Dino Phone Stands, Tshirt scarfs, and tshirt statement necklaces. Next is sharpie mugs and photo transfers.
I did my nails in a christmas theme last night to cheer me up but i don't love them. Every time i try to do polka dots i can never get them in a pattern i like. Right now it is too random. So i think i have had a brainstorm, polka dots in the shape of a triangle so it is like i have christmas tree fingers. I will keep you posted how that goes.
I should have stayed home and rested up and felt better but i don't have any sick days left due to the broken ankle/pneumonia thing. So now i have like 20 days to get through until i have sick days back. But i probably won't need them by then. I can tell you this....i am NOT a pleasant sick person. i am moody and grouchy and it is best if i am isolated away from people so i don't do something i regret like yelling or attituding out. I spend so much of my energy being nice that when i am sick...i just say fuck it all why waste the energy on people...i feel to yucky to care about everyone else.
In other news i attended a sleep over this weekend at my parents with my niece and nephew. It was lots of fun. My nephew is on the fast track to being as cool as me - we talked all weekend about Doctor Who and Young Justice and other important things like games and graphic novels. I also had my dad help me with the Dino Phone Stands. I am hoping others will enjoy them because they were super fun to make. and really cost effective. But they are kind of ridiculous and i am pretty sure only a certain set of people will actually enjoy them. The set may be as small as just me. Oh well.
After the run on friday i got some more craft supplies for my last remaining presents. Of course i always have to buy more than i need because the first time i try everything, it usually fails....so the first is always a lesson learned. So far i have almost mastered Dino Phone Stands, Tshirt scarfs, and tshirt statement necklaces. Next is sharpie mugs and photo transfers.
I did my nails in a christmas theme last night to cheer me up but i don't love them. Every time i try to do polka dots i can never get them in a pattern i like. Right now it is too random. So i think i have had a brainstorm, polka dots in the shape of a triangle so it is like i have christmas tree fingers. I will keep you posted how that goes.
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Catching Fire
OMG.....not to fan girl or anything but i finally saw catching fire tuesday night and it completed me! It is my favourite of the book series. The movie really measures up! Also i insisted that we upgrade my drink to the souvenir Thor cup with key chain. It was crazy big and i needed to use two hands to drink from it and they told me it doesn't come with a straw.....what is the point of a take home cup if the straw is disposable. It seems like there is something wrong with that design. Anyways, the whole internet is all crazy for Katniss' cowl in the movie the one armed cowl thing and it is awesome....but there was a better cowl completely overlooked. It was green and tweeded plaid and it was all weevey. It was amazing and i am going to make it.
Although right now, my co-worker is moving and has given me all her old tshirts for craft purposes. I am making those apparently easy tshirt scarfs. I don't love them....there are too many unfinished ends and seems showing everywhere. But i have a lot of shirts to work from. I will keep trying until i find the right method to make them up to my standards. And i when i do...it will be a great christmas present. I just have to keep trying. Each one gets a little better. I am actually going to have to hit up the dollar store tonight for some supplies. I am full of craft ideas but i need to find the supplies.
Here are some DIY's that i want to do:
Felted Elbow Patches:
http://honestlywtf.com/diy/diy-elbow-patch/
Heart Blanket:
http://www.abeautifulmess.com/2012/05/heart-blanket-diy.html
Dino Phone Tripod:
http://www.eatsleepmake.com/2013/07/make-dino-iphone-tripod.html
Although right now, my co-worker is moving and has given me all her old tshirts for craft purposes. I am making those apparently easy tshirt scarfs. I don't love them....there are too many unfinished ends and seems showing everywhere. But i have a lot of shirts to work from. I will keep trying until i find the right method to make them up to my standards. And i when i do...it will be a great christmas present. I just have to keep trying. Each one gets a little better. I am actually going to have to hit up the dollar store tonight for some supplies. I am full of craft ideas but i need to find the supplies.
Here are some DIY's that i want to do:
Felted Elbow Patches:
http://honestlywtf.com/diy/diy-elbow-patch/
Heart Blanket:
http://www.abeautifulmess.com/2012/05/heart-blanket-diy.html
Dino Phone Tripod:
http://www.eatsleepmake.com/2013/07/make-dino-iphone-tripod.html
I think they would make great gifts.
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
21 days
We are in count down mode people...are you ready? I thought i was on a great track, halfway through my list of people with ideas for the rest...but the ideas aren't panning out as quickly as i would like. So now...it is crunch time. I also don't know why i left all my craft related presents to the end...they normally need more time...so what was i even thinking to save those for later. So now every spare moment needs to be occupied with craft relatedness.
I also need to let you know that i am a giant weirdo....i keep quoting doctor who and when no one reacts because they all aren't crazy like me...i say 'doctor who reference'. i really think it ruins the reference if you have to tell people where it is from but i can't stop it. It is like i have a inside joke and no one in my immediate circle knows it. I need more people to watch it so when i make my hilarious references people think i am charmingly hilarious instead of the blank stares i get now.
I am currently binge watching Fringe. I love it, and i have never yelled at a tv show more...it leaves you with such random endings that you are like What the WHAT??? and then you feel compelled to watch the next episode immediately for answers. Or maybe that's just me and my tv addicted nature. I must say i am getting spoiled with this Netflix thing....being able to binge watch shows really changes the nature of my show watching routine. Normally i watch an episode on regularly scheduled tv then obsess about it until the next week and come up with all these theories and stuff. Now i don't need theories i just need to watch and yell at the tv. It is pretty fun. I have never really been a tv yeller because i can usually see the twist coming because i obsess to a level that is crazy and try to figure it out. Although once when me and mom were on a shopping trip in the states, we went to see Step Up 3 (i think my least favourite of the 4) and the audience was seriously surprised by all the "plot twists" and i put them in air quotes because seriously...they were pretty obvious but there was so much yelling at the screen (i believe i blogged about the experience but i am too lazy to reference it)...and i was all like weird, why so much yelling. Now i understand...they were having their mind blown.
Okay....that was a random tangent.
This weekend i adventured to the One of a Kind show where i was reminded that i can do lots of the things they have there and why am i not doing it. So....it is time to get crafty.
I also need to let you know that i am a giant weirdo....i keep quoting doctor who and when no one reacts because they all aren't crazy like me...i say 'doctor who reference'. i really think it ruins the reference if you have to tell people where it is from but i can't stop it. It is like i have a inside joke and no one in my immediate circle knows it. I need more people to watch it so when i make my hilarious references people think i am charmingly hilarious instead of the blank stares i get now.
I am currently binge watching Fringe. I love it, and i have never yelled at a tv show more...it leaves you with such random endings that you are like What the WHAT??? and then you feel compelled to watch the next episode immediately for answers. Or maybe that's just me and my tv addicted nature. I must say i am getting spoiled with this Netflix thing....being able to binge watch shows really changes the nature of my show watching routine. Normally i watch an episode on regularly scheduled tv then obsess about it until the next week and come up with all these theories and stuff. Now i don't need theories i just need to watch and yell at the tv. It is pretty fun. I have never really been a tv yeller because i can usually see the twist coming because i obsess to a level that is crazy and try to figure it out. Although once when me and mom were on a shopping trip in the states, we went to see Step Up 3 (i think my least favourite of the 4) and the audience was seriously surprised by all the "plot twists" and i put them in air quotes because seriously...they were pretty obvious but there was so much yelling at the screen (i believe i blogged about the experience but i am too lazy to reference it)...and i was all like weird, why so much yelling. Now i understand...they were having their mind blown.
Okay....that was a random tangent.
This weekend i adventured to the One of a Kind show where i was reminded that i can do lots of the things they have there and why am i not doing it. So....it is time to get crafty.
Friday, November 29, 2013
The winter sickness is here
So.....i am not feeling great. I have a stuffy nose and a cough that when i cough i feel like i am going to lose a lung. But other than that...i am doing great.
What's new with me you ask. Well my hate of marching bands continue. I wasn't feeling well Wednesday and i decided no work and a nap would be great....only to be awoken by that damn marching band after like only an hour of napping. Such rage!
What else....well i am being profiled...i found a flyer at my door for a new pet place....someone knows that i am a single cat lady. And i didn't see any one else on my floor have that flyer...so i was specifically flyered. I don't know how i feel about that. I am cool being the weird cat lady...let's face it, it was where i was always headed. But i didn't think the outside world would catch on so soon....i though i held my crazy down better than that. Do you know what this tells me....my crazy is out there and it is time to embrace it.
That means i could have told that girl i saw at physio yesterday that her outfit was a hot mess. white pleated peasant skirt that went to mid calf with a pink blouse tucked in and thick blue tights....THEN she put a fuzzy blue sweater over top...then tied a black shirt around her waist and then put a huge blue coat over the whole thing. It was just too much. It was like she took all the uncool hipster things and mushed them all together. She needed help!
On the fashion note...i have decided to buy leather leggings.....i already have a kind of leather like legging but these are much more leathery. I usually get a new holiday outfit every year...and i recently learned that wearing leggings as pants although frowned on by me because they aren't pants....are super comfortable to wear if you have to go somewhere that requires lots of eating. So i have decided to plan my entire holiday wardrobe around these leather leggings....that way i can eat my face off and only regret in it on one level and not all levels.
On a final note, i am almost done christmas shopping. If you guys are looking for presents. A suggestion, a donation or a gift in kind is a wonderful way to give two gifts at once. I did WWF animal adoptions this year for a few people but most charities have a gift catalog and it is a perfect way to give a gift for someone you know doesn't really need anything.
What's new with me you ask. Well my hate of marching bands continue. I wasn't feeling well Wednesday and i decided no work and a nap would be great....only to be awoken by that damn marching band after like only an hour of napping. Such rage!
What else....well i am being profiled...i found a flyer at my door for a new pet place....someone knows that i am a single cat lady. And i didn't see any one else on my floor have that flyer...so i was specifically flyered. I don't know how i feel about that. I am cool being the weird cat lady...let's face it, it was where i was always headed. But i didn't think the outside world would catch on so soon....i though i held my crazy down better than that. Do you know what this tells me....my crazy is out there and it is time to embrace it.
That means i could have told that girl i saw at physio yesterday that her outfit was a hot mess. white pleated peasant skirt that went to mid calf with a pink blouse tucked in and thick blue tights....THEN she put a fuzzy blue sweater over top...then tied a black shirt around her waist and then put a huge blue coat over the whole thing. It was just too much. It was like she took all the uncool hipster things and mushed them all together. She needed help!
On the fashion note...i have decided to buy leather leggings.....i already have a kind of leather like legging but these are much more leathery. I usually get a new holiday outfit every year...and i recently learned that wearing leggings as pants although frowned on by me because they aren't pants....are super comfortable to wear if you have to go somewhere that requires lots of eating. So i have decided to plan my entire holiday wardrobe around these leather leggings....that way i can eat my face off and only regret in it on one level and not all levels.
On a final note, i am almost done christmas shopping. If you guys are looking for presents. A suggestion, a donation or a gift in kind is a wonderful way to give two gifts at once. I did WWF animal adoptions this year for a few people but most charities have a gift catalog and it is a perfect way to give a gift for someone you know doesn't really need anything.
Monday, November 25, 2013
Weekend of Who
So this weekend was the 50th anniversary of Doctor Who, and they had a special - The Day of the Doctor. Because it was such a big deal, space had doctor specials all weekend. Although i must admit that by the time sunday rolled around, i was a little doctor who'd out with specials. I would have prefered if they just marathoned the show. The specials were nice but they showed the same ones over and over again. So on sunday i switched to fringe.
But that does mean, i did not go out much this weekend. I ran on friday night and i am getting so much stronger!!!!! But it was cold out there.
Sunday i went in search of Mark's Christmas present (i have him in the christmas draw) and a new phone battery. Do you know what is strange, best buy and future shop are sold out in store and online for my phone's replacement battery. They must be having a lot of battery problems. I had to get it at the source which was only available online.
But i did get Mark's present. That makes my total gift need vs have almost 50%. I also have to give my dad my christmas list today.
I was in the bay last week and i was pricing my dream kettle....the one Alex has...it's a programmable kettle that boils the water to the exact temperature you need for your tea. But they also have this tea steeper which boils the water to the correct temp then lowers a basket of tea into the water and then brings it up automatically. And it is cheaper than the dream kettle (which is a lie according to the bay's website because online it is 3x the price it was in store...in store it was only 139.99 online it is apparently 299? i must have been looking at the wrong thing). But online the magic kettle is on sale so maybe i should just ask for that like i planned.
But that does mean, i did not go out much this weekend. I ran on friday night and i am getting so much stronger!!!!! But it was cold out there.
Sunday i went in search of Mark's Christmas present (i have him in the christmas draw) and a new phone battery. Do you know what is strange, best buy and future shop are sold out in store and online for my phone's replacement battery. They must be having a lot of battery problems. I had to get it at the source which was only available online.
But i did get Mark's present. That makes my total gift need vs have almost 50%. I also have to give my dad my christmas list today.
I was in the bay last week and i was pricing my dream kettle....the one Alex has...it's a programmable kettle that boils the water to the exact temperature you need for your tea. But they also have this tea steeper which boils the water to the correct temp then lowers a basket of tea into the water and then brings it up automatically. And it is cheaper than the dream kettle (which is a lie according to the bay's website because online it is 3x the price it was in store...in store it was only 139.99 online it is apparently 299? i must have been looking at the wrong thing). But online the magic kettle is on sale so maybe i should just ask for that like i planned.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Winter Coats
So there is this brand of coat that i am IN LOVE with. of course it is like a million dollars and they never have my size in store. And i have to go up a size because they never take into account the chesty area. But they are my dream winter coat. That and Aritzia's poofy coat because they look so cozy (also another brand that doesn't fit the chesty area)
I was at the bay last night and they had the brand i love it is Soia and Kyo. Seriously awesome. I found two jackets i love and want. But they just didn't fit right...to my forever sadness. I guess i am just not an designer coat owner. But here are the ones i tried on:
I was at the bay last night and they had the brand i love it is Soia and Kyo. Seriously awesome. I found two jackets i love and want. But they just didn't fit right...to my forever sadness. I guess i am just not an designer coat owner. But here are the ones i tried on:
Aren't they pretty. I want them so bad...but i am stuck with another year of the coat who's buttons never stay attached. I am really starting to resent the jacket. It fills me with anger now. This is my 3rd year with this coat and i have coat envy of everyone who doesn't have to spend every week re-sewing their coat buttons.
Here is the other jacket i want. It is more affordable:
Monday, November 18, 2013
Long Road Ahead
Two runs completed. They seemed impossible. Like every step was crazy hard.
I started off strong on friday night. But faded super quickly. I also didn't feel like i needed the one and one's. And instead tried to run as long as possible...i faded super quick. Sunday, i ran with mom and she made me stick to a strict schedule....run past 10 houses, walk past 10 houses. I lasted much longer with the strict schedule and i felt like i finished very strong....well as strong as can be expected.
It feels like i am never going to make it back to my previous levels of fitness. But i will try.
I started off strong on friday night. But faded super quickly. I also didn't feel like i needed the one and one's. And instead tried to run as long as possible...i faded super quick. Sunday, i ran with mom and she made me stick to a strict schedule....run past 10 houses, walk past 10 houses. I lasted much longer with the strict schedule and i felt like i finished very strong....well as strong as can be expected.
It feels like i am never going to make it back to my previous levels of fitness. But i will try.
Friday, November 15, 2013
Nerves Abound
So, i have been cleared for running again after almost 6 months off. A broken ankle really stops you in your tracks. I have never loved running. It hasn't been something that makes me feel peaceful, i don't ever get a runners high. But i come from a running family. And after not running for 6 months i kind of miss it. Don't worry that is all going to change as soon as i start running tonight.
God i am so nervous. It seems strange but ever since i have recovered, i am terrified of falling and breaking my ankle again. It was such a nothing fall, i was running along, hit uneven sidewalk and over i went on my ankle. I don't even remember it hurting that much. but the fall seemed inconsequential in the grand scheme...something i have done numerous times before...why did this fall result in a broken ankle and how can i stop it from happening again.
I see wet sidewalk and i think 'don't fall'. I see construction and i think 'don't fall'. hell i can't even go up and down stairs now without holding onto the railing in case i slip and fall. But you know that old saying...'always get back up on that horse'.
So this is me getting back on the horse. I am going to run tonight, only 1 and 1's but i am going to run.
I will wear the same shoes i ran it when i broke my ankle but i want to get new shoes because i feel like those ones have bad juju. Just like i can't wear my boot camp shoes anymore because it was my only shoe option for a long time. I hate them now.
So in summary, i am crazy and i am going to face my running fear. I am also going to buy new running shoes because i am a superstitious weirdo.
God i am so nervous. It seems strange but ever since i have recovered, i am terrified of falling and breaking my ankle again. It was such a nothing fall, i was running along, hit uneven sidewalk and over i went on my ankle. I don't even remember it hurting that much. but the fall seemed inconsequential in the grand scheme...something i have done numerous times before...why did this fall result in a broken ankle and how can i stop it from happening again.
I see wet sidewalk and i think 'don't fall'. I see construction and i think 'don't fall'. hell i can't even go up and down stairs now without holding onto the railing in case i slip and fall. But you know that old saying...'always get back up on that horse'.
So this is me getting back on the horse. I am going to run tonight, only 1 and 1's but i am going to run.
I will wear the same shoes i ran it when i broke my ankle but i want to get new shoes because i feel like those ones have bad juju. Just like i can't wear my boot camp shoes anymore because it was my only shoe option for a long time. I hate them now.
So in summary, i am crazy and i am going to face my running fear. I am also going to buy new running shoes because i am a superstitious weirdo.
Thursday, November 14, 2013
Things
With the Santa Claus Parade on Sunday, me and dad (the crazy christmas pushers) have ramped up our christmas preparedness plan. Saturday Christmas lights and baking. Sunday actual parade and some crafting.
I have got two presents with plans for more, i am going to get mom some American Apparel winter leggings. She has started wearing leggings as pants and she knows it is against the rules but says they are too comfortable. So i am going to get her the thick winter leggings that are basically skinny legged sweat pants. I got braydon the graphic novels and kelly an 80's throw back sweatshirt.
I am also going to craft a bunch of stuff for gifts for people at work and stuff. Last year i made everyone tea and i think i will try to do that again because it is important to push the tea message always.
I have to go to Mary Maxim after work today to pick up mom some wool so i am going to get a bunch of wool for one skein cowls for a few important people at work.
I have also started to put together a list of things I want. But the problem is i normally just buy the stuff i want that is reasonably priced. Which means, so far the only things on my list are things i really want but haven't been able to justify the expense. Which means i think they are all too expensive. I don't want to force other people to buy me expensive things. I am going to have to start breaking down the small stuff. For example: UrbanOutfitters Online is one of my favourite sites because it has great sales. Last night i was looking on that site because if you keep checking the sale stuff, you are going to find great cheap stuff...it is actually better than going into the store to check the sale stuff because they never have the larger sizes..it is all xs and s. Anyways...while checking things out last night, i filled my cart up with some awesome stuff and then realized...i probably shouldn't be buying myself stuff until after christmas.
So Here is my Christmas list so far:
Cuisinart Programmable Kettle
The Doctor Who season 1 - 7 Blue Ray boxset they just released (it comes with a sonic screwdriver)
A Papasan Chair
Ohh...and i found this colour change nail polish on etsy - pretty and polish brand...i wants me some!!!
I have got two presents with plans for more, i am going to get mom some American Apparel winter leggings. She has started wearing leggings as pants and she knows it is against the rules but says they are too comfortable. So i am going to get her the thick winter leggings that are basically skinny legged sweat pants. I got braydon the graphic novels and kelly an 80's throw back sweatshirt.
I am also going to craft a bunch of stuff for gifts for people at work and stuff. Last year i made everyone tea and i think i will try to do that again because it is important to push the tea message always.
I have to go to Mary Maxim after work today to pick up mom some wool so i am going to get a bunch of wool for one skein cowls for a few important people at work.
I have also started to put together a list of things I want. But the problem is i normally just buy the stuff i want that is reasonably priced. Which means, so far the only things on my list are things i really want but haven't been able to justify the expense. Which means i think they are all too expensive. I don't want to force other people to buy me expensive things. I am going to have to start breaking down the small stuff. For example: UrbanOutfitters Online is one of my favourite sites because it has great sales. Last night i was looking on that site because if you keep checking the sale stuff, you are going to find great cheap stuff...it is actually better than going into the store to check the sale stuff because they never have the larger sizes..it is all xs and s. Anyways...while checking things out last night, i filled my cart up with some awesome stuff and then realized...i probably shouldn't be buying myself stuff until after christmas.
So Here is my Christmas list so far:
Cuisinart Programmable Kettle
The Doctor Who season 1 - 7 Blue Ray boxset they just released (it comes with a sonic screwdriver)
A Papasan Chair
Ohh...and i found this colour change nail polish on etsy - pretty and polish brand...i wants me some!!!
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
You know the Old Saying....
Go big or go home.
Well guess what. I have gone BIG on my nerd levels.
Okay, let me start at the beginning. So awhile ago, i saw they were advertising Doctor Who on space, i have never seen the show and i was like...maybe i should give it a chance. So i watched the second half of season 7 and enjoyed it. Then in build up for the 50th anniversary special they started marathoning it on sundays. I was hooked, so i rented the first season and went from hooked to OBSESSED.
Also during this time, a co-worker started bringing me Graphic Novels to read...and started teaching me about the crazy world of graphic novels and before i knew it, he was my Nerd Guru. That is right, i have my own nerd guru now.
I am a full on nerd girl now....well almost, because i still get overwhelmed at the amount of choices in the comic stores. And my only big nerd show right now is Doctor Who, which i LOVE. I also don't know if i would pass any nerd tests because i although i know the difference between star wars and star trek, i sometimes mix up the names, not because i don't know the difference but they both start with star.
So here is a list of my new nerd loves:
Trades (that is the proper name for graphic novels)
Science Fiction - so far Doctor Who, Torchwood, and Fringe but according to my nerd guru he is working me up to Battle Star Galactica
Super Heroes - batman is my spirit animal because he is basically a grumpy old man and i love that about him, and superman is way too vanilla.
Yup, before you know it...i am going to be dressing up and going to cons (comic conventions). I would probably dress up as Fallen Angel but she doesn't wear shoes and although i love that, i don't think that unprotected feet at a crowded convention would be smart. Plus you know how i get when it comes to crowds...super grumpy and uncomfortable. So i am not ready for that yet.
Well guess what. I have gone BIG on my nerd levels.
Okay, let me start at the beginning. So awhile ago, i saw they were advertising Doctor Who on space, i have never seen the show and i was like...maybe i should give it a chance. So i watched the second half of season 7 and enjoyed it. Then in build up for the 50th anniversary special they started marathoning it on sundays. I was hooked, so i rented the first season and went from hooked to OBSESSED.
Also during this time, a co-worker started bringing me Graphic Novels to read...and started teaching me about the crazy world of graphic novels and before i knew it, he was my Nerd Guru. That is right, i have my own nerd guru now.
I am a full on nerd girl now....well almost, because i still get overwhelmed at the amount of choices in the comic stores. And my only big nerd show right now is Doctor Who, which i LOVE. I also don't know if i would pass any nerd tests because i although i know the difference between star wars and star trek, i sometimes mix up the names, not because i don't know the difference but they both start with star.
So here is a list of my new nerd loves:
Trades (that is the proper name for graphic novels)
Science Fiction - so far Doctor Who, Torchwood, and Fringe but according to my nerd guru he is working me up to Battle Star Galactica
Super Heroes - batman is my spirit animal because he is basically a grumpy old man and i love that about him, and superman is way too vanilla.
Yup, before you know it...i am going to be dressing up and going to cons (comic conventions). I would probably dress up as Fallen Angel but she doesn't wear shoes and although i love that, i don't think that unprotected feet at a crowded convention would be smart. Plus you know how i get when it comes to crowds...super grumpy and uncomfortable. So i am not ready for that yet.
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Back to Business
I was cleared for running. I no longer have a doctors note to get me out of the family business.
The strange part. I don't know if i missed the act of running but i sure did miss my running people and the community i have when it came to my exercise routine. I miss seeing Jenn and Tak like twice a week, i miss talking to them.
There are so many reasons to start back with running....to get back into my fit routine, to see my friends again...but i think i really want to prove i can. I don't want to be exhausted walking any more, i don't want to be out of breath when i climb stairs. I want to go back to what i was before....a slightly more fit version of myself that still enjoys treating herself to food but that all balances out because of the running and boxing and boot camp. Without the exercise, the fit has been completely lost.
It feels like an impossible idea that i could go back to that girl but slow and steady. I have decided i can do it with help and support from my friends and family.
I am also going to try to get back to eating proper meals, Steph recommended a website, eatracker.ca and it is a website run by the ontario government that will help you track what you are eating and link you up with a dietitian. So...i am tracking my meals for a week and then i will see what help i need.
In other news. I know i haven't been blogging much and i am sorry. It has been a really rough few months. I was so angry and bitter about being injured, then i was focused on recovery, then work was insane town, then october was the month of sadness followed by the best news ever (i am an aunt again and again). So i finally feel like things are starting to level out and return to normal.
The funny thing is i turned 33 in July and i was actually looking forward to it because there is this british study that says that your 33 year is your best year because you are young enough to still be care free, but you are established enough to afford the fun. So far, 33 bites. But i have another like 7 months to go, so let's hope it picks up.
I have more stuff to update you guys on....like i have gone full nerd, i even have a nerd guru but that is for another day.
The strange part. I don't know if i missed the act of running but i sure did miss my running people and the community i have when it came to my exercise routine. I miss seeing Jenn and Tak like twice a week, i miss talking to them.
There are so many reasons to start back with running....to get back into my fit routine, to see my friends again...but i think i really want to prove i can. I don't want to be exhausted walking any more, i don't want to be out of breath when i climb stairs. I want to go back to what i was before....a slightly more fit version of myself that still enjoys treating herself to food but that all balances out because of the running and boxing and boot camp. Without the exercise, the fit has been completely lost.
It feels like an impossible idea that i could go back to that girl but slow and steady. I have decided i can do it with help and support from my friends and family.
I am also going to try to get back to eating proper meals, Steph recommended a website, eatracker.ca and it is a website run by the ontario government that will help you track what you are eating and link you up with a dietitian. So...i am tracking my meals for a week and then i will see what help i need.
In other news. I know i haven't been blogging much and i am sorry. It has been a really rough few months. I was so angry and bitter about being injured, then i was focused on recovery, then work was insane town, then october was the month of sadness followed by the best news ever (i am an aunt again and again). So i finally feel like things are starting to level out and return to normal.
The funny thing is i turned 33 in July and i was actually looking forward to it because there is this british study that says that your 33 year is your best year because you are young enough to still be care free, but you are established enough to afford the fun. So far, 33 bites. But i have another like 7 months to go, so let's hope it picks up.
I have more stuff to update you guys on....like i have gone full nerd, i even have a nerd guru but that is for another day.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
BABY DAY
So, this is an unconfirmed report but guess who went into labour last night......STEPH!
I am going to be an Aunt at some point today and i am super excited. I can't wait to see steph and mark and the new baby. I will be an Aunt times 3 now. And i guess i should be prepared for this one to call me aunt tin.
YAY BABY!
I am going to be an Aunt at some point today and i am super excited. I can't wait to see steph and mark and the new baby. I will be an Aunt times 3 now. And i guess i should be prepared for this one to call me aunt tin.
YAY BABY!
Tuesday, October 22, 2013
Life Continues
There are some things i want to write about....but i don't know how to start. So i will just say, losing someone is never easy. No matter how much you are prepared for it....saying good bye forever...you lose a little bit of yourself.
It has been a tough summer/fall for people i care about and they were so strong.
It has been a tough summer/fall for people i care about and they were so strong.
Friday, October 11, 2013
Getting Ready
I know you aren't going to want to hear this....but christmas, it is getting close-ish. I know most people want to wait until after halloween to get organized. But i have decided that i am going to start buying presents now when i see appropriate presents...i will get them....then try my hardest to not give them to the person early. I have bought two presents.....and i have failed once. I bought a gold skull mug for kelly and comics for braydon. I was so excited about the mug...that i have already told her about it...thus defeating the christmas surprise. So i have to try again and find a better present for her.
But i am excited for christmas this year....although i think it may just be me and the parents....but that was fun two years ago when we marathoned Redneck Rocket Scientists. And you know how i feel about a good television marathon.
I also think i just found the perfect gift for dad. I am kind of excited at how much i am rocking at this christmas gift thing. Well i guess i can't claim complete rocking because i am giving kelly her gift now and not calling it a christmas gift. But she did show me this awesome website and maybe i will get her something from there. I still want to buy my new niece a bean bag chair.....baby's first bean bag....it would be awesome....but i don't think steph and mark would approve. So i will find something else exciting. She will be REALLY tiny at christmas so she won't really be ready for toys yet.
I hope you all have a happy long weekend, and enjoy your turkey day!
But i am excited for christmas this year....although i think it may just be me and the parents....but that was fun two years ago when we marathoned Redneck Rocket Scientists. And you know how i feel about a good television marathon.
I also think i just found the perfect gift for dad. I am kind of excited at how much i am rocking at this christmas gift thing. Well i guess i can't claim complete rocking because i am giving kelly her gift now and not calling it a christmas gift. But she did show me this awesome website and maybe i will get her something from there. I still want to buy my new niece a bean bag chair.....baby's first bean bag....it would be awesome....but i don't think steph and mark would approve. So i will find something else exciting. She will be REALLY tiny at christmas so she won't really be ready for toys yet.
I hope you all have a happy long weekend, and enjoy your turkey day!
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Baking and babies
So, the weekend is over. The weekend was a roller coaster of emotions for me. I spent friday night and saturday morning baking....oh so much baking, but everything turned out great. I ran out of time for donuts so i bought timbits then tossed them in coloured sugar to make them funner and more appropriate for theme.
I also had an adventure in hot rollers. I have decided i should get myself a set. It wasn't pretty to get to the curled hair but it was quicker and easier than curling iron. I think it is because i have so much hair....like a crazy annoying amount of hair.
The shower turned out great, there was lots of food and fun and games, as well as great presents. It was a little overwhelming the number of people there but it was good. Steph got a lot of great baby stuff....and the games were way cooler than normal baby shower games. I am not a huge fan of most baby shower games but the ones andrea had were quite inventive.
Then i went to play cards against humanity, it was hilarious. I laughed so hard my face hurt the next day. Plus we played rock band....i learn that i am horrible at the drums and base is where it is at...it is the easiest which means it is perfect for my level of skill when it comes to video games.
Sunday i spent in my pj's watching doctor who. I have decided i am a doctor who floosy because each doctor that i am currently watching is my favourite!
I also had an adventure in hot rollers. I have decided i should get myself a set. It wasn't pretty to get to the curled hair but it was quicker and easier than curling iron. I think it is because i have so much hair....like a crazy annoying amount of hair.
The shower turned out great, there was lots of food and fun and games, as well as great presents. It was a little overwhelming the number of people there but it was good. Steph got a lot of great baby stuff....and the games were way cooler than normal baby shower games. I am not a huge fan of most baby shower games but the ones andrea had were quite inventive.
Then i went to play cards against humanity, it was hilarious. I laughed so hard my face hurt the next day. Plus we played rock band....i learn that i am horrible at the drums and base is where it is at...it is the easiest which means it is perfect for my level of skill when it comes to video games.
Sunday i spent in my pj's watching doctor who. I have decided i am a doctor who floosy because each doctor that i am currently watching is my favourite!
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
Baking and Nerdiness
So....it is official. I love Doctor Who, and i am a giant nerd. I am a little disappointed in myself that i wouldn't be more original with my love but dude....Doctor Who is for me.
Step 1 of baking went successfully on the weekend, i made crazy coloured shortbread. I will also be making sugar cookies and i found an easy to make cronut recipe, so that is positive. I am also making chocolate pretzels, and maybe some puffy timbits. Also some mini cupcakes. I am also going to attempt to make lorax trees with cotton candy. Now i just have to find the time to make it all. I will probably go to my parents on friday night. I don't know if i will sleep over because i don't want to lug all my clothes for saturday to mom and dad's to work and then to mom and dad's. I think if i go there after work friday i can get a lot of my baking prep done. Then when i go back on saturday, i will only have to ice things. The cupcakes and the pretzels should be made on friday night so they have time to set. I may be lazy for the donuts and buy those honey dipped timbits and then just coat them is sparkley pink sugar.
On a final note, i have decided a halloween costume that should be relatively easy to pull off. River Tam! All i need is a blue dress, a black shrug, combat boots, and weapons. I have some of those items already. Although will people really get the costume, it is relatively simple. they may just think i am some girl that kills things....which is also cool.
I was debating rainbow bright again this year but it just seemed too hard/expensive. Although i am still debating it. I found this website that does all the work at finding the pieces for you:
http://carboncostume.com/rainbow-brite/
Seriously awesome website!!!
Step 1 of baking went successfully on the weekend, i made crazy coloured shortbread. I will also be making sugar cookies and i found an easy to make cronut recipe, so that is positive. I am also making chocolate pretzels, and maybe some puffy timbits. Also some mini cupcakes. I am also going to attempt to make lorax trees with cotton candy. Now i just have to find the time to make it all. I will probably go to my parents on friday night. I don't know if i will sleep over because i don't want to lug all my clothes for saturday to mom and dad's to work and then to mom and dad's. I think if i go there after work friday i can get a lot of my baking prep done. Then when i go back on saturday, i will only have to ice things. The cupcakes and the pretzels should be made on friday night so they have time to set. I may be lazy for the donuts and buy those honey dipped timbits and then just coat them is sparkley pink sugar.
On a final note, i have decided a halloween costume that should be relatively easy to pull off. River Tam! All i need is a blue dress, a black shrug, combat boots, and weapons. I have some of those items already. Although will people really get the costume, it is relatively simple. they may just think i am some girl that kills things....which is also cool.
I was debating rainbow bright again this year but it just seemed too hard/expensive. Although i am still debating it. I found this website that does all the work at finding the pieces for you:
http://carboncostume.com/rainbow-brite/
Seriously awesome website!!!
Friday, September 27, 2013
Another First completed
Wednesday night i did my first official post injury yoga class. It was tough and the instructor moved through the poses very quickly. I had to modify a lot of the moves where the left leg was dominant. It just isn't ready to completely hold me up.
I am exhausted but it is that time of year at work that you are exhausted for like 4 months straight. All i really want to do is sleep through my weekend. But with the baby shower next weekend, i have a bunch of stuff to do. I want to do a bunch of baking for the shower.....so i will be testing recipes this weekend. I am thinking colourful cookies, some fun cupcakes, maybe some cronuts, maybe some timbits...i am excited for baking.
It is friday again!!! Which means we are almost the longest from monday in terms of days off. I am thinking of going to a yoga class on saturday afternoon, it is a restorative class which might be very nice to have a quiet relaxing exercise class.
I am getting back on track!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am exhausted but it is that time of year at work that you are exhausted for like 4 months straight. All i really want to do is sleep through my weekend. But with the baby shower next weekend, i have a bunch of stuff to do. I want to do a bunch of baking for the shower.....so i will be testing recipes this weekend. I am thinking colourful cookies, some fun cupcakes, maybe some cronuts, maybe some timbits...i am excited for baking.
It is friday again!!! Which means we are almost the longest from monday in terms of days off. I am thinking of going to a yoga class on saturday afternoon, it is a restorative class which might be very nice to have a quiet relaxing exercise class.
I am getting back on track!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
My show is back
New girl is back on television and it makes me happy. I am glad it is back. I missed my fictional boyfriend. Man i wish Nick Miller was a real person....he is the perfect mix of dorky and funny.
In other exciting news......I got new grey jeans. Thanks to H&M and Amy. I am wearing them today, to get them all worn in. They are a little low but i am willing to overlook a lot for grey jeans that don't have a hole in the butt. I got another pair of jeans, they are this blacky grey pair with wierd stitching at the knees but i kind of love them the most. they are the best! They had them in grey but not in my size. They also had these other cool pair that were grey again not in my size. But i am finding H&M is shrinking their sizes. They keep getting smaller and smaller. So there isn't a lot that fits me there anymore. But they do have great inexpensive blazers that i can wear at work. Not that i really work in a blazer environment.
I also watched Whedon's new show last night. I liked it, it was good but i think it needs a few episodes to settle into itself, i think it is still proving that it can hold up to the avengers. But it doesn't need too. What Whedon has always been good at is character development. Making characters that are complex and interesting and never perfect. The snappy banter was there but the most interesting character in the whole show was the agent he recruited, maggie, she was a desk agent and didn't want to go out in the field. And then, the other agents recognized her and she was super awesome at kick people's butts. So i am all curious about her. I think she may be my favourite....also she is the strong silent type and i like that..it is a good balance against the horrible overtalking duo of the tech team. They are just a little too much for me right now. i think they will eventually win me over but for now....not my favourites.
In other exciting news......I got new grey jeans. Thanks to H&M and Amy. I am wearing them today, to get them all worn in. They are a little low but i am willing to overlook a lot for grey jeans that don't have a hole in the butt. I got another pair of jeans, they are this blacky grey pair with wierd stitching at the knees but i kind of love them the most. they are the best! They had them in grey but not in my size. They also had these other cool pair that were grey again not in my size. But i am finding H&M is shrinking their sizes. They keep getting smaller and smaller. So there isn't a lot that fits me there anymore. But they do have great inexpensive blazers that i can wear at work. Not that i really work in a blazer environment.
I also watched Whedon's new show last night. I liked it, it was good but i think it needs a few episodes to settle into itself, i think it is still proving that it can hold up to the avengers. But it doesn't need too. What Whedon has always been good at is character development. Making characters that are complex and interesting and never perfect. The snappy banter was there but the most interesting character in the whole show was the agent he recruited, maggie, she was a desk agent and didn't want to go out in the field. And then, the other agents recognized her and she was super awesome at kick people's butts. So i am all curious about her. I think she may be my favourite....also she is the strong silent type and i like that..it is a good balance against the horrible overtalking duo of the tech team. They are just a little too much for me right now. i think they will eventually win me over but for now....not my favourites.
Friday, September 20, 2013
TGIF For Ever
So it is friday, i am so glad it is friday. I am in a crazy happy mood which is so strange in comparison to how i felt all week. I really wanted to send this week away forever. I am tired and grumpy and all i can think about is sleeping. But i am weirdly peppy today. I don't know why...maybe because it is friday, maybe because i am all pepped up on tea. Maybe i have just snapped.
All options are very realistic possibilities but i don't think any of them are singly responsible for what is happening with my mood. I am very tired of being grumpy all the time, and i was reminded yesterday that although i am currently frustrated with work there are a lot of people behind me, supporting me. I have to remember that and not get so bogged down with negative. I need to re-establish my chill. What i really need is my exercise outlet. But i have to get my back better and my ankle better.
I am actually starting yoga next week. The place my physio guy recommended never got back to me...so forget them. I am going to yogatree starting next week.
I also have big plans this weekend. Tonight is Laundry-gedon....then tomorrow i go to mom and dad's build a pillow fort and don't come out until Sunday night.
All options are very realistic possibilities but i don't think any of them are singly responsible for what is happening with my mood. I am very tired of being grumpy all the time, and i was reminded yesterday that although i am currently frustrated with work there are a lot of people behind me, supporting me. I have to remember that and not get so bogged down with negative. I need to re-establish my chill. What i really need is my exercise outlet. But i have to get my back better and my ankle better.
I am actually starting yoga next week. The place my physio guy recommended never got back to me...so forget them. I am going to yogatree starting next week.
I also have big plans this weekend. Tonight is Laundry-gedon....then tomorrow i go to mom and dad's build a pillow fort and don't come out until Sunday night.
Wednesday, September 18, 2013
MOOD SWING
So, last night doing absolutely nothing, my back spasmed and now i am in major pain and i also walk like a crazy person. I hate this....i hate this sooooo much.....i was making so much progress and now i feel like i have failed.
I am my back is a combination of an already weak back, stress, and the limping and unbalanced leg stuff. Now i am working to get better and i am doing my exercises but it seems like it isn't helping. And with work being INSANE right now...i am crazy stressed. I need to learn how to better deal with this. I think i am going to find someone to talk to who can help me deal with this stress, i am unhappy at work, i don't want to be, i still love my company but one bad apple is driving me out. I am like inches from finding a new job. I don't have the energy anymore to stay above it all. I don't know how to go back to rising above it. It is like i have forgotten how to keep myself separated from all the negative stuff that happens. I use to be so good at staying out of the negative and staying happy.
So....how do i find someone to talk to, someone who can teach me coping techniques. The worst part is a get so mad at myself for getting pulled into these things. It makes me look bad. I pride myself on being good at my job...at having a reputation of being someone you can come to for answers and being pivotal to helping everything flow smoothly.
But i currently feel like one giant raw nerve that is minutes from either balling or flipping a table. So, finding someone to talk to is important. But i don't know where to start. Where to go looking for a person?
All i know is i can't continue on as is. and i keep promising myself i am going to remain positive and remain above all the drama but it is all talk or has been so far because i say it and then two seconds later, i am complaining about everything. It is like i have been infected with a negative virus.
I am going to get a massage at lunch, there is a place in the bottom of my building at work...i am going to make them fix my back or i hope they will fix my back. I will keep you posted.
I am my back is a combination of an already weak back, stress, and the limping and unbalanced leg stuff. Now i am working to get better and i am doing my exercises but it seems like it isn't helping. And with work being INSANE right now...i am crazy stressed. I need to learn how to better deal with this. I think i am going to find someone to talk to who can help me deal with this stress, i am unhappy at work, i don't want to be, i still love my company but one bad apple is driving me out. I am like inches from finding a new job. I don't have the energy anymore to stay above it all. I don't know how to go back to rising above it. It is like i have forgotten how to keep myself separated from all the negative stuff that happens. I use to be so good at staying out of the negative and staying happy.
So....how do i find someone to talk to, someone who can teach me coping techniques. The worst part is a get so mad at myself for getting pulled into these things. It makes me look bad. I pride myself on being good at my job...at having a reputation of being someone you can come to for answers and being pivotal to helping everything flow smoothly.
But i currently feel like one giant raw nerve that is minutes from either balling or flipping a table. So, finding someone to talk to is important. But i don't know where to start. Where to go looking for a person?
All i know is i can't continue on as is. and i keep promising myself i am going to remain positive and remain above all the drama but it is all talk or has been so far because i say it and then two seconds later, i am complaining about everything. It is like i have been infected with a negative virus.
I am going to get a massage at lunch, there is a place in the bottom of my building at work...i am going to make them fix my back or i hope they will fix my back. I will keep you posted.
Monday, September 16, 2013
Function over Fashion = Sadface
So i had my first physio appointment post cane and shoe freedom. And it was painful. Due to the craziness of my week, i didn't get to do my exercises for a few days.....that plus the sneaker wedges = Backsliding and pain.
So here is what i have learned, if i don't do my physio exercises religiously then i backslide. I tighten up and i start really limping again. So no matter what i do, i have to spend time doing the exercises.
I spent the weekend running around. Saturday was Alex's baby shower. It was awesome to see everyone although it was a long car ride. Then back to mom and dad's for cat time. But on the way home i convinced andrea to stop at michael's for some craft supplies. I am currently obsessed with making rings. You can buy ring forms then superglue anything you want to it. It is super awesome. I also got apoxy resin and these metal bottle caps that i can fill then i am going to make like shadow boxes in the bottle caps i just need to decide what to put in the bottle caps, words, pictures, beads, sparkles. There are lots of options. I may wait to do that on the weekend at mom and dad's because my apartment is very small and very cat haired and you are suppose to do resin in a dust free environment. I can't wait to try it.
Sunday we went to steph's house and did chores. Then i came home and finally cleaned my kitchen. I needed the cleaning juices to start flowing before i tackled my apartment...and helping at steph's jump started them and i was able to get pretty far on my own place. I am going to try to keep things moving forward and preemptively do laundry tonight.
The only drawback of this weekend was after an insane and busy week at work....all i crave is a lazy weekend on my butt but that's okay...that is what i have next weekend for. And now that both baby blankets are done, i can get back to making christmas presents. I am going to try to make a lot of my presents this year.....although i wanted to get kelly a big skull candle. I think i can make one, i just need to find a mold. Now....where to find a giant skull candle mold......TO THE INTERNET!
So here is what i have learned, if i don't do my physio exercises religiously then i backslide. I tighten up and i start really limping again. So no matter what i do, i have to spend time doing the exercises.
I spent the weekend running around. Saturday was Alex's baby shower. It was awesome to see everyone although it was a long car ride. Then back to mom and dad's for cat time. But on the way home i convinced andrea to stop at michael's for some craft supplies. I am currently obsessed with making rings. You can buy ring forms then superglue anything you want to it. It is super awesome. I also got apoxy resin and these metal bottle caps that i can fill then i am going to make like shadow boxes in the bottle caps i just need to decide what to put in the bottle caps, words, pictures, beads, sparkles. There are lots of options. I may wait to do that on the weekend at mom and dad's because my apartment is very small and very cat haired and you are suppose to do resin in a dust free environment. I can't wait to try it.
Sunday we went to steph's house and did chores. Then i came home and finally cleaned my kitchen. I needed the cleaning juices to start flowing before i tackled my apartment...and helping at steph's jump started them and i was able to get pretty far on my own place. I am going to try to keep things moving forward and preemptively do laundry tonight.
The only drawback of this weekend was after an insane and busy week at work....all i crave is a lazy weekend on my butt but that's okay...that is what i have next weekend for. And now that both baby blankets are done, i can get back to making christmas presents. I am going to try to make a lot of my presents this year.....although i wanted to get kelly a big skull candle. I think i can make one, i just need to find a mold. Now....where to find a giant skull candle mold......TO THE INTERNET!
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
Fake it until I make it?????
So in all the excitment of being able to wear shoes that match my outfits. I don't think i can stress enough how annoying it was wearing running shoes with all my pretty work outfits. Nothing ruins an outfit faster than the wrong shoes.
Anyways.....in all this shoe excitment, i have forgotten one key factor. My foot is still slightly swelly and not of my shoes fit perfectly. Also, i am not 100% yet so when i act like i am 100%, my foot reminds me that i am pushing it.
The only shoes that i have been comfortable in for long periods of walking are my converse. The sneaker wedges come second...my flats are completely out due to the swelling. I wore them on monday and my feet rejected them so much that i declared it a no shoe day and walked around the office barefoot. I wore the sneaker wedges yesterday and they lasted about 2/3's of the day before i started to limp. Today i decided i would wear my awesome studded motorcycle boots because i am wearing an adorable dress, and the boots work so well to contrast the dress. but two steps out of the door and i could tell that they were slightly too loose for good walking support. But i powered forward. Now that i am at work, i am wondering do i go back to the comfort of sneaker wedges or do the big boots?
Anyways.....in all this shoe excitment, i have forgotten one key factor. My foot is still slightly swelly and not of my shoes fit perfectly. Also, i am not 100% yet so when i act like i am 100%, my foot reminds me that i am pushing it.
The only shoes that i have been comfortable in for long periods of walking are my converse. The sneaker wedges come second...my flats are completely out due to the swelling. I wore them on monday and my feet rejected them so much that i declared it a no shoe day and walked around the office barefoot. I wore the sneaker wedges yesterday and they lasted about 2/3's of the day before i started to limp. Today i decided i would wear my awesome studded motorcycle boots because i am wearing an adorable dress, and the boots work so well to contrast the dress. but two steps out of the door and i could tell that they were slightly too loose for good walking support. But i powered forward. Now that i am at work, i am wondering do i go back to the comfort of sneaker wedges or do the big boots?
Monday, September 9, 2013
The art of Zen
So, i maintained my positivity through friday into saturday. So i feel like i am on the right track. I am not letting the negative take me down. Although so far, today is a struggle. There is one thing that drives me crazier than anything and it is nitpicking. There has been some nitpicking today and it makes me want to say 'thanks so much, i am a moron and wouldn't have figured that out' but BUT....i am not suppose to give into anger and negativity. So deep breaths and focus on doing a great job and not letting anything get you down.
I need some tea. The tea brings the calm. The calm brings the clarity, and the clarity brings the zen. I need to try meditating but i am not good enough with it yet to have it carry me through the stressful parts.
I need some tea. The tea brings the calm. The calm brings the clarity, and the clarity brings the zen. I need to try meditating but i am not good enough with it yet to have it carry me through the stressful parts.
Friday, September 6, 2013
Freedom
My fresh start is in an upward trajectory. I have signed up for this website where i am suppose to log my food (i have logged one sandwich so far, so it's not a complete success. I also have yet to eat three full meals in a day...i have mastered two meals a day which was better than my previous record, 0 - 1 meal a day). I am proud to say i am now cane free and i am allowed to wear my choice of shoes. Of course my choice is sneaker wedges. Don't worry, i asked Matt if sneaker wedges were included in my choice of shoes....he said yes. I am wearing them right NOW!
I want to keep this positivity surrounding me. I am going to fight very hard to not let negativity in. That is my promise to myself. That means, no more venting, no more complaining. Just deep breaths and focus on the good. I feel like my negativity feeds my anger and that i am stuck in a downward spiral of anger and negativeness. I know i have said this before....i know that i have made this promise to myself. But i have to let things go....for my own sanity and happiness. I can't control the things and people around me but i can control my response to those outside stressers. I have been letting their stress and negativity affect me and bring me down. What i need to do is project outward vibes of positivity and calmness. You know that saying Like attracts Like. Well i don't like what i am attracting right now.
So, my promise to you....blog world.....is to try and remain calm and positive and always look at the bright side. I will not allow the negative to pull me back down. If it starts to happen...i will excuse myself to the bathroom and take a deep breath and make a plan.
I want to keep this positivity surrounding me. I am going to fight very hard to not let negativity in. That is my promise to myself. That means, no more venting, no more complaining. Just deep breaths and focus on the good. I feel like my negativity feeds my anger and that i am stuck in a downward spiral of anger and negativeness. I know i have said this before....i know that i have made this promise to myself. But i have to let things go....for my own sanity and happiness. I can't control the things and people around me but i can control my response to those outside stressers. I have been letting their stress and negativity affect me and bring me down. What i need to do is project outward vibes of positivity and calmness. You know that saying Like attracts Like. Well i don't like what i am attracting right now.
So, my promise to you....blog world.....is to try and remain calm and positive and always look at the bright side. I will not allow the negative to pull me back down. If it starts to happen...i will excuse myself to the bathroom and take a deep breath and make a plan.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Fresh Start
So....i have been feeling low and eating my feelings a lot. And some believe that the bad eating is the reason i am feeling so low. I am sure that is it. I do have some irrational anger that doesn't make sense, and no matter how much i sleep, i am still exhausted. Today the circles under my eyes are crazy big, and i went to sleep at like 11 last night and got up at like 7:30 today.
I need a reboot, and starting today, it is reboot day. I am going to try to go to yoga tomorrow or thursday and healthy eating is my goal. I need to get organized and i need to focus. I want to get better, i want to be happy. But it seems like every time i say that, i get disappointed again.
I am jealous of everyone who is doing better, who is happy. I don't want to begrudge anyone their happiness, everyone deserves it. But how come I can't get there. Ryan asked me a few weeks ago, what do i want to be? Simple answer....i want to be happy. Content with my life, satisfied that i am being the best version of myself, i am being true to who i am, and i am putting out into the world what i want to get back. It is kind of a simple concept, but i find it the hardest thing in the world.
I have finally got the confidence to be who i am, and be happy with that. But that is only part of the puzzle. There's work, i love my company and believe a hundred percent in the work but my current job is frustrating me and i feel like it is holding me back.
Relationships....that topic could turn into a whole separate post. But to put it at it's most basic level. I am terrified of forming that connection with another person...letting them in and being vulnerable with them....risking it. I run at the first possible chance to run. I have always said that when i meet the right someone, i won't want to run. But i am not so sure anymore. I think i haven't let myself love anyone because, when i give it, i know i won't ever be able to stop. I love my family to distraction, they come first no matter what. If/when i finally fall in love with a guy, i am assuming i will be the same. And my past history of guy choices have been monumentally horrible, i have been cheated on and tossed aside, i have never been number one for any of the guys i have dated. I think it is time for a change and think outside of the box. Try looking at different guys that my normal type of douche bag.
But before i do any of that. I have to stop being so angry at the world. So as i finally get clearance for working out, Andrea thinks i need to focus on my eating habits. I am debating scheduling an appointment with a nutritionist because i have never had good eating habits and i have no idea where to start. I have also found a self help book i want to read.
Big changes don't happen over night but i figure i have to start somewhere. And if i don't start now, i may never start and become a very angry lonely person. I don't want that. I want to be Happy.
I need a reboot, and starting today, it is reboot day. I am going to try to go to yoga tomorrow or thursday and healthy eating is my goal. I need to get organized and i need to focus. I want to get better, i want to be happy. But it seems like every time i say that, i get disappointed again.
I am jealous of everyone who is doing better, who is happy. I don't want to begrudge anyone their happiness, everyone deserves it. But how come I can't get there. Ryan asked me a few weeks ago, what do i want to be? Simple answer....i want to be happy. Content with my life, satisfied that i am being the best version of myself, i am being true to who i am, and i am putting out into the world what i want to get back. It is kind of a simple concept, but i find it the hardest thing in the world.
I have finally got the confidence to be who i am, and be happy with that. But that is only part of the puzzle. There's work, i love my company and believe a hundred percent in the work but my current job is frustrating me and i feel like it is holding me back.
Relationships....that topic could turn into a whole separate post. But to put it at it's most basic level. I am terrified of forming that connection with another person...letting them in and being vulnerable with them....risking it. I run at the first possible chance to run. I have always said that when i meet the right someone, i won't want to run. But i am not so sure anymore. I think i haven't let myself love anyone because, when i give it, i know i won't ever be able to stop. I love my family to distraction, they come first no matter what. If/when i finally fall in love with a guy, i am assuming i will be the same. And my past history of guy choices have been monumentally horrible, i have been cheated on and tossed aside, i have never been number one for any of the guys i have dated. I think it is time for a change and think outside of the box. Try looking at different guys that my normal type of douche bag.
But before i do any of that. I have to stop being so angry at the world. So as i finally get clearance for working out, Andrea thinks i need to focus on my eating habits. I am debating scheduling an appointment with a nutritionist because i have never had good eating habits and i have no idea where to start. I have also found a self help book i want to read.
Big changes don't happen over night but i figure i have to start somewhere. And if i don't start now, i may never start and become a very angry lonely person. I don't want that. I want to be Happy.
Friday, August 30, 2013
Food Truck Excitment
Tuesday night i was watching Eat Street and they had a toronto food truck. I got so excited, i immediately followed them on twitter. Then the next day, i was checking my twitter and guess what, they were parked almost immediately across from work. It was a sign from the food gods....You must eat there, it is your destiny.
So, me and some friends from work went, there were 4 trucks and we got food at 3 of them, pulled pork sandwich, a bacon burger, churros, and this thing called a nutella bomb (it was banana bread stuffed with nutella and then deep fried).
It was amazing.....i love food trucks. So much fun.
Then that night, i had all you can eat sushi with my friend Kathryn who is moving back to Boston (it is great for her but sad for me)
So Wednesday was the day of Eating for me and i ate myself to a DARK PLACE.
Thursday, i had physio and guess who is cleared for yoga. Matt actually found a yoga studio and explained my injuries and made sure they would be able to provide modifications that will be safe for my injury. Look out exercise...i'm back. I am so excited!!!!
Then i met up with my co-workers and we went out for fun times and drinks, which ended with me and jordan getting slurpees and shopping at BMV....it is open until 11pm. Which is amazing because that means you can buy books late into the night.
But that did mean it was a late night and i haven't seen rookie blue yet and i overslept this morning. i also am incredibly tired. I have been drinking black tea all day to keep me pepped up.
So it is the last long weekend of the summer. Normally i do a lot of pj's and tv watching and completely zone out because when campaign starts up....i literally have zero time to chill. but this weekend, i have so much stuff on my plate...two lunches, and mom is having a pool party....plus a friend's party tonight &/or tomorrow night. I am hoping to get to both but as of right now...i am asleep at my desk minutes away from falling asleep. I don't know if i will make it for tonight's party. hopefully tomorrow.
So, me and some friends from work went, there were 4 trucks and we got food at 3 of them, pulled pork sandwich, a bacon burger, churros, and this thing called a nutella bomb (it was banana bread stuffed with nutella and then deep fried).
It was amazing.....i love food trucks. So much fun.
Then that night, i had all you can eat sushi with my friend Kathryn who is moving back to Boston (it is great for her but sad for me)
So Wednesday was the day of Eating for me and i ate myself to a DARK PLACE.
Thursday, i had physio and guess who is cleared for yoga. Matt actually found a yoga studio and explained my injuries and made sure they would be able to provide modifications that will be safe for my injury. Look out exercise...i'm back. I am so excited!!!!
Then i met up with my co-workers and we went out for fun times and drinks, which ended with me and jordan getting slurpees and shopping at BMV....it is open until 11pm. Which is amazing because that means you can buy books late into the night.
But that did mean it was a late night and i haven't seen rookie blue yet and i overslept this morning. i also am incredibly tired. I have been drinking black tea all day to keep me pepped up.
So it is the last long weekend of the summer. Normally i do a lot of pj's and tv watching and completely zone out because when campaign starts up....i literally have zero time to chill. but this weekend, i have so much stuff on my plate...two lunches, and mom is having a pool party....plus a friend's party tonight &/or tomorrow night. I am hoping to get to both but as of right now...i am asleep at my desk minutes away from falling asleep. I don't know if i will make it for tonight's party. hopefully tomorrow.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Last week of summer
So this is the last week of summer and i haven't crossed very many things off the summer bucket list. Although after i broke my ankle, certain things got crossed off because of my movement being restricted.
So what did i do that i wanted to do this summer:
High tea - it was awesome, and i think i was made for high tea....i want to do it more, like all the time...i want to be the queen of high tea, and wear fancy dresses and eat fancy desserts. Although i guess the specialness would wear off if i did high tea all the time. So i will just drink regular tea most of the time and do high tea for special occasions.
Beach - this one is always on my summer bucket list and i have never been very successful at achieving a bunch of beach days in the summer. We were on track this year with our plan to beach it up in Kincardine but due to a broken ankle and some crutches i didn't not feel beach ready during our Kincardine trip. But the plan is on for next year. And i did finally get to the beach on friday. We went to Coburg beach, i am sure it isn't called that but it was a gorgeous beach....big and sandy, and a nice smooth walk out, no rocks to kill your feet and no unexpected holes or deep spots.
Shopping - I got to get my shopping fill in Montreal, actually i wasn't too excited about the trip because it seemed very quick and hectic, so i thought it would be very stressful but it wasn't at all. I had a great time, i got to see two of my favourite people (Ryan & Alex), i got to shop, and i got to take business class home. I am really glad i didn't bail on the trip.
Pedicures with Amy - I have been angry at my feet ever since i broke the ankle. The toenails were getting way too long, the foot was dry and scaley. The feet just weren't pretty anymore, not that my feet were ever super attractive but getting pedicures with Amy made my feet feel just a little bit more human. In fact i want to go one last time before the summer is over.
Those are my three big things i accomplished this summer. There was more i wanted to do, a buffalo trip with mom, a day at the spa, train for the marathon me and tak were going to run in October. But none of those things happened. But at least i got the three big ones accomplished!
So what did i do that i wanted to do this summer:
High tea - it was awesome, and i think i was made for high tea....i want to do it more, like all the time...i want to be the queen of high tea, and wear fancy dresses and eat fancy desserts. Although i guess the specialness would wear off if i did high tea all the time. So i will just drink regular tea most of the time and do high tea for special occasions.
Beach - this one is always on my summer bucket list and i have never been very successful at achieving a bunch of beach days in the summer. We were on track this year with our plan to beach it up in Kincardine but due to a broken ankle and some crutches i didn't not feel beach ready during our Kincardine trip. But the plan is on for next year. And i did finally get to the beach on friday. We went to Coburg beach, i am sure it isn't called that but it was a gorgeous beach....big and sandy, and a nice smooth walk out, no rocks to kill your feet and no unexpected holes or deep spots.
Shopping - I got to get my shopping fill in Montreal, actually i wasn't too excited about the trip because it seemed very quick and hectic, so i thought it would be very stressful but it wasn't at all. I had a great time, i got to see two of my favourite people (Ryan & Alex), i got to shop, and i got to take business class home. I am really glad i didn't bail on the trip.
Pedicures with Amy - I have been angry at my feet ever since i broke the ankle. The toenails were getting way too long, the foot was dry and scaley. The feet just weren't pretty anymore, not that my feet were ever super attractive but getting pedicures with Amy made my feet feel just a little bit more human. In fact i want to go one last time before the summer is over.
Those are my three big things i accomplished this summer. There was more i wanted to do, a buffalo trip with mom, a day at the spa, train for the marathon me and tak were going to run in October. But none of those things happened. But at least i got the three big ones accomplished!
Monday, August 26, 2013
Why can't we just not work at all?
My weekend was awesome. And i really wish i didn't have to go back to work. I am still having some issues about work...aka not wanting to be here. Which is a major warning sign that something is wrong. I normally love my job and i am very happy. So i have to look into that.
But i don't want to talk about depressing things....I went to the beach on friday with andrea and crew. It was amazing. It was on my bucket list of things to do this summer. I may have had to cancel almost all of my plans this summer and manage my disappointment of the Summer of Suck. But i made it to the beach. It was a great day...one of my favourites of the summer. Braydon even told me that when i grow up, before i get married, i can live with him. Isn't that nice.....braydon has just agreed to take care of me in my old age.
Saturday was a pool day, i got to swim again, the swimming feels nice on my ankle, i also had dad help me spray paint my cane. Then i had a movie night with andrea and the kids. It was a very Andrea and the Kids filled weekend which was the best because i feel like i don't see any of them enough.
Sunday was High Tea day. Me and Tak have been talking about going for high tea for so long and we were going to go for my birthday but we had to post pone. So sunday was the day. We went to the Park Hyatt and enjoyed tea and finger sandwiches, and scones, and other delicious treats. I personally would forget about the finger sandwiches and just go for extra of the sweet treats. But it was a great time, i have never gone for high tea before and i really think it suits me. I am meant for high tea.....it is the perfect match for me.
So, now it is monday and i am back at work.....i told matt on thursday that i need exercise and i need it fast, i think it is one of the things that helps me survive the stress of work. Without any outlet....i am up frustration creek. I need to find other ways to manage my stress now that i am not cleared for exercise. Also i have been eating EVERYTHING in sight because i am eating my feelings so i am turning into a major fatty. I am always been plump but now i am a fatty and i am not okay with that. Things need to get back to normal. I want to be able to walk normally, i want to ditch my cane....no matter how much i paint it, i can't love it. I want to be able to work out, i want to not be so grumpy and frustrated at everything. I was so annoyed with people going through union on friday night that i almost hit four people with my cane...ON PURPOSE. That is not like me at all. I think i am still broken but this time in spirit. And i don't know how to fix it.
But i don't want to talk about depressing things....I went to the beach on friday with andrea and crew. It was amazing. It was on my bucket list of things to do this summer. I may have had to cancel almost all of my plans this summer and manage my disappointment of the Summer of Suck. But i made it to the beach. It was a great day...one of my favourites of the summer. Braydon even told me that when i grow up, before i get married, i can live with him. Isn't that nice.....braydon has just agreed to take care of me in my old age.
Saturday was a pool day, i got to swim again, the swimming feels nice on my ankle, i also had dad help me spray paint my cane. Then i had a movie night with andrea and the kids. It was a very Andrea and the Kids filled weekend which was the best because i feel like i don't see any of them enough.
Sunday was High Tea day. Me and Tak have been talking about going for high tea for so long and we were going to go for my birthday but we had to post pone. So sunday was the day. We went to the Park Hyatt and enjoyed tea and finger sandwiches, and scones, and other delicious treats. I personally would forget about the finger sandwiches and just go for extra of the sweet treats. But it was a great time, i have never gone for high tea before and i really think it suits me. I am meant for high tea.....it is the perfect match for me.
So, now it is monday and i am back at work.....i told matt on thursday that i need exercise and i need it fast, i think it is one of the things that helps me survive the stress of work. Without any outlet....i am up frustration creek. I need to find other ways to manage my stress now that i am not cleared for exercise. Also i have been eating EVERYTHING in sight because i am eating my feelings so i am turning into a major fatty. I am always been plump but now i am a fatty and i am not okay with that. Things need to get back to normal. I want to be able to walk normally, i want to ditch my cane....no matter how much i paint it, i can't love it. I want to be able to work out, i want to not be so grumpy and frustrated at everything. I was so annoyed with people going through union on friday night that i almost hit four people with my cane...ON PURPOSE. That is not like me at all. I think i am still broken but this time in spirit. And i don't know how to fix it.
Tuesday, August 20, 2013
Montreal
So, it was a quick trip. over before it really even got going. But it the first set of plans that i didn't cancel or modify this summer. Although i didn't get to run the colour run, it looked like fun, alex and ryan came back all coloury. And i was jealous. and they said it didn't clean over very well...that means you get to be a rainbow longer. I wouldn't mind that.
So on the train there, i sat beside this guy who had brought so much food (he worked for a grocery store he told me) and couldn't eat it all so he gave me some fancy chocolate covered mangos....but worried for my safety, ie...i don't know this guy and he could have drugged something, i didn't eat it, but brought it to the hotel and ryan tried them first.
I got lots of shopping in. I love simons. It is my kind of store. It is a mix between H&M but less snobby and forever 21 but better quality.
So you probably all want to know what i bought...i bought all of this:
So on the train there, i sat beside this guy who had brought so much food (he worked for a grocery store he told me) and couldn't eat it all so he gave me some fancy chocolate covered mangos....but worried for my safety, ie...i don't know this guy and he could have drugged something, i didn't eat it, but brought it to the hotel and ryan tried them first.
I got lots of shopping in. I love simons. It is my kind of store. It is a mix between H&M but less snobby and forever 21 but better quality.
So you probably all want to know what i bought...i bought all of this:
I also bought some flowered jeans, but i can't find them on the simons website so i will have to show you guys later.
I really enjoyed seeing alex and ryan, i miss them and wish i could see them more. But you know me...i like to keep everyone close to me.
I took business class home and it was awesome....i know i am easily impressed but dude it was super cool. They fed me and i got two whole seats to myself, and they had curtains to shut the sun out so you can sleep or whatever. I may always travel business class from now on.....well not really because i am cheap so train to kingston i will stick with steerage aka regular class...and longer trips where my butt is going to go numb and i am going to go stir crazy...business class.
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
I am starting to worry
The blues aren't going away. I am starting to worry it is a permanent state of being and that isn't like me. I am starting to get restless....and you know what that means. I need a change and i need it soon. I am 33 now. and according to some british study this is suppose to be the best year of your life because you are old enough to not really care about what people think and you are young enough to not have too many responsibilities yet. So 15 days into being 33....and i got to say, so far, it is not awesome. I feel like i am failing my potential.
Maybe i am just overly emotional today.
Maybe i am just overly emotional today.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Ugh
I don't want to be here today. I have known since friday today was going to be a rough day. I won the sock lottery today and i am still positive today is going to suck the big one....I have movie tickets to see Serenity on the big screen today. There is a special one time screening tonight as part of the summer season or something like that. That should make me ecstatic...like seriously i should be bouncing out of my seat and i am not.
I don't like to complain about work on this blog because this is not the forum for that...this is my own personal blog, about me and my personal life and thoughts. I like keeping work out of it. So i won't complain here but i will say, I am tired....so tired and it hasn't even started yet. I really don't know how i am going to survive the fall.
I dedicate a lot of my energy to work but lately i have had to divide my focus between work and recovery. I know i should focus on work but my number one goal right now is getting healthy and being able to walk again.
Okay enough whining....everything will work out. I am sure of it.
I really love my nail polish today. I got this new blue for my birthday (from me) and it is a great blue...really rich and i painted tiny pink hearts on the fingers, not all of them, just one heart per hand....but the neon pink i used really pops against the blue. I am very happy with it.
I didn't do much this weekend, it was my first weekend without the boot....i am sore. It doesn't hurt right away to walk on my foot but if i am walking long distances it starts to hurt near the end. With the subway out, there wasn't many places for me to go, so i stayed home and did my physio exercises and iced it. On sunday i decided to brave the world and go for a walk. I walked to the post office. My package arrived on friday! So, i decided it would be good practice to walk over there...of course with my crutches...i can't wait for that cane. I got my new purse and it is awesome. I love it.
I also made iced teas all weekend with my new steeper. It is like the best thing ever invented. I love it!!!
I don't like to complain about work on this blog because this is not the forum for that...this is my own personal blog, about me and my personal life and thoughts. I like keeping work out of it. So i won't complain here but i will say, I am tired....so tired and it hasn't even started yet. I really don't know how i am going to survive the fall.
I dedicate a lot of my energy to work but lately i have had to divide my focus between work and recovery. I know i should focus on work but my number one goal right now is getting healthy and being able to walk again.
Okay enough whining....everything will work out. I am sure of it.
I really love my nail polish today. I got this new blue for my birthday (from me) and it is a great blue...really rich and i painted tiny pink hearts on the fingers, not all of them, just one heart per hand....but the neon pink i used really pops against the blue. I am very happy with it.
I didn't do much this weekend, it was my first weekend without the boot....i am sore. It doesn't hurt right away to walk on my foot but if i am walking long distances it starts to hurt near the end. With the subway out, there wasn't many places for me to go, so i stayed home and did my physio exercises and iced it. On sunday i decided to brave the world and go for a walk. I walked to the post office. My package arrived on friday! So, i decided it would be good practice to walk over there...of course with my crutches...i can't wait for that cane. I got my new purse and it is awesome. I love it.
I also made iced teas all weekend with my new steeper. It is like the best thing ever invented. I love it!!!
Friday, August 9, 2013
So things are Looking.....
I don't want to say up because i am very superstitious...especially since i had all those accidents and illness all condensed together in a very SHORT period of time. It felt very curse-like.....i must have broke a chain letter or something. So now...i will not say things are coming up Erin because.....that seems like i am going to immediately curse myself.
BUT.....i have very good news.
I am been released from my boot. So i officially have no cast any more. I still have crutches but....if this week goes well without the boot on the crutches then i could get a cane my next appointment which would be great timing because i am getting on a train Friday and heading to Montreal. Although i am still bitter that i can't do the colour run.....the only run i have EVER voluntarily wanted to run.....i am going because Ryan and Alex want me to cheer them on. Plus.....i can do some shopping at Simon's.
In other good news....I say it and it happens, meaning, i posted all those things i wanted on Wednesday...and Amy awesomely bought me the steeper from David's. WOOT. And The bay stuff being on sale, Andrea nicely bought me the Bay City tote...(i may have also bought myself a bay fleece blanket) I may have a problem because i just love the bay strips and now have a lot of bay striped merchandise. So yay....city tote and steeper. Woot!
I can't wait to make some iced tea!
So this weekend, i may be stranded at home because the subway is out from st. george to bloor. The whole loop is closed for Signal replacement. Which means i would have to rely on other forms of ttc transportation which although i am sure are nice, cause me great nervousness because 1) you have those big steps up...which i am not cool with because stairs as you know are one of my new nemesis' and 2) smaller spaces, more people....less chance of getting a seat, more stop and go which is tougher to balance, and someone is bound to either kick my foot or step on my foot due to the close quarters.
So i am not sure if i want to brave the bus or streetcar.
But i do really want to go see Amy and Austin and go swimming at my parents. So we will see how brave i feel tomorrow.
BUT.....i have very good news.
I am been released from my boot. So i officially have no cast any more. I still have crutches but....if this week goes well without the boot on the crutches then i could get a cane my next appointment which would be great timing because i am getting on a train Friday and heading to Montreal. Although i am still bitter that i can't do the colour run.....the only run i have EVER voluntarily wanted to run.....i am going because Ryan and Alex want me to cheer them on. Plus.....i can do some shopping at Simon's.
In other good news....I say it and it happens, meaning, i posted all those things i wanted on Wednesday...and Amy awesomely bought me the steeper from David's. WOOT. And The bay stuff being on sale, Andrea nicely bought me the Bay City tote...(i may have also bought myself a bay fleece blanket) I may have a problem because i just love the bay strips and now have a lot of bay striped merchandise. So yay....city tote and steeper. Woot!
I can't wait to make some iced tea!
So this weekend, i may be stranded at home because the subway is out from st. george to bloor. The whole loop is closed for Signal replacement. Which means i would have to rely on other forms of ttc transportation which although i am sure are nice, cause me great nervousness because 1) you have those big steps up...which i am not cool with because stairs as you know are one of my new nemesis' and 2) smaller spaces, more people....less chance of getting a seat, more stop and go which is tougher to balance, and someone is bound to either kick my foot or step on my foot due to the close quarters.
So i am not sure if i want to brave the bus or streetcar.
But i do really want to go see Amy and Austin and go swimming at my parents. So we will see how brave i feel tomorrow.
Wednesday, August 7, 2013
I want
So.....i haven't done too much shopping this summer. I have kept it really low key. A few dresses from target, and a new back pack. Oh i did get myself a birthday outfit....on par with my level of caring right now...a pair of summer sweats (they are thin and light) and a zip up hoodie.
I have thought about it...and i have really stopped caring. No make up...i haven't done anything fun with my hair in months. It is currently way WAY too long at mid-back level.
So here are some things i want:
and this (it's on sale):
Or this:
I have also decided i want some ridiculous sneaker wedges. I don't know why...i just do. I think it is because i have been wearing the same shoe for 2 and a half months. Just the one. Now all i can think about are other shoes i can wear.
Most of all i want this:
I have wanted one of these chairs for like ever. I really really want one. I can get rid of my old couch and get that chair and life would be perfect....well until the next thing i really need.
I have thought about it...and i have really stopped caring. No make up...i haven't done anything fun with my hair in months. It is currently way WAY too long at mid-back level.
So here are some things i want:
and this (it's on sale):
Or this:
I have also decided i want some ridiculous sneaker wedges. I don't know why...i just do. I think it is because i have been wearing the same shoe for 2 and a half months. Just the one. Now all i can think about are other shoes i can wear.
Most of all i want this:
I have wanted one of these chairs for like ever. I really really want one. I can get rid of my old couch and get that chair and life would be perfect....well until the next thing i really need.
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
Countryfied
So, a long long time ago pre-broken ankle or PBA for short, me and kelly talked about going up to Kincardine to visit her sister and spend two days doing nothing but beaching. It was a great idea until BA...then it sucked and everything sucked and the world became narrow and inaccessible. But Kelly pushed forward and dragged my butt to Kincardine with the promise of a trip to the drive-in. She rented a fancy car and we got to eat food in the car...and not just simple snacks we packed but like drive through food. Plus when we got there....there was a great dane and a tiny black kitty. I got lots of hugs in....i also really enjoyed how stoic Reese the great dane was...she handled my hugs with calm resigned acceptance.
On saturday, we drove around and they showed me all the beaches i could have enjoyed from the car. That is the weird thing about the country.....there is like nothing but space....wide open space. You would see nothing for miles....and all i thought was....dude if this were a horror film.....i mean it practically writes itself...two city girls on a trip to the country for a visit....one mobile-ly challenged. I really am a weirdo if my first thought when we hit all that open space is how horror-story it is. I wouldn't last as a country girl. Although small towns have their appeal, and if mom and dad never moved out of kingston, i doubt i would have. I tend to stick close to the family unit. I am and always will be a home-body with my roots firmly planted. I don't have that wanderlust people talk about.
Anyways the most exciting thing was the drive in on saturday night. The movies themselves were horrible. I can't stress that enough. In normal circumstances i would never pay to see these movies but DRIVE IN. Dad told me when i got back from this weekend, that they did take me to the drive in when i was little...but i don't remember it and he can't remember what movie or how old i was....so the story is suspect. Anyways, we brought our own food, and it was like having our own private showing....and at one point...i put my foot out the window in an effort to get more comfortable. It was so much fun. Now i really want to do a dusk till dawn showing. 4 movies in a row. Drive-ins are the coolest. Especially the people that came in trucks because they sat in the truck bed all cozy...can you imagine....turn your truck bed into an actual bed and you can cozy in and watch movies outside. Then driving home from the drive in....there were like no street lights, it was so dark...like crazy town dark. Super creepy...it felt like you were the only one around for MILES.
Sunday we drove home....back to city life, where...even in the middle of the night, there are still lights on somewhere. It is never fully dark in the city and i like it.
For the rest of the weekend, sunday afternoon and monday, i spent it sleeping, elevating my foot and doing my physio exercises. I am getting good at just standing equal weight on both feet but walking is still not great and my achilles is crazy tight, and i still experience lots of pain. More than when it was just healing the break. It is actually more painful now that i am using it. It throbs and swells and is super tight which makes all the exercises very painful. I know i am making great progress but i am still on crutches, long distances still suck the big one...i still move at the speed of a snail, which is frustrating. I want to be more mobile. I want to be free of my boot, i want to be graduated to a cane. But all that takes time.....stupid time...August is a wasting!
On saturday, we drove around and they showed me all the beaches i could have enjoyed from the car. That is the weird thing about the country.....there is like nothing but space....wide open space. You would see nothing for miles....and all i thought was....dude if this were a horror film.....i mean it practically writes itself...two city girls on a trip to the country for a visit....one mobile-ly challenged. I really am a weirdo if my first thought when we hit all that open space is how horror-story it is. I wouldn't last as a country girl. Although small towns have their appeal, and if mom and dad never moved out of kingston, i doubt i would have. I tend to stick close to the family unit. I am and always will be a home-body with my roots firmly planted. I don't have that wanderlust people talk about.
Anyways the most exciting thing was the drive in on saturday night. The movies themselves were horrible. I can't stress that enough. In normal circumstances i would never pay to see these movies but DRIVE IN. Dad told me when i got back from this weekend, that they did take me to the drive in when i was little...but i don't remember it and he can't remember what movie or how old i was....so the story is suspect. Anyways, we brought our own food, and it was like having our own private showing....and at one point...i put my foot out the window in an effort to get more comfortable. It was so much fun. Now i really want to do a dusk till dawn showing. 4 movies in a row. Drive-ins are the coolest. Especially the people that came in trucks because they sat in the truck bed all cozy...can you imagine....turn your truck bed into an actual bed and you can cozy in and watch movies outside. Then driving home from the drive in....there were like no street lights, it was so dark...like crazy town dark. Super creepy...it felt like you were the only one around for MILES.
Sunday we drove home....back to city life, where...even in the middle of the night, there are still lights on somewhere. It is never fully dark in the city and i like it.
For the rest of the weekend, sunday afternoon and monday, i spent it sleeping, elevating my foot and doing my physio exercises. I am getting good at just standing equal weight on both feet but walking is still not great and my achilles is crazy tight, and i still experience lots of pain. More than when it was just healing the break. It is actually more painful now that i am using it. It throbs and swells and is super tight which makes all the exercises very painful. I know i am making great progress but i am still on crutches, long distances still suck the big one...i still move at the speed of a snail, which is frustrating. I want to be more mobile. I want to be free of my boot, i want to be graduated to a cane. But all that takes time.....stupid time...August is a wasting!
Thursday, August 1, 2013
The Case of the swelling foot
Matt told me my foot would swell once i started being active and doing the exercises....and i have been doing the exercises since friday. But yesterday was the first day it really swelled and i mean sausage foot swelling. So i spent most of last night icing and trying to do the exercises....it wasn't fun. I have an appointment today so i am going to tell him about how bad the swelling was last night...and see what he recommends.
It has been raining since yesterday which is one of my many nemesis' since i broke my ankle and got stuck with crunches. The rain makes everything slick and i fall down real easy without the rain...add rain and it is not fun at all. So i had to take the long way into the subway yesterday and today i had to wait a bit before i left my apartment because it was raining too much. I was debating taking a cab in but once i got my independence back with the subway....it's hard to justify paying for a cab. Plus i am going to save all my cab money to help me get too or from physio because it is at yonge and spadina which is just slightly too far to walk from work. I have walked back to the subway after my two appointments but it takes me like 20 minutes for something that use to take me like 5. So it is very frustrating. That is another one of my nemesis'......long distances. Why can't everything just be lumped together? Why is everything so far. And stairs....why is everything not very accessible? Most of the subway stations are stairs....and i never really thought about how inaccessible everything is until i needed them to be. And worst of all....shopping is so hard on crutches...you can't carry anything, you can't really maneuver around the racks and aisles...and standing and walking for long periods makes me so tired....i have to sit down a lot. I have barely shopped in the last two months. I have gotten a few fixes in here and there....but i miss it. And i miss being able to sleep in and rush to work. Now i have to get up stupid early and plan my route carefully. I haven't worn my skinny jeans in ages....and i have been eating my feelings. Which is really hard because i can't grocery shop. So if i want to eat my feelings i have to plan it out so i can stop by somewhere on the way home and pick something that fits into my back pack...or i have to order grocery gateway and wait a day....either way, it is very hard to eat your feelings.
Also as strange as this sounds....i miss moving around, i miss working out....not running because it is the evil bitch that did this to me. Stupid running. But the simple fact of going out, meeting up with friends and working out. Worst of all....this broken ankle made me have to cancel the one run that i actually wanted to do. The Colour Run....is not for me. It is a missed connection.
Anyways....that is what i miss and what's new with me.
Wednesday, July 31, 2013
Actively Involved in my Recovery
So, i took a small break to celebrate my birthday as well as the declaration that i am cleared for physio. Now it is not at all what i expected. I assumed the doctor would declare me fully healed and send me to physio where i would be transfered to a cane and start walking relatively quickly. I knew it was going to be painful and I would have to work at it. And i knew it wouldn't be like super quick but i still have crutches and will have them for a few more weeks.
I am not complaining....really, i am happy that i am actively involved in my recovery. I am not allowed to wear my boot at home, i have exercises i have to do every hour, i am starting to put weight on it when i am at home without the boot on. But dude....it swells a lot, and it gets really sore. It is not bad when i am walking on it, the exercises are slightly painful, but it hurts most after the exercises....it just throbs and i feel like it is saying to me....why did you do this to us...we use to be friends and then you don't use us for two months and now you demand us to work. We aren't going to take it!
But now i have a goal....of getting off crutches or as Ally calls them "crunches" and onto a cane before end of august. I am hoping i will be cane worthy by Montreal because if i am still on crutches then....i will be very grumpy.
I am back at work today, and slightly grouchy because of a swelling foot and lots of stuff i have to catch up on. Taking my birthday off was mandatory but now i am behind....which is annoying.
I am not complaining....really, i am happy that i am actively involved in my recovery. I am not allowed to wear my boot at home, i have exercises i have to do every hour, i am starting to put weight on it when i am at home without the boot on. But dude....it swells a lot, and it gets really sore. It is not bad when i am walking on it, the exercises are slightly painful, but it hurts most after the exercises....it just throbs and i feel like it is saying to me....why did you do this to us...we use to be friends and then you don't use us for two months and now you demand us to work. We aren't going to take it!
But now i have a goal....of getting off crutches or as Ally calls them "crunches" and onto a cane before end of august. I am hoping i will be cane worthy by Montreal because if i am still on crutches then....i will be very grumpy.
I am back at work today, and slightly grouchy because of a swelling foot and lots of stuff i have to catch up on. Taking my birthday off was mandatory but now i am behind....which is annoying.
Thursday, July 25, 2013
Doctor Mood Swing
Today is the day.
Not for freedom....but for my next appointment in the world of mental torcher. Go and sign in for your appointment, wait 45 minutes, go for xray, wait an hour, get called in, wait 30 minutes, finally see the doctor. I am going to ensure my phone is fully charged and i have taken my mood stabilizers because i am not going to cry after this appointment.....i have cried after every single appointment. Not in front of anyone....but i wait until i am alone and then i ball my eyes out because i am frustrated and disappointed and apparently don't handle being injured well at all. But this time i have a plan. Well plan is a very generous term for it...it is more of a goal....don't cry....don't expect....don't plan. Yup...my plan is to not plan....that way i can't be disappointed...and that way i won't cry. Although....based on my current mental state...and track record....i am totally going to cry.
But my birthday is in 5 days.....and although the world is against me having an awesome day. They are fire alarm testing in my building that day....all day. And i bet it will rain so Me and Andrea and the Kids won't have a great time at the beach...if i can even walk by then. Man i am a debbie downer. I need to get that under control...i need my pep and enthusiasm back...but the summer of suck sort of crushed it.
So......long ramble short...........today is a doctors appointment and i will probably cry later!
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
Freaking Out
So...this is week 8.....i am tired, i haven't slept well in weeks, i am frustrated with my lack of mobility, i am getting crutch callous' on my palms, and when i cleaned my foot this weekend.....slime came off of it. This whole broken limb thing is gross and uncomfortable and i hate it.....
So, why am i so terrified to go to the doctors tomorrow. What if he tells me i am healed and i have to start walking on it. Up until this point...i haven't been in any real pain, yes i have been uncomfortable and i think the worst pain was actually getting use to the fiberglass cast....it really bothered my heel. But i get the all clear to start walking on it....it hasn't really been moved or walked on in 2 months....according to the online research i did...i have to basically re-learn how to move the ankle and re-learn how to walk on it. And it apparently is going to be painful. My dad said that it was more painful to start walking on his broken foot after it was healed then the entire time it was in a cast. Apparently muscles atrophy and stuff.
But then on the other side of the coin....what if i go to the doctor tomorrow and he is like....still not healing the way i want it. Than i am stuck with this stupid boot even longer and i am not moving forward or getting better. I am still swelling a little more that i should around the break which is a sign it is still healing...which means it isn't healed yet...which means i could be stuck in this stupid boot forever. Okay i know that is dramatic and not likely to happen. But i have already lost June and July to this damn broken ankle....i don't want to lose august. I don't want to spend my birthday grumpy about a broken ankle. I also don't want to spend my birthday in pain from a broken ankle....so i think it is a lose lose situation right now. I guess i should probably just write off this summer as suck....and move on. It is just that as soon as September starts, work is going to be CRAZY...and it won't calm down until like Feb/Mar.
I had so many great plans for this summer.....i even saved up extra shopping money...which i am now going to have to spend on stupid physio because my benefits only cover like $500 which will pay for like 7 sessions and according to steph i will need sessions twice a week for twelve weeks. So bye bye fun and welcome to the suck.
Okay, i know i went grumpy there...and i know i should be excited because i should be free of the crutches soon or i will be able to walk again soon. I guess, i have just been let down at too many appointments to be excited for tomorrow's. Every time i go, something new and horrible happens....so i will just stay focused on today, and deal with my appointment tomorrow when it is appointment time.
So, why am i so terrified to go to the doctors tomorrow. What if he tells me i am healed and i have to start walking on it. Up until this point...i haven't been in any real pain, yes i have been uncomfortable and i think the worst pain was actually getting use to the fiberglass cast....it really bothered my heel. But i get the all clear to start walking on it....it hasn't really been moved or walked on in 2 months....according to the online research i did...i have to basically re-learn how to move the ankle and re-learn how to walk on it. And it apparently is going to be painful. My dad said that it was more painful to start walking on his broken foot after it was healed then the entire time it was in a cast. Apparently muscles atrophy and stuff.
But then on the other side of the coin....what if i go to the doctor tomorrow and he is like....still not healing the way i want it. Than i am stuck with this stupid boot even longer and i am not moving forward or getting better. I am still swelling a little more that i should around the break which is a sign it is still healing...which means it isn't healed yet...which means i could be stuck in this stupid boot forever. Okay i know that is dramatic and not likely to happen. But i have already lost June and July to this damn broken ankle....i don't want to lose august. I don't want to spend my birthday grumpy about a broken ankle. I also don't want to spend my birthday in pain from a broken ankle....so i think it is a lose lose situation right now. I guess i should probably just write off this summer as suck....and move on. It is just that as soon as September starts, work is going to be CRAZY...and it won't calm down until like Feb/Mar.
I had so many great plans for this summer.....i even saved up extra shopping money...which i am now going to have to spend on stupid physio because my benefits only cover like $500 which will pay for like 7 sessions and according to steph i will need sessions twice a week for twelve weeks. So bye bye fun and welcome to the suck.
Okay, i know i went grumpy there...and i know i should be excited because i should be free of the crutches soon or i will be able to walk again soon. I guess, i have just been let down at too many appointments to be excited for tomorrow's. Every time i go, something new and horrible happens....so i will just stay focused on today, and deal with my appointment tomorrow when it is appointment time.
Monday, July 22, 2013
Weekend of cleaning
So, I spent the weekend at my parent's house again. It is going to be weird to have a saturday night to myself again. But it was a good weekend. Friday night, i made it to the movies with Kelly. The TTC was crowded and NO ONE got up to offer me a seat....so i shame stared at everyone i could make eye contact with. I can't believe how self involved people are on the subway...well the evil side of the subway. My side of the subway isn't as crowded and people aren't as territorial about seats. Often people get up and offer seats to the elderly and the disabled.
Anyways.....we made it to the movies and watched This is the End.....HILARIOUSLY FUNNY. It was nice to get out and do something and again regain some of my independence. The other positive thing is that while in the movie, i missed the entire crazy rain storm, so getting home on my own was relatively easy and dry.
Saturday i went to mom and dad's and we had a nice weekend. They made beer can chicken....my favourite thing to make on the bbq. Also, mom helped me wash my leg.
Now this is an overshare but i have been afraid to take it out of this boot thing for fear of re-injuring myself. The first week, i wasn't suppose to, then last week i got more brave about opening the boot up, but not removing my leg. But the entire time, all i wanted to do was clean my leg...i have been giving it small sponge baths but never successful at getting things clean. So on sunday morning, i took my boot and sock off all the way. My foot didn't like it, it has developed stockholm syndrome for the boot (it doesn't like it on the outside any more). My foot looks weird, but we soaked my foot and i got to shave my leg, and we tried to get all the dead skin off. My foot was the worst and super gross and me and mom cleaned it and i will love her forever for helping me. It took a good long time to clean it because after i did the first clean, i soaked my foot in peppermint Epsom Salts and that helped do a final shake off of all the dead skin on my foot. It is nice that it is all clean...but i am not going to feel fully clean until i soak my foot like 80 more times...and the foot stops looking so weird.
I have 4 days until my appointment. And now, i know it is going to be way harder once my bone has been pronounced healed because even from yesterday's adventure of cleaning, I had my foot out and moved it around and i didn't have much range of motion and it swelled from all the movement. So...it will be a long hard climb back to being fully mobile again. Damn crutches. At least we got new crutch handles and tops...so the crutches seem less mangy.
Anyways.....we made it to the movies and watched This is the End.....HILARIOUSLY FUNNY. It was nice to get out and do something and again regain some of my independence. The other positive thing is that while in the movie, i missed the entire crazy rain storm, so getting home on my own was relatively easy and dry.
Saturday i went to mom and dad's and we had a nice weekend. They made beer can chicken....my favourite thing to make on the bbq. Also, mom helped me wash my leg.
Now this is an overshare but i have been afraid to take it out of this boot thing for fear of re-injuring myself. The first week, i wasn't suppose to, then last week i got more brave about opening the boot up, but not removing my leg. But the entire time, all i wanted to do was clean my leg...i have been giving it small sponge baths but never successful at getting things clean. So on sunday morning, i took my boot and sock off all the way. My foot didn't like it, it has developed stockholm syndrome for the boot (it doesn't like it on the outside any more). My foot looks weird, but we soaked my foot and i got to shave my leg, and we tried to get all the dead skin off. My foot was the worst and super gross and me and mom cleaned it and i will love her forever for helping me. It took a good long time to clean it because after i did the first clean, i soaked my foot in peppermint Epsom Salts and that helped do a final shake off of all the dead skin on my foot. It is nice that it is all clean...but i am not going to feel fully clean until i soak my foot like 80 more times...and the foot stops looking so weird.
I have 4 days until my appointment. And now, i know it is going to be way harder once my bone has been pronounced healed because even from yesterday's adventure of cleaning, I had my foot out and moved it around and i didn't have much range of motion and it swelled from all the movement. So...it will be a long hard climb back to being fully mobile again. Damn crutches. At least we got new crutch handles and tops...so the crutches seem less mangy.
Friday, July 19, 2013
I did it
I officially made it to work every day this week on my own using the ttc. That is correct...i have regained some form of independence.
Granted...every time i have to walk far distances....i consider the option of just living where i am. Any sort of long walk makes me so tired...i have bruises and crutch callouses on the palms of my hands from all the crutch use. Plus the crutches are starting to look incredibly mangy and gross. I have a week until my next appointment....and i have no idea what they are going to say. I am not expecting to get my cast off because let's face it...every time i expect something....something bad happens. I don't even think i am going to bring an extra shoe because it was so useless last time. I also promise myself, if i don't get it off, i won't cry all weekend because it is my birthday weekend.....and i shouldn't cry. Although that song does say 'it's my birthday and i will cry if i want to'......so if i do cry....i am just going to make that my theme song.
The other thing that is strange, as it gets hotter, i should be more frustrated and annoyed at this stupid boot, my stupid ankle...and all that.....but i have become, not accepting of it...but resigned. It is what it is....wishing didn't make it heal faster, eating lots of protein and drinking lots of milk didn't help it heal faster. I guess my body is as stubborn as my mind....it will do things in it's own time when it is damn well ready. Although....if this stupid ankle messes up my happy day (aka my birthday) than i am going to be full of sad face and frustration once more.
Granted...every time i have to walk far distances....i consider the option of just living where i am. Any sort of long walk makes me so tired...i have bruises and crutch callouses on the palms of my hands from all the crutch use. Plus the crutches are starting to look incredibly mangy and gross. I have a week until my next appointment....and i have no idea what they are going to say. I am not expecting to get my cast off because let's face it...every time i expect something....something bad happens. I don't even think i am going to bring an extra shoe because it was so useless last time. I also promise myself, if i don't get it off, i won't cry all weekend because it is my birthday weekend.....and i shouldn't cry. Although that song does say 'it's my birthday and i will cry if i want to'......so if i do cry....i am just going to make that my theme song.
The other thing that is strange, as it gets hotter, i should be more frustrated and annoyed at this stupid boot, my stupid ankle...and all that.....but i have become, not accepting of it...but resigned. It is what it is....wishing didn't make it heal faster, eating lots of protein and drinking lots of milk didn't help it heal faster. I guess my body is as stubborn as my mind....it will do things in it's own time when it is damn well ready. Although....if this stupid ankle messes up my happy day (aka my birthday) than i am going to be full of sad face and frustration once more.
Wednesday, July 17, 2013
Inner Nerd
So, all of you probably know i am pretty nerdy when it comes to certain things......and there are a few people at work that have told me, i need to just embrace and accept my inner nerd and go full nerd....Loud and proud. I think it may have been my interest in Dr. Who that put me over the top from dabbler to full fledged nerd....plus there is that comic thing (i read comics and graphic novels). My friend send me a cartoon posted on jezebel yesterday about fan girls.....I always liked to pride myself on the fact that i am an individual but....i may be a fan girl. I haven't stalked anybody or anything....but i am obsessed with anything Joss Whedon has done.....especially buffy. It always comes back to buffy. God i love that show!
In other news....made it to work successfully again today. I am starting to feel a little independent again. Granted i still can't carry anything and i tire remarkably quick.....but i still feel like it is a great accomplishment. I have 7 days until my next appointment. And i pray to any god that will listen that i am healing nice and strong.
In other news....made it to work successfully again today. I am starting to feel a little independent again. Granted i still can't carry anything and i tire remarkably quick.....but i still feel like it is a great accomplishment. I have 7 days until my next appointment. And i pray to any god that will listen that i am healing nice and strong.
Tuesday, July 16, 2013
Jenn's Paris Adventure
So i have spent so much time whining about my brokenness that i completely forgot to tell you all about Jenn's wonderful and exciting adventure.
Jenn is going to Paris for a month of relaxation and cultural exploration. And she is blogging the whole thing. You definitely need to check it out. She posts a ton of pictures and her blog looks amazing. You will enjoy it.
http://fefelepetitechien.blogspot.ca/
I am really sad i missed her party friday night, stupid leg.
When she gets back i will plan a great welcome back party.
But seriously people check out her blog because it is awesome. She has this tiny pink dog named Fefe who will be accompanying her on all her adventures. Fefe is awesome!
Jenn is going to Paris for a month of relaxation and cultural exploration. And she is blogging the whole thing. You definitely need to check it out. She posts a ton of pictures and her blog looks amazing. You will enjoy it.
http://fefelepetitechien.blogspot.ca/
I am really sad i missed her party friday night, stupid leg.
When she gets back i will plan a great welcome back party.
But seriously people check out her blog because it is awesome. She has this tiny pink dog named Fefe who will be accompanying her on all her adventures. Fefe is awesome!
Monday, July 15, 2013
I Made it
This is the first week i am on my own for transportation to work. I have decided to try to get back to normal and take the subway.
Last week, i slipped again. It frustrates me SO MUCH at how clumsy I am with only one leg and a set of crutches. Every fall just reminds me that i have limitations and i hate limitations. So of course after the slip, i pushed myself to do more that i could. I crutched to david's tea and did some shopping. I was so exhausted that i had to sit like every few minutes. And then when i got home, dad always said that the freedom of having this type of cast is you can loosen it when it becomes uncomfortable, so every night last week, when i would get home from work, i would loosen the straps. Every night i got braver and by thursday i had opened the boot completely to relax. But i guess from all the extra activity, the heat, and slip, my leg took the open boot opportunity to swell. So unfortunately when i went to close it up, it did not feel good at all. Dad said that if it is swelling to not open the boot, and let the compression of the boot keep the swelling down. But this is in direct contradiction to the earlier instructions he left me saying that the boot should only be tighten to you own comfort level.
Here is my problem, it is suppose to be tight and ridged to keep my foot in place so i can eventually walk on it. But my heel doesn't like to stay on the bottom of the cast, it likes to slide up the back. so to keep in it place, i keep the cast pretty tight during the day.....but then really loose at night. But when dad looked at my foot he says i have pressure bruises on my foot from how tight i keep my cast. but how do i keep the cast tight enough to keep my ankle from sliding up but loose enough to not cause pressure bruises. I don't know how to make those two things match.
I also started walking a bit on the cast...well not really it is more the motion of walking with help (lots of help) from the crutches. I am not putting much pressure on but enough pressure that i can feel my leg getting back into the motion of walking. Dad looked at the swelling on my ankle as well said that it shouldn't be that swelled but not to worry, he says it is from non-use. All i can think about is if i am not healing properly. It is the only thing on my mind.....'heal properly....heal properly' Every single thing that seems weird to me...and it all seems weird because this is my first ever broken bone....i am worried there is something wrong. I wish they had a handbook or something to say this is exactly what will happen and when.
Anyways, back to the original reason of the post. I took the subway to work this morning. I had to get up STUPID early again. I figured the earlier i get to work the less of a crowd, and also the earlier i get to work the earlier i can leave, again less of a crowd. The subway ride was pretty easy this morning, except for the stupid stairs at king. King subway station is not the most accessible, the escalators to track level only go up, and there is only an escalator to street level on one exit...which is the exact opposite exit i need to leave at. So i have two options...crutch my way up the stairs at my exit...or escalator up the other exit then have to crutch further at work. Today i did the stairs...people kept stopping and offering help, which was nice but what were they going to do, carry me up...i needed to do it on my own. So i thanked them politely for their offer but told them i am fine, just very slow. I made it on time for work, well 4 minutes after my projected time...but i can make up those 4 minutes at lunch. I am glad i have some semblance of normalcy but dude i am super gross and sweaty. I hate how hot, sweaty and tired i get from crutching it longer that like 2 minutes. Stupid crutches. I also didn't really walk on it this morning to get to work because i move so slowly with the practice walking. and i can really get moving with the normal crutching. So i will practice walk at work...but to and from...stick to normal crutching. I also don't want to overwork my ankle and injure myself as is my big fear. I literally have nightmares of re-injuring or not healing properly.
Last week, i slipped again. It frustrates me SO MUCH at how clumsy I am with only one leg and a set of crutches. Every fall just reminds me that i have limitations and i hate limitations. So of course after the slip, i pushed myself to do more that i could. I crutched to david's tea and did some shopping. I was so exhausted that i had to sit like every few minutes. And then when i got home, dad always said that the freedom of having this type of cast is you can loosen it when it becomes uncomfortable, so every night last week, when i would get home from work, i would loosen the straps. Every night i got braver and by thursday i had opened the boot completely to relax. But i guess from all the extra activity, the heat, and slip, my leg took the open boot opportunity to swell. So unfortunately when i went to close it up, it did not feel good at all. Dad said that if it is swelling to not open the boot, and let the compression of the boot keep the swelling down. But this is in direct contradiction to the earlier instructions he left me saying that the boot should only be tighten to you own comfort level.
Here is my problem, it is suppose to be tight and ridged to keep my foot in place so i can eventually walk on it. But my heel doesn't like to stay on the bottom of the cast, it likes to slide up the back. so to keep in it place, i keep the cast pretty tight during the day.....but then really loose at night. But when dad looked at my foot he says i have pressure bruises on my foot from how tight i keep my cast. but how do i keep the cast tight enough to keep my ankle from sliding up but loose enough to not cause pressure bruises. I don't know how to make those two things match.
I also started walking a bit on the cast...well not really it is more the motion of walking with help (lots of help) from the crutches. I am not putting much pressure on but enough pressure that i can feel my leg getting back into the motion of walking. Dad looked at the swelling on my ankle as well said that it shouldn't be that swelled but not to worry, he says it is from non-use. All i can think about is if i am not healing properly. It is the only thing on my mind.....'heal properly....heal properly' Every single thing that seems weird to me...and it all seems weird because this is my first ever broken bone....i am worried there is something wrong. I wish they had a handbook or something to say this is exactly what will happen and when.
Anyways, back to the original reason of the post. I took the subway to work this morning. I had to get up STUPID early again. I figured the earlier i get to work the less of a crowd, and also the earlier i get to work the earlier i can leave, again less of a crowd. The subway ride was pretty easy this morning, except for the stupid stairs at king. King subway station is not the most accessible, the escalators to track level only go up, and there is only an escalator to street level on one exit...which is the exact opposite exit i need to leave at. So i have two options...crutch my way up the stairs at my exit...or escalator up the other exit then have to crutch further at work. Today i did the stairs...people kept stopping and offering help, which was nice but what were they going to do, carry me up...i needed to do it on my own. So i thanked them politely for their offer but told them i am fine, just very slow. I made it on time for work, well 4 minutes after my projected time...but i can make up those 4 minutes at lunch. I am glad i have some semblance of normalcy but dude i am super gross and sweaty. I hate how hot, sweaty and tired i get from crutching it longer that like 2 minutes. Stupid crutches. I also didn't really walk on it this morning to get to work because i move so slowly with the practice walking. and i can really get moving with the normal crutching. So i will practice walk at work...but to and from...stick to normal crutching. I also don't want to overwork my ankle and injure myself as is my big fear. I literally have nightmares of re-injuring or not healing properly.
Thursday, July 11, 2013
Life Update
So i have been working 7:30 to 4:30 this week. It is crazy difficult because i am NOT...and i stress this twice NOT a morning person. I also don't move around as quickly as i use to so i can't do the standard like 10 minute morning routine. It is now like a 30 to 40 minute morning routine...so i am getting up at like 6AM.....AM. But i can't complain too much...because i am getting a ride to and from work. Next week, i will be on my own again because the AWESOME Laura (she's the one driving me) has vacation, which is well deserved. I think i am going to attempt the subway. I will try it on monday and see how tough it is. But because King station isn't very accessible. I will stick to the stupidly early morning because i should be able to avoid crowds and congestion.
In terms of my mood, still depressed....grumpy...uncomfortable. I wish i could say i was back to my peppy, optimistic self....but i am not, i am tired and grumpy all the time. Going anywhere takes like a million times longer and i get tired and sweaty so quickly. I painted my nails with sad faces to express my feelings and that cheered me up a bit. I am planning to buy a butt load of sharpies and decorating my ugly boot cast. If i am going to be stuck with this longer...i am going to make it pretty.
My computer is also broken...well not completely broken, the mouse/touchpad thing isn't working....i tried the FN F7 thing and it didn't work, so i need to get a mouse for the computer. Although getting a mouse or sharpies aren't that easy because i go home to work, work to home.....so today after work i am going to attempt to crutch to the PATH and get sharpies and a mouse....and david's tea. Although it is really far and i don't have much luck with far distances. I don't have much luck with short distances. And my foot swells really easily still, i think it is a combination of the break and the heat.
Anyways...that's the update...i am still grumpy and uncomfortable and all i want to do is sleep.
In terms of my mood, still depressed....grumpy...uncomfortable. I wish i could say i was back to my peppy, optimistic self....but i am not, i am tired and grumpy all the time. Going anywhere takes like a million times longer and i get tired and sweaty so quickly. I painted my nails with sad faces to express my feelings and that cheered me up a bit. I am planning to buy a butt load of sharpies and decorating my ugly boot cast. If i am going to be stuck with this longer...i am going to make it pretty.
My computer is also broken...well not completely broken, the mouse/touchpad thing isn't working....i tried the FN F7 thing and it didn't work, so i need to get a mouse for the computer. Although getting a mouse or sharpies aren't that easy because i go home to work, work to home.....so today after work i am going to attempt to crutch to the PATH and get sharpies and a mouse....and david's tea. Although it is really far and i don't have much luck with far distances. I don't have much luck with short distances. And my foot swells really easily still, i think it is a combination of the break and the heat.
Anyways...that's the update...i am still grumpy and uncomfortable and all i want to do is sleep.
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