Actively Involved in my Recovery

So, i took a small break to celebrate my birthday as well as the declaration that i am cleared for physio.  Now it is not at all what i expected.  I assumed the doctor would declare me fully healed and send me to physio where i would be transfered to a cane and start walking relatively quickly.  I knew it was going to be painful and I would have to work at it.  And i knew it wouldn't be like super quick but i still have crutches and will have them for a few more weeks.

I am not complaining....really, i am happy that i am actively involved in my recovery.  I am not allowed to wear my boot at home, i have exercises i have to do every hour, i am starting to put weight on it when i am at home without the boot on.  But dude....it swells a lot, and it gets really sore.  It is not bad when i am walking on it, the exercises are slightly painful, but it hurts most after the exercises....it just throbs and i feel like it is saying to me....why did you do this to us...we use to be friends and then you don't use us for two months and now you demand us to work.  We aren't going to take it!

But now i have a goal....of getting off crutches or as Ally calls them "crunches" and onto a cane before end of august.  I am hoping i will be cane worthy by Montreal because if i am still on crutches then....i will be very grumpy.

I am back at work today, and slightly grouchy because of a swelling foot and lots of stuff i have to catch up on.  Taking my birthday off was mandatory but now i am behind....which is annoying.

Doctor Mood Swing

Today is the day.

Not for freedom....but for my next appointment in the world of mental torcher.  Go and sign in for your appointment, wait 45 minutes, go for xray, wait an hour, get called in, wait 30 minutes, finally see the doctor. I am going to ensure my phone is fully charged and i have taken my mood stabilizers because i am not going to cry after this appointment.....i have cried after every single appointment.  Not in front of anyone....but i wait until i am alone and then i ball my eyes out because i am frustrated and disappointed and apparently don't handle being injured well at all.  But this time i have a plan.  Well plan is a very generous term for it...it is more of a goal....don't cry....don't expect....don't plan.  Yup...my plan is to not plan....that way i can't be disappointed...and that way i won't cry.  Although....based on my current mental state...and track record....i am totally going to cry.  

But my birthday is in 5 days.....and although the world is against me having an awesome day.  They are fire alarm testing in my building that day....all day.  And i bet it will rain so Me and Andrea and the Kids won't have a great time at the beach...if i can even walk by then.  Man i am a debbie downer.  I need to get that under control...i need my pep and enthusiasm back...but the summer of suck sort of crushed it. 

So......long ramble short...........today is a doctors appointment and i will probably cry later! 

Freaking Out

So...this is week 8.....i am tired, i haven't slept well in weeks, i am frustrated with my lack of mobility, i am getting crutch callous' on my palms, and when i cleaned my foot this weekend.....slime came off of it.  This whole broken limb thing is gross and uncomfortable and i hate it.....

So, why am i so terrified to go to the doctors tomorrow.  What if he tells me i am healed and i have to start walking on it.  Up until this point...i haven't been in any real pain, yes i have been uncomfortable and i think the worst pain was actually getting use to the fiberglass cast....it really bothered my heel.  But i get the all clear to start walking on it....it hasn't really been moved or walked on in 2 months....according to the online research i did...i have to basically re-learn how to move the ankle and re-learn how to walk on it.  And it apparently is going to be painful.  My dad said that it was more painful to start walking on his broken foot after it was healed then the entire time it was in a cast.  Apparently muscles atrophy and stuff.

But then on the other side of the coin....what if i go to the doctor tomorrow and he is like....still not healing the way i want it.  Than i am stuck with this stupid boot even longer and i am not moving forward or getting better.  I am still swelling a little more that i should around the break which is a sign it is still healing...which means it isn't healed yet...which means i could be stuck in this stupid boot forever.  Okay i know that is dramatic and not likely to happen.  But i have already lost June and July to this damn broken ankle....i don't want to lose august.  I don't want to spend my birthday grumpy about a broken ankle.  I also don't want to spend my birthday in pain from a broken ankle....so i think it is a lose lose situation right now.  I guess i should probably just write off this summer as suck....and move on.  It is just that as soon as September starts, work is going to be CRAZY...and it won't calm down until like Feb/Mar.

I had so many great plans for this summer.....i even saved up extra shopping money...which i am now going to have to spend on stupid physio because my benefits only cover like $500 which will pay for like 7 sessions and according to steph i will need sessions twice a week for twelve weeks.  So bye bye fun and welcome to the suck.

Okay, i know i went grumpy there...and i know i should be excited because i should be free of the crutches soon or i will be able to walk again soon.  I guess, i have just been let down at too many appointments to be excited for tomorrow's.  Every time i go, something new and horrible happens....so i will just stay focused on today, and deal with my appointment tomorrow when it is appointment time.

Weekend of cleaning

So, I spent the weekend at my parent's house again.  It is going to be weird to have a saturday night to myself again.  But it was a good weekend.  Friday night, i made it to the movies with Kelly.  The TTC was crowded and NO ONE got up to offer me a seat....so i shame stared at everyone i could make eye contact with.  I can't believe how self involved people are on the subway...well the evil side of the subway.  My side of the subway isn't as crowded and people aren't as territorial about seats.  Often people get up and offer seats to the elderly and the disabled.

Anyways.....we made it to the movies and watched This is the End.....HILARIOUSLY FUNNY.  It was nice to get out and do something and again regain some of my independence. The other positive thing is that while in the movie, i missed the entire crazy rain storm, so getting home on my own was relatively easy and dry.

Saturday i went to mom and dad's and we had a nice weekend.  They made beer can chicken....my favourite thing to make on the bbq.  Also, mom helped me wash my leg.

Now this is an overshare but i have been afraid to take it out of this boot thing for fear of re-injuring myself. The first week, i wasn't suppose to, then last week i got more brave about opening the boot up, but not removing my leg.  But the entire time, all i wanted to do was clean my leg...i have been giving it small sponge baths but never successful at getting things clean.  So on sunday morning, i took my boot and sock off all the way.  My foot didn't like it, it has developed stockholm syndrome for the boot (it doesn't like it on the outside any more).  My foot looks weird, but we soaked my foot and i got to shave my leg, and we tried to get all the dead skin off.  My foot was the worst and super gross and me and mom cleaned it and i will love her forever for helping me.  It took a good long time to clean it because after i did the first clean, i soaked my foot in peppermint Epsom Salts and that helped do a final shake off of all the dead skin on my foot.  It is nice that it is all clean...but i am not going to feel fully clean until i soak my foot like 80 more times...and the foot stops looking so weird.

I have 4 days until my appointment.  And now, i know it is going to be way harder once my bone has been pronounced healed because even from yesterday's adventure of cleaning, I had my foot out and moved it around and i didn't have much range of motion and it swelled from all the movement.  So...it will be a long hard climb back to being fully mobile again.  Damn crutches.  At least we got new crutch handles and tops...so the crutches seem less mangy.

I did it

I officially made it to work every day this week on my own using the ttc.  That is correct...i have regained some form of independence.

Granted...every time i have to walk far distances....i consider the option of just living where i am.  Any sort of long walk makes me so tired...i have bruises and crutch callouses on the palms of my hands from all the crutch use.  Plus the crutches are starting to look incredibly mangy and gross.  I have a week until my next appointment....and i have no idea what they are going to say.  I am not expecting to get my cast off because let's face it...every time i expect something....something bad happens.  I don't even think i am going to bring an extra shoe because it was so useless last time.  I also promise myself, if i don't get it off, i won't cry all weekend because it is my birthday weekend.....and i shouldn't cry.  Although that song does say 'it's my birthday and i will cry if i want to'......so if i do cry....i am just going to make that my theme song.

The other thing that is strange, as it gets hotter, i should be more frustrated and annoyed at this stupid boot, my stupid ankle...and all that.....but i have become, not accepting of it...but resigned.  It is what it is....wishing didn't make it heal faster, eating lots of protein and drinking lots of milk didn't help it heal faster.  I guess my body is as stubborn as my mind....it will do things in it's own time when it is damn well ready.  Although....if this stupid ankle messes up my happy day (aka my birthday) than i am going to be full of sad face and frustration once more.

Inner Nerd

So, all of you probably know i am pretty nerdy when it comes to certain things......and there are a few people at work that have told me, i need to just embrace and accept my inner nerd and go full nerd....Loud and proud.  I think it may have been my interest in Dr. Who that put me over the top from dabbler to full fledged nerd....plus there is that comic thing (i read comics and graphic novels).  My friend send me a cartoon posted on jezebel yesterday about fan girls.....I always liked to pride myself on the fact that i am an individual but....i may be a fan girl.  I haven't stalked anybody or anything....but i am obsessed with anything Joss Whedon has done.....especially buffy.  It always comes back to buffy.  God i love that show!


In other news....made it to work successfully again today.  I am starting to feel a little independent again. Granted i still can't carry anything and i tire remarkably quick.....but i still feel like it is a great accomplishment.  I have 7 days until my next appointment.  And i pray to any god that will listen that i am healing nice and strong.

Jenn's Paris Adventure

So i have spent so much time whining about my brokenness that i completely forgot to tell you all about Jenn's wonderful and exciting adventure.

Jenn is going to Paris for a month of relaxation and cultural exploration.  And she is blogging the whole thing. You definitely need to check it out.  She posts a ton of pictures and her blog looks amazing.  You will enjoy it.
http://fefelepetitechien.blogspot.ca/

I am really sad i missed her party friday night, stupid leg.

When she gets back i will plan a great welcome back party.

But seriously people check out her blog because it is awesome.  She has this tiny pink dog named Fefe who will be accompanying her on all her adventures.  Fefe is awesome!

I Made it

This is the first week i am on my own for transportation to work.  I have decided to try to get back to normal and take the subway.
Last week, i slipped again.  It frustrates me SO MUCH at how clumsy I am with only one leg and a set of crutches.  Every fall just reminds me that i have limitations and i hate limitations.  So of course after the slip, i pushed myself to do more that i could.  I crutched to david's tea and did some shopping.  I was so exhausted that i had to sit like every few minutes.  And then when i got home, dad always said that the freedom of having this type of cast is you can loosen it when it becomes uncomfortable, so every night last week, when i would get home from work, i would loosen the straps.  Every night i got braver and by thursday i had opened the boot completely to relax.  But i guess from all the extra activity, the heat, and slip, my leg took the open boot opportunity to swell.  So unfortunately when i went to close it up, it did not feel good at all.  Dad said that if it is swelling to not open the boot, and let the compression of the boot keep the swelling down.  But this is in direct contradiction to the earlier instructions he left me saying that the boot should only be tighten to you own comfort level.

Here is my problem, it is suppose to be tight and ridged to keep my foot in place so i can eventually walk on it.  But my heel doesn't like to stay on the bottom of the cast, it likes to slide up the back.  so to keep in it place, i keep the cast pretty tight during the day.....but then really loose at night.  But when dad looked at my foot he says i have pressure bruises on my foot from how tight i keep my cast.  but how do i keep the cast tight enough to keep my ankle from sliding up but loose enough to not cause pressure bruises.  I don't know how to make those two things match.

I also started walking a bit on the cast...well not really it is more the motion of walking with help (lots of help) from the crutches.  I am not putting much pressure on but enough pressure that i can feel my leg getting back into the motion of walking.  Dad looked at the swelling on my ankle as well said that it shouldn't be that swelled but not to worry, he says it is from non-use.  All i can think about is if i am not healing properly.  It is the only thing on my mind.....'heal properly....heal properly' Every single thing that seems weird to me...and it all seems weird because this is my first ever broken bone....i am worried there is something wrong.  I wish they had a handbook or something to say this is exactly what will happen and when.

Anyways, back to the original reason of the post.  I took the subway to work this morning.  I had to get up STUPID early again.  I figured the earlier i get to work the less of a crowd, and also the earlier i get to work the earlier i can leave, again less of a crowd.  The subway ride was pretty easy this morning, except for the stupid stairs at king.  King subway station is not the most accessible, the escalators to track level only go up, and there is only an escalator to street level on one exit...which is the exact opposite exit i need to leave at.  So i have two options...crutch my way up the stairs at my exit...or escalator up the other exit then have to crutch further at work.  Today i did the stairs...people kept stopping and offering help, which was nice but what were they going to do, carry me up...i needed to do it on my own.  So i thanked them politely for their offer but told them i am fine, just very slow.  I made it on time for work, well 4 minutes after my projected time...but i can make up those 4 minutes at lunch.  I am glad i have some semblance of normalcy but dude i am super gross and sweaty.  I hate how hot, sweaty and tired i get from crutching it longer that like 2 minutes.  Stupid crutches. I also didn't really walk on it this morning to get to work because i move so slowly with the practice walking.  and i can really get moving with the normal crutching.  So i will practice walk at work...but to and from...stick to normal crutching.  I also don't want to overwork my ankle and injure myself as is my big fear.  I literally have nightmares of re-injuring or not healing properly.

Life Update

So i have been working 7:30 to 4:30 this week.  It is crazy difficult because i am NOT...and i stress this twice NOT a morning person.  I also don't move around as quickly as i use to so i can't do the standard like 10 minute morning routine.  It is now like a 30 to 40 minute morning routine...so i am getting up at like 6AM.....AM.  But i can't complain too much...because i am getting a ride to and from work.  Next week, i will be on my own again because the AWESOME Laura (she's the one driving me) has vacation, which is well deserved.  I think i am going to attempt the subway.  I will try it on monday and see how tough it is.  But because King station isn't very accessible.  I will stick to the stupidly early morning because i should be able to avoid crowds and congestion.

In terms of my mood, still depressed....grumpy...uncomfortable.  I wish i could say i was back to my peppy, optimistic self....but i am not, i am tired and grumpy all the time.  Going anywhere takes like a million times longer and i get tired and sweaty so quickly.  I painted my nails with sad faces to express my feelings and that cheered me up a bit.  I am planning to buy a butt load of sharpies and decorating my ugly boot cast.  If i am going to be stuck with this longer...i am going to make it pretty.

My computer is also broken...well not completely broken, the mouse/touchpad thing isn't working....i tried the FN F7 thing and it didn't work, so i need to get a mouse for the computer.  Although getting a mouse or sharpies aren't that easy because i go home to work, work to home.....so today after work i am going to attempt to crutch to the PATH and get sharpies and a mouse....and david's tea.  Although it is really far and i don't have much luck with far distances.  I don't have much luck with short distances.  And my foot swells really easily still, i think it is a combination of the break and the heat.

Anyways...that's the update...i am still grumpy and uncomfortable and all i want to do is sleep.

a sea of depression

So if you haven't heard by now I have 3 more weeks of cast town.

Let me tell you the full story. I will try to keep my grump out of it but I am still very bitter and depressed. The grump is completely related to the doctor. He seemed so positive at my last appointment talking about taking the cast off and starting physio...I would not have expected the cast off if the doctor hadn't indicated that it was a possibility.

Anyways to the story. I am still healing but I am about two weeks out of being fully healed. The doctor went back and forth between keeping the fibreglass cast and giving me an air cast. I talked him into an aircast than immediately started worrying I made the wrong decision. The doctor says I still have to really baby my ankle and I can't put weight on it for at least a week. I have to work towards putting weight on it slowly. So on top of worrying I could re injure it or make it worse by changing the cast....I now have no idea how much weight is acceptable.

Then on top of all that worry I spent the weekend crying.  First because I have been in major pain...I had to move my foot out of that odd angle it's been in to fit it in the air cast and that was super painful then I cried from depression of three more weeks and then I cried in frustration because every time I move it is awkward and seems impossible.

So I am depressed. I am trying to be positive but I hate all the attention and I am terrified I am going to cry at work tomorrow.

I don't know if I can get to that positive place. I don't want to do anything...I don't really want to talk to anyone...I really just want to sit and stew. But that isn't good. I should be refocusing and working on my meditation and being healthy but everything just keeps going wrong and nothing is working out the way I planned and I am just getting so tired. So tired of looking on the bright side. Life sucks and it never works out the way you want it. I know that is dramatic and people experience and live through worse. But it is just how I feel...it is like my positivity just snapped and all I am left with is grump, frustration, and depression.

I am a bag of Nerves

I just can't help it, today is my appointment, and i crazy nervous because i don't know what to expect.

I think i am going to really have to manage my expectations if i do get my cast off, because i am making a list of things i want to do once i am mobile again and i keep thinking once the cast is off i will be able to walk again.  But i know logically that i will have to take it easy and not push myself to fast.....but i come from a family that is not good at taking it easy through injuries.  I mean, my dad was putting christmas lights up on the roof a week after he was released from the hospital after getting his appendix removed.  We don't really have the patience to just take it easy.  I mean sure i love sitting on my butt, watching tv and doing nothing....but when i am suppose to take it easy....i want to do anything but.

It is like when i am sick, i always get a sore throat and i am told to stick to tea and soup and soothing things and i spend the entire time fantasizing about like KFC and other stupidly bad for me crunchy, scratchy items.  I am the textbook "tell me i can't have it and that's all i want" person.  With the foot, i know i will be told to take it easy and don't push myself, but in my head, i am already planning big trips that will involve walking a lot....david's tea, brunch with Jenn and Tak, and so many other things that i use to do that i haven't been able to do in 5 weeks.  If i get my cast off today, i am really going to have to be strict with myself.  I am going to have to learn how to pace myself because even worse than not being able to do those things i want to do is re-injuring myself.  If i re-injure myself.......the world will suffer.  Because after 5 weeks in a cast (which isn't even that long) i am full of grump and frustration.  I hate not being able to do the things i want to do and my body is starting to get stiff, i am uncomfortable all the time, it takes me like 20 minutes to get to and from the bathroom at work!  I am turning into a grumpy toddler.  I am like one more NO away from a full blown tantrum.

So close yet so far

So as you can tell, i am obsessing about my ankle and i am probably being a little overly dramatic, but i figure i am entitled based on the month i have had.  I know broken bones happen every day and they heal and people live with it.  but DUDE...it's my first broken bone ever....my first trip to the hospital (as a patient) ever, my first time with pneumonia, my first ct scan, and maybe my least favourite first, an emotional breakdown at work....there were a lot of firsts this month.

My dad tells me i spend too much time worrying and trying to figure out a plan before i even have all the details.  Like what if i don't get my cast off tomorrow, how should i get to mom's party on saturday, what happens if i have to take another week of cabs....i try to make plans for all the contingencies but there are just too many things i don't know.  And i want to know...i need to know so i can make a plan.  But i won't know anything until my appointment tomorrow.  And that is driving me CRAZY.  If i at least knew what to expect then i could make a plan of action but because i have no idea....i don't know what to do.
I am what you would call a professional worrier.  Give me a topic and i will worry it into submission in a matter of minutes.  I just can't help it.  I don't like unknowns.

Unknowns for me are items i can't control or plan for.  I thought i was getting better and relaxing and rolling with life but then life throws this at me and sure i ended up with a month of work (two weeks sick leave and two weeks vacation) but everything has changed.  I missed my trip to kingston, my special alex time, and i still haven't been to a drive in.

I know it isn't a big deal, i get my cast off or i don't, i survive another week with crutches or i get a cane these are all things that i can deal with.  I also have a longish recovery time.  The doctor told me at my first appointment that it would be at least 3 months before i am back up to my normal speed.  I will have to do a lot of physio and work on my own time.  And i am fine with that, i am committed to getting back to normal..i will put in the time.  Okay....that is my plan....relax and whatever happens tomorrow will happen.  I will survive and i will adapt to the situation.  If i can survive a broken ankle and pneumonia at the same time...i can survive my crutches for a little while longer.

This has been my internal monologue for like days....it is like i am arguing with myself....first i freak out about all the unknowns, then i pep talk myself, then i calm down.....until the next moment of freak out.

Day Two

Last night, my foot was very swelly.  I guess doing something other than watching tv with my foot up and crocheting.  Now with all the moving around and stuff, my foot swells a lot more.  But i did get a cool remote to open the security doors.

It is nice to get back to work and let my excel nerd shine.....making spreadsheets and manipulating data....i am surprised to say that i kind of missed it.

So, because i am obsessed....i have 2 more days until my cast appointment on friday.  And i really need them to tell me that i don't need my cast anymore.  But it has been awhile since i have seen my leg, it is going to be so hairy.  Also, do i bring a shoe on friday and cause a potential jinx to the getting the cast off.  Is it like when you bring an umbrella because it looks like rain but it doesn't rain due to your preparedness?  I mean, i don't bring a shoe, based on my current level of luck, i will get my cast off and i will be that weird person with only one shoe.  Although i have been told, i won't immediately be able to walk on my ankle right away.  but who knows...maybe all my super healing work has magically and i will be a MIRACLE.  I have been focusing on my healing and i have been meditating (yes meditating) i have these cd's that is like rain sounds and stuff but it is suppose to help with meditating.  So before i go to bed every night i listen to the cd and focus on healing.  It helps, in fact my last appointment the doctor couldn't stop talking about how great it is healing.  I am the boss of my body....it does what i tell it...and i tell it to heal, quickly and correctly.

And once i am free of my cast, the crutches won't be far behind (i hate those crutches so much).  I didn't bejewel them or name them or anything because they don't deserve it...i hate them.  When this is over...i am going to 'office space' my cast and my crutches....it will be so therapeutic.

I am never taking for granted my mobility again.

Back at work

So i just noticed, the pneumonia post i wrote like 2 weeks ago never got posted.  So i posted it this morning.  But to assure you all, i am back to work, pneumonia free.....still with a broken ankle.

So to recap.  This is my 5th week with a broken ankle, i have an appointment on friday (hopefully my last).  they will take my cast off and do xrays to ensure that it has healed.  then....i have, according to steph, about 12 weeks of physio.

God i can't tell you how great it is to be back at work.  I will admit that i am tired and no longer use to doing anything but watching tv and crocheting.  But back at work...at my desk....doing work related things....it is nice.  I am feeling useful again.

So looking back, how did i spend June?  Well, the first week, i broke my ankle, i had to keep it elevated and it was a temporary cast which made it hard to move around, my temp cast was just plaster along the bottom of my foot and up the back of my leg to below my knee then wrapped in a tensor bandage to hold it on.  Then on friday i had my first fracture appointment, where they took more xrays and then put a new cast on (fiberglass hot pink) and then more xrays.  The reason i needed so many xrays and why i was told to keep my foot elevated and to be careful was because of where the break is.  Most times, the type of break i have requires surgery to pin the bone back into place and then a cast for six weeks.  But because mine break wasn't 'displaced' they decided that there was a great chance that it would heal back together naturally.  We just had to keep checking that it was healing in the right place and attaching back together.  So then second week of broken leg land, i went back to work but couldn't breath.  So i got sent back to the hospital and then after two straight days of very scary not knowing and worrying that a blood clot had travelled to my lungs and being sent around the hospital doing all sorts of tests...i was diagnosed with pneumonia.  PNEUMONIA!
So the second week off i spend sleeping and focusing on recovering my pneumonia.  By the end of the second week, i was starting to feel better and i could breath again.

But the third and fourth week i was suppose to be on vacation.  I was told i didn't need to take it, but i was still hopeful that i could salvage my vacation and make it awesome.  In truth, i spent a lot of time with my leg up and watching tv.  I also went to 2 more fracture appointments where i held out hope i would get a walking cast.  The first week of vacation, while still recovering from pneumonia...i did a bunch of research on how to encourage bone growth. I think it was a successful project because at my last fracture appointment, they said it was healing great, surgery was off the table, and my next appointment would hopefully be my last.  Of course, that was like forever ago (two weeks).  Now i am back at work, feeling good and counting down the minutes i will be able to walk with both feet.

Using the crutches is a crazy workout....i have to spend so much time balancing and activating my core and right side that i am going to have a lopsided situation happening soon.

and the hits keep coming

So that wheezy breathing and persistant cough....it's pneumonia!

People at work on Monday noticed the wheezing and took me to a walk in where the doctor checked my heart rate found it elevated. That plus the wheezing plus the recently broken ankle meant possibility of blood clots in my lungs. So I went to emerg to get checked out. I spent Monday freaking out and completely scared. I went from never being seriously sick to being in emerg twice in one week.  They did a bunch of tests saw everything was normal. They sent me home with an appointment the next day for one more test to rule out blood clots completely. So Tuesday I went back to the hospital did this vt scan and then got sent back to emerg for the . The scan did not rule out blood clots. There was something in my lungs causing breathing issues. So I got sent for a ct scan.
They inject this dye into you and you lay on this bed with your arms in the air as this thing spins around you taking pictures. The weirdest part of the scan is you are told once the dye is injected you will feel very warm and you will feel like you peed your pants. I thought it was the weirdest warning but it is true...I know this is an overshare but I really did feel like I peed my pants.
After the scan I got sent back to the emerg waiting room and after waiting awhile the doctor came out very excited and said it's not blood clots, it's pneumonia.
It is so strange when everyone is excited you have pneumonia. Blood clots are scary but I am finding pneumonia very scary. I have never been prone to lung infections. I have never experienced shortness of breath before and damn it is a scary thing not knowing if you will be able to breathe well enough to get oxygen. And if you breathe too deeply you cough so hard you think you are going to cough up a lung. But apparently yay pneumonia because it is treatable. I have drugs I have to take for 7 days and it should clear up the pneumonia and then I will be back to just a broken ankle.