More Hair Adventures

So...we have an event tonight...i decided it would be a good time to do a nice fun but fancy side fish tail braid.  But i wanted it to be messy and i wanted my hair to have more volume so i head band curled it.  I have been having trouble getting the headband curls to work the past year and had moved on to hot rollers but my hair must be trying to make up for the blue hair disaster and it curled REALLY well.

So i got all the volume i wanted and i know it will messy fish tail braid well but i don't have the braiding skill. It was just a little too messy and i couldn't get it to work perfectly.  So now i have a side pony with curls. But i am going to see if i can get someone to fishtail here at work.

I am actually pretty excited about my outfit for tonight.  I am wearing my leather leggings but unfortunately i am having some baggy knee issues with them.  But i think it will be cool.  Leather leggings, a flowy top and a blazer, with some ankle boots and a few other cool things.

Although, i bought a bowtie necklace yesterday at ardenes and i forgot to bring it.  How annoying.  I was going to walk around all night telling people bowties are cool.  And then see if they passed the doctor who test.

Then....TWO WHOLE DAYS OFF.  I can't wait.  Tomorrow nerd marathon with Jordan, Friday Adventure with Andrea, Braydon, and Ally.  Then Saturday, i have a date with a psychic.  Which is going to be AWESOME!

The Great Hair Battle of 2014

I still want black hair with blue highlights.  I have wanted it for months...and try one was unsuccessful (as i have blogged in the past - very unimpressive hair dresser).  Try two was okay...well i should probably call it try 1B because i just had kelly manic panic the left over blond streaks purple which i really liked but it washed out like crazy fast and then i had a bunch of grey highlights.  So we decided to try again this weekend.  I bought bleach and blue permanent dye.  The plan was to bleach the underneath then dye the whole head blue because the blue dye would just darken the top but actually dye the underneath blue.  Well...me and kelly did everything to specifications, followed all the instructions, bleached the underneath then dyed everything blue.  And thanks to my stupid stubborn hair, the blue dye didn't take in very random places...so now i have blue, brownish blue and some rusty blonde all in my hair.  It doesn't even make sense where it took and didn't take.  I have like strands that are rainbow striped, blue blonde blue.  

So it is now clear that it is my hair that doesn't want to participate in my hair vision.  Well my hair may be stubborn, but i can be way more stubborn.  I am going to win this hair battle.  I am going to wait a couple of weeks, then go to an actual hair supply place and buy industrial strength blue and win.

Or i will get completely distracted by something else...or i will give up - well that is what would normally happen...i would move on and focus on something else new.  There are a lot of let downs in my life right now.  But i have it in my head everything will be more tolerable with fun hair.  I use to have such fun hair...then i grew up and became responsible....so i had to give up the fun hair.  Well responsible got me nowhere.  Dead end job and no hope of home ownership.  So screw that...let's go back to when i had fun.  Step one fun hair...and i don't appreciate my hair not taking all the blue dye and ruining the crazy plan i thought up like last week.  

I really just need one thing...ONE THING...to go the way i want it to go.  It's not much to ask is it?  

Mug Epidemic

So, you know how i have 5 mugs on my desk.  I just made it 6...WHAT.  Okay, so i have been feeling low about the whole administrative glass ceiling...and my dad actually told me that i should look at the positive.  I had an excellent interview and i made the short list....that is great and i should be very proud of that.  And then he told me i should buy myself something as a present.  No one ever tells me to buy myself a present because i spoil myself all the time.
But i needed to go to david's tea yesterday to stock up on my ginseng oolong (my favourite tea of all time) and there was a mug, a travel mug that was a mason jar with a handle and a tea basket.  HOW COULD I NOT BUY IT....it was so hipster, it cried out to me...buy me buy me and be ironically cool to the cool kids and actually cool to yourself.

Seriously, look how cool that is.  I needed it so much.  But then i couldn't decide, is a home mug or a work mug.  I decided, i love it so much it is a keep in my purse mug...that way i can drink from it at work and home.  Which means until i am not obsessed with this mug, all other mugs have just become secondary.

So, now we just have to address the current worry i have.  I have to go to this work thing next week.  I need an outfit that is business appropriate but then seems fun and cool enough for the after party.  So, i have to go shopping.  Normally i would love that, but i am feeling a little down on myself with all this eating and exercise i have been doing and not really getting anywhere in the getting in shape thing.  I know that everything i try on...i am going to look horrible.  Too bad sweatpants aren't fancy enough for the outside world.  Because i really rock a sweatpant right now.

Is trying for suckers?

So....i know i promised to be less negative in 2014....but as this is my feelings blog...and i am full of feelings right now, i need to write them out.

I feel like i have been running into walls in my career (if you could call it that).  I am stuck in a maze and every time i think i find a new way up, it is in reality just another administrative position.  I feel like i am constantly told that i have great potential and i am a valuable employee but i am never good enough for that management position.  I have a great attitude but not enough experience, it's great that i am willing to learn but we can't teach.

I am feeling a bit down today.  I tried for a job at work, and i knew it was a long shot but i needed them to notice me.  Well they noticed me and they think i am amazing and awesome and all these other wonderful things but i don't have enough experience for the position.  Which i knew...it wasn't a surprise that i didn't get the job but somewhere deep down, i had convinced myself that they would see my awesomeness and work with me to find a position that fits my unique skills.  Unfortunately, i have been told they can't help me get the experience i need because the union i am in won't let them.  They want me to be patient and that something will come up...but isn't it all a catch 22, i can't get the experience because they won't give me the opportunity and without the experience, i can't get the job.  So is my only option to leave?  And then again, leaving...i still don't have the experience...what jobs am i qualified for...administration...all i am qualified for is administration.  I feel like I am going to be someones lackey for the rest of my life.

Anyways....i made it through the day yesterday...no crying, well until the end of the day, and then i just hid in the washroom until i was calm again.  And today...i dressed with real purpose.  I put on my armor.  I wore my most emo outfit...leather leggings and a red sweater with stars ( i know the sweater is a little too cheerful to be emo, but i like colour....damn it, i should have worn my skull sweater...how did i miss that? I must be off my game...sorry sidetracked).  Anyways, i even put make up on because i don't want anyone to know how much the job thing affected me.  Unfortunately, all my emotions are so close to the surface, everyone can already see how much i am affected. But the makeup was a strategic decision so that if i am tempted to cry...i won't because i don't want to look like a raccoon.  And that should hold me off...and if that doesn't work...well i can always hide in the bathroom.

I have vacation coming up.  I just have to make it until then.  Then i get some freedom from work and i can try to rebuild my calm centre.  Because right now....i want to slap a bitch anytime anyone talks to me which isn't the best way to work....and it isn't their fault...i am just...well....not happy.  This was suppose to be a temporary job until i found one that would challenge me more and i have now had it for 2 years...it is time to move on or i am going to end up getting sucked into being a lifer.  And i feel like i am too young to give up on life.

ONE DAY MORE

What did i do on the weekend?

So glad you asked....well me and Andrea had tickets to see Les Miserables on stage right now and the Princes of Whales.  It was AWESOME!!!!!!  So, when me and andrea were children, we had to clean the kitchen every night, it was one of our chores. Andrea being the oldest was in charge of the music and we would listen to musicals and she would assign us parts and we would sing along to the sound track while cleaning.  Les Mis was a personal favourite and for some reason, both me and andrea don't know why but she gave me the main character...Jean Valjean.  Which is unusual because she was in charge of me so she could have taken the lead role no questions.  Oh well.

I also purchased myself a One Day More tote as a souvenir.

Then I went with to hipster brunch with Jana, Ilda and Kelly....where i had to get up early on a sunday (10am) to be there by 11, to stand outside and wait for a table.  I mean the food was good, but was it worth the early morning and standing in the cold? I don't know.

You know what was worth it....after brunch we went to Modern Donut for gourmet donuts and they were AMAZING.  You know how i feel about donuts....if you don't...well let me fill you in - I LOVE THEM!

It was a busy weekend but it started off tough.

I ran on friday night....i am so out of shape...i feel like it is insurmountable to get back to where i was.  After the run, i was so sore and tired, my ankle hurt, i had trouble breathing, i couldn't stop coughing.  It was rough.  I was embarrassed about how bad of shape i was in.  I guess this means, i have to brave the resolutioners at the gym so i can get put some time in on the treadmill.  I have 3 races coming up in my close future, plus if i have any hope of hell at running a half marathon...i need to get serious.  Unfortunately i am the only one in my family that doesn't have the I love exercise switch....i have even lost Andrea to the dark side of excitment at exercise.....the only exercise i get excited about is yoga because it always ends with a nap. and boxing because i get to hit things.

Have a moment of silence for me people because the fun loving lazy junkfood loving nerd you know is going to have some tough times ahead.  Stupid Exercise and healthy eating.

New form of Punishment?

So my apartment is right behind a school with a huge football field.  I mean it is a super fancy field that they recently like re-turfed.  And every winter they put up this mini dome on part of the field so they can keep playing on the field.  But yesterday, i noticed these kids shoveling off the snow covered part of the turf.  Why? i am not sure, it wasn't even really in any sort of pattern or plan.  So i messaged my friend laura and was like what do you think this is about?  And you know what.  She is so smart, she decided it was some new form of detention.  I like it, it doesn't make any sense and it is manual labour.  I watched them shovel for awhile.  Is it wrong that i enjoyed the weirdness of them shoveling a turf covered field?  It probably is, it probably means that i am a mean spirited person.  But you know what....i am okay with that.  Teenagers drive me crazy...i am like a grumpy old man who blames everything on 'those darn kids'  but at the same time...i love me some teen shows and drama and accessories.  I do not make any sense as a person.  But I always say, embrace your weird.  So i am a weird old person that hates teenagers but loves ABC Spark and all the teen dramas on that channel.

Not the best update today but i am not feeling it today.

Things are coming up ME

Well sort of.  So i ordered some things online awhile ago....i am sure i mentioned it in an earlier post.  Well one of the items i ordered was a new purse (my old purse was falling apart).  I found this purse online at my favourite store, urban outfitters (i love the online store WAY more than the actual store).  See online they have all these exclusives and their sale section is organized so much better and you can find awesome deals. So, i ordered a purse, but something went all weird about it and it didn't charge me and shipping or taxes or duty.  I figured i would pay it on the delivery side.  But guess what was left at my door last night....MY PURSE.  It is great!
I know what you are thinking...why did you need to buy a purse when you are knitting yourself one right now.  Well i didn't know i was going to be knitting myself one when i ordered it.  but you know that old saying, two purses are better than one.....okay, that's not an old saying...but it should be.

I have also launched a big investigation into the availability of ground chicken to me.  I shop at a big fancy loblaws....you think there would be lots of ground chicken available....but dude, there never is any.  So any time i got a craving for ground chicken tacos or pasta with meat sauce....i can't do it because i can never find ground chicken.  Why don't i just use ground beef....well i do not like ground beef.  So i always end up going to multiple grocery stores to find ground chicken....I can never find it when i want it.  I think it is a ground beef conspiracy to get me to eat more ground beef.  And maybe i should for protien and iron and stuff....but i refuse to be forced.  The less ground chicken is available...the more i want it.

I also tried to do an exercise video last night for a butt kick but i didn't return the disk back into the case last time i used it.  So before i can do the 30 day shred...i need to find out what case i put it into.  That will be a journey on its own because i have a lot of DVD's and i am not great at putting anything back into its original case.  I really should work on that but i probably won't.  Let's be honest....it is not one of my bigger problems, so it won't get that much attention, and it really only inconveniences myself.

Space

So, i love my phone, it is great.  But over the past few months we have been fighting a lot.  First the battery problem, and then it started overheating all of the time.  And now, i have learned i am almost out of space.  Which means i have used up all the extra space i had gotten from the 16gb chip i put in.  And i still don't have all my music on it.  I don't want to break up because we have only been together over a year.  But I wanted to put some new music on my phone and had to take off a bunch of other stuff.  I got rid of a lot of pictures, then moved onto older music that i could delete.  I am sad at the choices i had to make...although for some reason, i had some music on twice, which i don't know how i did that.  Oh well.

In weekend news, i spent the weekend knitting, and marathoning this show 'the legend of Korra'. it was very good.  Thus confirming my nerdy nerd is fully established.  I also adventured into unknown knitting territory because the pattern is kind of vague in its instructions, so i am doing what i think makes sense but i still feel like i am making a lot of it up.  I also went to see American Hustle, not as great as i expected.  It was still very good, but i thought it was going to be funnier.  JLAW was amazing and it made the movie.

I also watched that new werewolf show on space, Bitten, i don't know if it is for me.  I normally love that kind of stuff but it felt very twilighty and there was a lot of long meaningful looks and things implied without saying anything.  I like a little humour with my supernatural and i feel like bitten is taking itself way too seriously.  But i am going to probably continue to watch it because....i will keep expecting it to maybe get better.

In Cousin news, me and Alex are totally planning a fun cousin adventure of me going to kingston, us wearing matching pj's and marathoning tv while we craft and hang out.  I am so excited that i cannot wait.  We still have to find the right weekend for it but i am thinking Feb for the visit.  I just need to find a thursday friday i can take off, find inexpensive via tickets, confirm someone can watch remy, and find us the matching pjs.
I think that may be my favourite part....we are going to have matching pj's for me, alex, bailey, and matt.  it is going to be awesome.  I was thinking onesies but i have to find a place that makes matching ones for male female and baby.  Online research....HERE I COME!

How Quickly the Mighty Fall

So all week i have been bragging like nobody's business about how awesome i have become at knitting and how i have taken on the challenge of cables and rocked it.  On and On i would go and brag....anyone who walked past my desk asking me politely how i am doing got an expected bonus of a braggy knitting story.

But last night...Tragedy struck....i was halfway through the cable row and it was i lost all my confidence at once.  I was immediately convinced that i had done something wrong...the whole row was wrong...and the cable row is the one row you can't screw up because it is the focal point of the pattern so if there is a mistake.....it is obvious.
I am not great at taking out stitches...and i had come way too far to take out the whole thing.....so i freaked out for a minute or 10....remy was like bitch calm down...and i was like....fine let's do this.  And i started unkitting the row...then halfway through the unknit, i realized that i was knitted correctly and i was undoing it for nothing.  Colour me embarrassed.  And went back to reknitting the row.  When it was over...this incident had taken like 45 minutes of my life.  And remy sat there judging me the whole time.

So....i have to stop being so overconfident and braggy about my knitting because one wrong knit and the whole jenga tower falls to the ground and i am left kneeling on the floor screaming up at the ceiling "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....what have i done...What      HAVE      I      DOOOONE?"


In other news....i keep talking about getting new winter socks....but i haven't...why not?  because i am too lazy to go to the mall.  Has online shopping spoiled me?  Or have i become shopped out?  Both things scare me to my core.....i better not have lost my one important skill, shopping.  The economy could collapse without my important contributions.  But i am trying to save a lot of money so i can purchase a Tin Home.  That is my main goal for 2014.....finding a home perfect for Tin.  But, two things need to happen before i can acheive this: 1. i have to get i high paying job so i can afford the monthly payments without reverting to a life on ramman noodles. and 2. i have to find a place that meets all my crazy restrictions, on the good side of the subway, within walking distance of both a subway stop and a grocery store, and being near good shopping and craft stores would be a plus. on a floor that is high enough up that robbers can't break in through the windows.  I would also love it to be lofty in design.  If miracles happen and i find the home..i am going to get, a papasan chair...god i want one so bad and a kitchen aid stand mixer in a fun colour (colour to be determined).
Then my life would be complete...until i realized that i now have all sorts of home owner responsibilities....then i would fall to the ground and yell "what have i done......What    HAVE   I    DONE?"

I am slowly going crazy

Last night, lying in bed, my hand started cramping and i was suffering from heartburn.  I immediately worried that i had arthritis and an ulcer.

Why?  When did i become neurotic about illnesses?

I once worked for 3 months full time at a card store while i had mono.  The only reason i found out i had mono was because i got a really bad throat infection near the end and the doctor was like "how are you still functioning".  I was weirdly proud of the fact that i survived mono without it really interrupting my daily life. Maybe i just spend way too much time sleeping regularly that i didn't notice the mono?  But no matter what..i feel like that is something i should weirdly brag about.

But now, i am immediately worried i am dying at the smallest pain or twinge.

I think my current neurotic-ness comes from spending zero time being sick or being in a hospital to the good old broken ankle/pneumonia thing.  I know i can't stop talking about that damn broken ankle or the pneumonia but it was a big deal to me.  Before that, i had never been in a hospital or been seriously ill.  Now all of a sudden, i am in emerg like 4 times, i am having all theses tests run, i have to get weekly xrays. Seriously scary thing.  So now anytime i cough it's pneumonia, any time i have heartburn it's an ulcer, and anytime i have aches and pains it's early onset arthritis.

So that's what's on my mind today.

Other achievements of the day....i have 5 mugs on my desk right now plus a water bottle, a travel tea press, a tumbler, and a giant promotional Thor movie cup.  It is like beverage town at my desk.  So i decided to challenge myself to drink a different tea/beverage other than water out of all my mugs in one day.  Don't Judge, i have very little to entertain myself at work...and this is what i came up with.  Yesterday...i only made it to 4 and a half.  TODAY....i approached it more strategically, despite a rookie move of having a second cup of tea in the same mug....i did it.  I am very proud...i don't even really get bragging rights because who really wants to brag about something that weird...but woot...i am a champion!

I was thinking of upping the challenge and expanding to all beverage holders on my desk...not just mugs. That would be 9 different beverages in one day...and i think the Thor mug would kill me because it is so big...also, how much work could i actually get done if i was peeing all day due to the amount of liquid i am drinking.  It is worth considering.

And if the neurotic-ness didn't convince you i was crazy....that weird drink challenge really sealed the deal for you.

Grocery Store Adventures

So yesterday i went to the grocery store, it was crazy town.  So CRAZY TOWN.  And i was stuck behind the worst person ever.  She had a grocery cart for like 4 items, all produce, and she was standing way back in the line, too busy texting to move forward, and then when she finally did move forward, she did not put her stuff on the conveyor belt, and when she finally did, she took up way too much of the conveyor belt.  and when there was finally space for my stuff she didn't even put a divider thingy behind her stuff, and i had to reach past her to put get it.  She was super inconsiderate.  I don't understand how people can live so FAR up their own ass.

What else is new....well i noticed today that i have 5 mugs on my desk at work.  and i decided that i should drink from every single mug today, so i have had a lot of tea....A LOT.

I had other thoughts that i wanted to write down....but all my thoughts disappeared out of my head....too much tea and i can't focus at all.

I finally found these running face masky things to wear while running outside.  they are getting delivered soon. I can't wait to try them out....i also found these nail stickers that are AMAZING.  And....now....no more online purchasing....i promise.

Back to Basics

I had a nice and quiet weekend.  It was amazing after the craziness that is the christmas holidays.  I marathoned Orphan Black and LOVED IT.  I finished my first knitted square for the log cabin blanket...my first ever knitted blanket.  That's right...things are going swimmingly with it...well sort of...considering i only have one square done.  Then i moved onto this purse i am making.  My first ever knitted purse, that includes cabling, or as andrea calls it fake cabling.  But i have only screwed it up a little, and i could take it back but my problem, is that i am so amateur at knitting that i can't just take it back a little, it is all or nothing...either i keep going forward or start again from scratch.  I am getting the hang of the whole pattern, there is just a lot of counting, so i can't get distracted mid-row or i am lost.  So as long as i pay attention....it should go okay. Then all i need to do is after it is knitted, felt it, and then sew it together...then add the purse straps and stuff....and volia purse.  It should look something like this:

But will probably look similar but not really perfect.  I love this bag so much, that no matter what my result looks like, i am positive i will love it.

2014

So as you all know....because i have ranted about it before....I don't get new years.  In fact i am HATE it because i feel like it is arbitrary, all we are doing is celebrating a date change...and the date changes every day.  I also had a really bad experience that has left me with a sour new years experience.  When all your high school friends gang up on you and single you out on new years you tend to link it with horrible time.  In fact...it is that incident that has led to a lot of my mistrust issues and the reason why i don't really drink. But that isn't a tangent i want to go down.

So...2013 was a sucky year for a lot of people.  and it is great to move past it.

I don't like the new years resolution thing but i have a few goals i want to achieve this year.  Running another half marathon.  It was one of my proudest moments of 2012...that i ran a half marathon and survived.  Now i want to run a half marathon and flourish.  I want to be happy this year.  i don't want to get swallowed up by the negative.  I spent six months being mad at the world....i don't want to be mad at the world this year.  So i am going to focus on goals.  The running, knitting a whole blanket, knitting a purse, basically crafting as much as possible.  Maybe reading some smart books instead of romance novels (i love a good trashy novel).

The most important thing for 2014 for me is HOPE.

I hope this year will be better

I hope i will find a job that challenges me more

I hope i will be able to buy a condo and build a home

I hope i will meet someone that understands me, who i can start a life with

I hope my family will have the best year and overcome their troubles from 2013

I hope i will embrace my creative nature and finally start that business i have always wanted

And finally,

I hope i won't let fear control my life anymore.

So i don't have resolutions, i have hopes.