One Hour

One hour until freedom!

One hour until i get two days of non-work

One hour.  I can survive that.

It has been a very long and rough week.  I am going to spend my weekend renewing my zen.  I will do some knitting, catch up on some tv shows, and some family visits.

I went to best buy today....i was disappointed that their headphones weren't plugged into anything.  How can i tell how awesome the headphones are if they don't have anything attached.  But i did check out tablets with Jordan and they are pretty cool.  but on the way out, i saw a 39inch flatscreen tv and it was less than the coolest Tablet.  So, if i had to choose i think i would choose a tv.

Oh man....i just found a video of a bulldog refusing to go outside for a walk because it is too cold, so they put him on a treadmill.  that totally just sold me on bulldogs.

New Craft Project

So....i found this amazing scarf i want to make...but i have to finish making my log cabin blanket first.  Also i had a great etsy idea but i have to do a bit of research first.  But i am going to try to get an etsy store up an running by 2015.  I have to first create a business plan, and then build up a bunch of stock before i can start selling things online.

Anyways...here is the scarf i love:

Taco Fight

So as you know....Tacos or as i like to call them Lazy Man Nachos.  I love them so much....but lately, i feel fine eating them but then i feel yucky the rest of the night.  WHY TACOS...why you no love me any more?

In other new, my family has been having a lot of Twitter contest wins.  I am pretty jealous because i never win anything but i also never actually enter any contests either...so that is probably why i don't win. But not any more.  I am going to enter every contest i can until i win something.  Of course i will only enter contests with awesome prizes.  But i will know i have achieved at life when i win something in a contest.

So....first contest.  This AMAZING nail polish give away: http://www.swatchandlearn.com/opi-brazil-collection-giveaway

It is for the entire new OPI collection.  and i know what you are thinking...Do you really need more nail polish...YES the answer is always Yes!  Doing my nails makes me happy and helps me have a creative outlet while watching tv and numbing my brain from the work day....so i really hope i win this contest.

I will look for other fun contests to enter and keep you posted on all of them.  I encourage you to enter as well, if you win anything...i will expect a contest finders fee...like a part of the prize.

And finally, what is on my mind today....well Subscription boxes.  Never heard of them....well you subscribe to a service and they send you stuff once a month.  I had been doing research on beauty subscriptions because you know i love to spend money on useless beauty products that i will probably forget to put on in the morning because i have over slept.  (side note...you should see my hair today.....it is really messy, i attempted a braid and i was so preoccupied at getting the braid right, i forgot all about my bangs and they are sticking up all over the place.)  Anyways.....so i was debating trying out a beauty subscription when i learned they have nerd subsciption boxes...where you get a tshirt, a comic book, and random figurines and stuff each month.  Well...that also sounds up my ally.  Now i have to research more stuff.  My research technique is just google.  Google answers all my problems.

I will keep you posted on all i find out.  

I also plan to not let tacos reject me.  I will be victorious.......based on my past experiences.....i will fail. Stupid hair setting a bad precedence of making decisions for me.  Actually i bet it all goes back to the broken ankle.  You allow one injury to get past you and every part of the body has to get in on the rebellion bandwagon.   i am talking about you pneumonia....and hair....and now stomach.  

Well i say NO MORE!

Everything is Awesome

Went to the Lego Movie with Andrea, Wylie, Dad, and the kids yesterday.  I really really enjoyed the movie.  And now i can't singing Everything is Awesome.....it just goes round and round in my head.

In other news....i got to see my baby sophie on sunday.  SHE IS ADORABLE....seriously, i love the cubb! i just want to hug her....although i hugged her yesterday and she returned a lot of milk....all over me.

Man....something strange is going on.  I tried hitting the gym at lunch today instead of after work and now i am all cheer-y and happy.  Which doesn't happen a lot at work any more.  I ran 2 miles in 25 minutes.  I know that isn't fast....but i ran it straight, no breaks at all and i increased the speed at 10 minutes, then 20 minutes.  I may finally be starting to get my cardio back.  Or...maybe it was the wonderful music i was listening too that kept me on track - Aqua.
I am going to try to start at a faster speed tomorrow.  Although they are offering yoga at lunch on tuesdays, $10 a class.  I signed up.  So tuesday is my yoga day, and if i am still feeling perky i will hit the gym after work for another half and hour on the treadmill. Then on Wednesday i may try to do a full hour of running....what i need to do is figure out how far 5km is in miles and then see how i handle running 5km since we have the 5km race at the end of march.  I need to get my butt in gear, i have three races in march and april and may.  and two of them are 10km.

Now i am sure you find my exercise talk boring...i know i find it boring to write, which is why this post too me all day to finish.

In other news, the education of my nephew...it is going awesome.  We haven't even covered the Xmen yet because...we are still working on just developing the interest in comics.....so i asked him in passing what his favourite X Men was and he said 'the guy that lights the cards on fire'  WHAT!!!! so exciting...that is my favourite, in fact, remy is named after gambit.  Then my second favourite is Wolverine, and that is his second favourite too.  Exciting and i didn't even have to coach him on that.  And his go to dance....the robot dance. He is officially a Junior version on ME!  Training completed!

Now that i have my nerd part covered...it is time to focus on ally and her love of rainbows and nail polish. Thus ensuring my legacy.

Memories of a dream

So, sometimes i remember my dreams.  But it is so weird because i can remember them vividly but i am horrible at using words to describe them.  Me and English...not so much.

Last night's dream...for some reason, i was at a party, at my childhood home, but we were partying on the front lawn (which is super weird as you know because with the pool in the back yard, that is always where the party is).

Side note, i have been feeling kind of vulnerable and insecure about myself lately...you know i am my worst enemy.  I don't really need to tell you guys this but it goes with the dream themes.

So i don't remember much from the dream but here is what i can tell you, there was a guy, i liked him and he thought i was nice but that is about all and i remember chasing him around the party.  Which is on par with my current life.  I am QUEEN of the friend zone.  Although, i haven't been interested in a guy in a really long time.  So i am usually cool with the friend zone, it is kind of my wheel house.  But i guess it gets to me sometime, especially since 90% of my friends are in committed long term relationships.

The dream brought up a lot of insecurities....none of the guys i have ever liked have ever chosen me.  I have been cheated on and dumped...and then i see these guys that dump me or cheat on me...move into relationships that last like forever immediately after me.  It would be easy to pass it off if they were just general dirt bags.  And i still think they are dirt bags and i would happily kick them in the balls next time i see them but why do they get to make it work and why can't i.  I keep waiting....waiting for someone who will spark something.  It has been so long...that i worry sometimes i am going to be that crazy cat lady.

I know i am not the most open person when it comes to relationships but the longer i am single the more certain i am that there isn't that person out there for me.  And you know what, i could do the easy thing, go online and find a decent guy and settle but i don't want to settle....i want to feel that spark and i want to find that guy that just does it for me.  Who knows and understands me completely and won't let me run away because you know i will.

So i guess my options are suck it up and be comfortable single or go out there find some guy and settle for almost.

It has been a rough day and i am feeling kind of jangled and crummy so i am going to go to the gym and run on a treadmill until my lungs or legs give out...then go home and climb into bed and knit until i fall asleep.

Gym Time Check

I ran on the treadmill last night for 30 minutes straight without walking.  It was a slower speed that i normally run at but i am working at building up my endurance again....so i am going to run at a faster pace each time. I survived my run and then i got some food that was healthy.

I am happy that things seem like a good start.  I brought my lunch today and i had my smoothie this morning. After work, i am going to yoga it out.  Although decisions to be made - do i go to a class or do i just do yoga on my own at home...both have drawbacks, at home, remy loves to participate which is quite distracting and going to a class means i have to go up to yonge and eglinton which is on the bad side of the subway and pay for a class.  We will see how i am feeling but no matter what...i need to stretch it out.  My damn stupid calf's are starting to cramp up again and be all tight.

So let me tell you a little more about my food thing.  I first of all brought a salad with chicken...WHAT..that's right, i made my own lunch.  Well i don't know if you could call buying a grocery store chicken and a bag salad and putting some of each in a container with some pecans and cheese.  but that is my cooking ability.  I also made myself what i have learned is an alex special....banana and peanut butter wrapped in a whole wheat wrap.  I am ready for regular meals.

So that is all.....boring post today.

Oh except...did you see the Gaurdians of the Galaxy trailer....i LOVE IT and cannot wait for the movie.  It is going to be awesome sauce and i am going to see it like 4 times at least.  and it comes out in august which is right near my birthday which means...Happy birthday to ME!!!!

Back from Vacation

And i am back from a relaxing trip to Kingston, Ontario...where the snowbanks are taller than the people.  It was an awesome trip.

First off, Alex and Matt just treat me like one of the family, i don't have to be on my best behavior and they don't have to wait on me.  So it is just like i am hanging out at home but with Alex and Matt.  Bailey is adorable....and i am pleased to announce she loves my singing.  Yup that is right, she loves my off key horrible singing.  Or she enjoys laughing at my horrible singing.  Either way...it made me feel like a rock star.

Although on friday i had a terrifying experience.  So we had taken grandma out to lunch and then after dropping her off at home, we were going to continue to shop downtown.  But there wasn't enough room for everyone in the car (we were dropping off my aunt as well that we bumped into at the restaurant)...so i volunteered to stay downtown and shop until Alex got back.  Which is a perfect fit for me because i am an excellent shopper.  But Alex decided to leave Bailey with me, which i am completely cool with, but i am not well versed in baby stuff, so i hit a small snag as she drove away.  The wheels to the stroller were locked and there wasn't an easily visible break release spot.  From what i could remember from Andrea's stroller, there was some sort of peddle you kicked up by the back wheels and then it goes.  Not on Bailey's stroller.  So there i am on a street corner of downtown kingston with a locked stroller....looking like quite the fool because i don't know what i am doing.  So i pretended i was texting (so people on the street wouldn't judge me for having a baby and not knowing how to work a stroller) and googled the stroller.  Luckily Bailey slept through this part...because it took me like ten minutes of googling to find that there is a hand break by the handle that releases the wheel lock.  Phew...that wasn't at all terrifying.  Then...while me and Bailey shopped for nail polish, she decided she hated shoppers and all my nail polish selections.  So i had to abandon ship and as soon as i started walking again, Bailey calmed down.  Thus started the shopping trip that just involved no shopping and only walking.  But it was okay because it was a bonding moment for me and Bailey.  She now likes me best...or more accurately...tolerates me best.

I don't have much else to report because it was a nice low key trip...and let me tell you, those are my favourite types of trips....nice and low key and relaxing.  I am actually concerned that the relaxation will just disappear the moment something goes wrong at work.  But i am hoping i can hold onto it for a little while longer.

Thoughts from my brain

So....i have spent the last two days using mountains of leave in conditioner to make my hair less fried...because dude...it was seriously fried.  It was like instead of either of us winning, it was mutually assured destruction.  I didn't get what i want and it didn't get what it wanted.  So i am moving on from blue hair.

Also, i went to the gym yesterday and got my ass majorly kicked.  I went for a kick boxing class but we were early so i ran on the treadmill for 20 minutes first...then did an entire high intensity work out.  I was also terrified that when i sweated, it would be blue.  Although i washed the blue dye out of my hair....every time it gets wet, a little bit of blue dye comes out. Good news...i only sweated blue a very minimal amount, not noticeable by anyone but the towel which started to turn blue.  I am now very sore...and i feel like i am walking like a robot.  Dude...i can't hide from it any more...i got FAT...this whole eating my feelings thing just put me on the wrong path.  Getting back to the right path is almost impossible.  So baby steps...smoothie club and running and attempting to eat regular meals.  My dad thinks i should sign up for a food service, where all your meals come delivered and made.  It seems like a cool idea but probably super expensive.

So last night, i cuddled all into bed and then remy comes and lies on top of me...which is strange because normally he takes up a whole half of the bed because he likes the space, beside me but never cuddling.  So last night when he cuddled on top of me...my brain immediately went to OMG i am dying and he knows it and that is why he is being so cuddly.  Why did my brain go there.....no idea.  Maybe because i am a freak about all that stuff right now.  So much happened all around the same time, that my head always goes to the worse case scenario.  I mean seriously....add a new mental crazy file to my cabinet of crazy.  (i was going for a cool jokey comparison...and i came up with file and cabinet...if i wasn't so lazy i would take it completely out but it's typed.....too late now)

Man i am super lazy about weird things.  If i am making a ceasar salad, i have to make the crutons and bacon bits from scratch...but i find it too much effort to add a spoonful of seeds to guacamole for extra protein.  The extra step just seems like so much extra effort.

Oh....i also told a random stranger yesterday 'no one wants to go all around to crazy town'.  I guess the phrase was so weird that it stopped the person in their tracks to comment on it.  Most people just let me talk a la Erin and ignore all the weird phrasing and grammar and made up words.  I kind of enjoyed being noticed for my spectacular vocabulary.  Now that i have embraced the weirdness that is me....i am super proud of all of it...and get a unusual amount of happiness when people notice.  It is like i am a 3 year old jumping up and down..."look at me.....because i am AWESOME"

On that note....headed to kingston today for an extended visit with ALEX!!! and i don't know if i will get any blogging time in.  I will have to catch up all up on things on monday.

It's a draw i guess

So...in my quest for blue hair.  I tried again yesterday to turn it blue.  So....it is blue, much bluer than before...which i love, but it still didn't take in certain places...and i my have fried it in my stubbornness to win.

As i said before, my hair isn't in charge, i am...and that means if i want blue hair, i should get blue hair.  So i went to the store yesterday, bought more blue hair dye (twice as much as i needed) and i saturated my hair. i mean there was so much hair dye in my hair i could make it stand straight up.  And then i left it on my hair for like 50 minutes.  (recommended time may be 40 but...i figured my hair needed some extra time)

So.....outcome.

My hair may be a little fried But it is blue....so i don't know if it is exactly a win but i wouldn't call it a loss.  I am going to put a bunch of leave in conditioner in tonight and try not to wash it for a few days in hopes of returning it to its natural greasy state.  Although if my hair stops being so stubborn, i am going to cut it off. Seriously, is it too much to ask for fun blue hair?

I think maybe i should admit defeat, and when this blue dye starts washing out, i dye it all black and call it a day.  Although maybe i should let someone else do it for me...because seriously i am a disaster.  My fingers are completely blue, my bathroom is blue, my towels are blue...EVERYTHING IS BLUE...except my hair.

TTC Rant

So.....There are few things that absolutely drive me crazy.....okay...there are a lot of things that drive me crazy...but when it comes to the ttc, it is having my personal space invaded.  Now i know there is almost never any personal space to be had when it comes to rush hour.  But what i mean by personal space invaded...it is if i am standing on a relatively empty platform (ie...space beside me to stand)...don't stop and stand directly in front of me...so i am like trapped against the walk and to move forward..i have to slide sideways.  Seriously...two inches to the left or right and we are cool...but directly in front of me FILLS ME WITH RAGE...it is like i am suddenly pinned in and i am stuck.  Maybe i was a spy in another life but i hate not having a quick exit plan.

So what brought this rage on....well it was a particularly rough commute this morning.  The station i get on at has this wonderful thing where an empty train comes through every 4th train.  And it is THE BEST (yes i am spoiled and i love it).  So no empty trains came through at all, and the trains that did arrive were crazy packed that i wouldn't even consider getting in at all.  So like 8 trains go by and finally one comes in that isn't too crowded.  Everyone pushes on.  So i of course wait for the next train.  But the miracle now is that the platform is pretty empty...then a couple decides to stand like directly in front of me and leaves me zero space.  RUDE.  Then a train comes in, has a few seats...i get on after one of the couple and the dude goes and blocks the one seat so his chickie could sit in the only seat...RUDE X2.  I shot imaginary lasers through his head the entire ride.

Anyways....hopefully you have the best weekend

Snow Day

I wish today was a snow day.  What would i do if i got a snow day...well it wouldn't be that different than if i played hooky or called in "sick".  I would sleep as long as possible then binge on netflix and knitting while drinking tea and most importantly staying in my pajamas all day.

The key to a lazy day...is the staying in pj's.  and if you have to change....change into other comfy clothes...for example, i like to sleep in leggings and a tshirt...so if i decided to change on my lazy day, it is into roots sweat pants and a sweatshirt.  Keep the comfort a priority and you can't loose.

What else is new on this snowy day....well i worked hard today....lots of spreadsheets which makes me a little stir crazy...so to balance, i listened to rihanna all day.  So there was a lot of chair dancing at my desk.  It was also really quiet at work because everyone is busy busy with analysis.

I have also started my boxing again.  It is really just me, practicing my techniques at home, but it is an awesome workout...and i can't wait to start taking classes again.  Although i don't want to look like a newbie so i won't sign up for a course yet...i need more home practice.

I am also in major count down mode to alex visit.  I can't wait we are going to have so much fun.  We will do some adventures and a lot of lazy tv watching.

Man...i don't have a lot to say today....i can't make my thoughts connect into one flowy post...so you get random thought bursts.  That is what happens when you stare at a screen all day.  I should have written this first thing this morning but alas, i was a good little worker today.

Anyways...i am going home to punch the air.

Celebrate Good Times

So, project one of the new year....completed.  I knit it, i did cables, i felted, i attached leather strap and lid thing.  Now it is not perfect because it is basically one giant space....and i need something to hold my little things, like lip balm and ttc pass and keys.  One i can just by little pouches to hold different stuff, or i can make a liner for the whole purse and incorporate pouches in the liner.  I am leaning towards the pouches without the liner because i actually love the green wool and i like lit but i am wondering if it might be better in the long run to line it because it will help to prevent the purse from stretching out.

I do have this beautiful and heavy chinese silk that i wanted to use for something special.

Here are pics of the purse.  The second one is blurry and i am sorry, i will replace it with a better picture when i get home tonight.

So, now onto a new knitting project.  I am working on the log cabin blanket right now.  I am going to try to finish it super quickly because normally when i do blankets, it takes me at least a year to finish it.

Psychic Adventures

Saturday night, i went to Southern Accents....great food and they have psychics there that do readings.  So...of course i had to get a reading.  We all did.

I know that everyone doesn't believe in that kind of thing but i do, i like believing that there are people out there are spiritual enough to be in touch with a greater power in the universe.  Hell i would love to be more one with the universe and i will keep trying....will i ever develop psychicness...who knows, but it would be hella cool if i did.

Here is how my psychic reading went:

Okay first thing i did was sit with the psychic, we both held the tarot cards and after a minute she had three animal messages for me. (based on native totem animals)
1. Armadillo - i am suppose to stop rolling over and hiding from the world.  i need to spend more time in the moment, to rediscover the child like wonder of my life
2. Porcupine - i have to stop pushing people away and armoring myself from the world.
3. Spider - embrace my creative nature.

She then started with an overall view of my year - it is a building year, no big bad moments and no big happy changes.  I will stay with my work for another year, an opportunity will come up within my organization and i will take it but it won't fulfill me the way i want.  She told me i have a gift in healing.  That i am very creative and that i will be most fulfilled and happy if i go out on my own.  I will find my 'true' calling my purpose in life. It will involve healing, creativity and fundraising.  I will take all my passions (although healing i don't know how that fits in) and make it into a positive and successful experience.
She also told me that i could spend my entire life at my current job, they would be happy to keep me and i would be successful but i will never be fulfilled.

We then moved onto love.  The first thing she said was that i am majorly blocked.  I am not at all open to love and the longer i avoid it the more blocked and closed off to love i become.  I need to spend time trying to become open with the world.  But near the end of the year i will met a guy initials J or S and he will open me up and i will fall head over heels.  And then i will freak out because it will be too real.  But he will be someone worthy of my trust and i will learn how to be okay within a relationship.  But he is not the one...he is the one who helps me to be ready.

I found it a very interesting reading.  I am taking away a few important things.  Stop worrying about where i am headed and worrying about what i don't have.  What i do have is great and i need to find the pleasure and happiness in the little things.  There are signs everywhere and i need to learn how to read them and trust my instincts.  I have to stop hiding and running away from things that scare me. Finally...i have to be open to other people and stop being afraid of getting hurt.


So, i know what you are going to say...that is such general stuff, it could apply to anyone.  But, it was what i needed to hear at a time i needed to hear it...so i believe it was worth it.