They are HERE

Me and Kelly decided to go see The F Word last night because....well i am now in love with Daniel Radcliffe because he is a giant goofball that makes fun of himself so well.  Anyways...i have been dying to see this movie so me and Kelly decide to go last night.

HUGE MISTAKE.

So first of all, it wasn't playing in VIP and it didn't have assigned seats.  Do you know what that means?  It means pure chaos.  So, i know that Yonge/Dundas attracts all the tourists which i work hard to ignore because not many of them are actually going to the movies but what me and kelly forgot was the university students have arrived which made the movie theatre pure chaos, frosh everywhere, all being annoying.

It was terrible.

I don't know if i mentioned this but i draw stubborn lines in the sand.  they don't really make sense and i am normally incredibly flexible about things but i hit a line and i will become the most stubborn person ever.

One of my lines is.....late comers to the movies that then wander around asking people to shift over so they can sit with their friend when there are a lot of seats down at the front.  Why should i move from my excellently picked seat just because you came late and don't want to sit in the bitch seat.  Do you know what...then plan ahead better...or suck it up and sit in the bitch seats.  I am not moving so you can ruin my movie experience.  Now the real problem - i avoid all confrontations....i am not good at confrontations. The only time i have been able to stick to my guns on this issue is when i had a broken ankle and i was using a seat for my crutches because there was no where to put them and they asked me to move them so they could sit..and i was like no.  then they classily suggested i put them in the isle, and i was like that is a tripping hazard...so no.  I was really proud of myself that time.  But then again...the broken ankle period of my life was a very bitchy time for me.  Seriously....bitch to the extreme.  I had a lot of rage.

Where was I?  oh yah, so we didn't have to move, we invented a third person that was running late and that is why we were saving the third seat.  And then after the movie we swore to never go to a regular movie again.  We are not meant to interact with the young ones.

Best Ever

So, i am going to take time out of my regularly scheduled whining to talk about the best thing ever.

Guardians of the Galaxy!!!

I have been waiting for this movie for what seems like A MILLION YEARS.  seriously a million years!

So when it came out, right around my birthday might i add (that is a sign) i was so so excited.  I was actually worried that it wouldn't measure up to my crazy high expectations. but it totally did....i loved it all, from the opening scene to the big finish.
I was attached to all the characters, of course i my favourite (star lord....or rocket) but they all interacted so well together....they we a good team.  And i liked that the team wasn't this positive woot woot team but a we are stuck together because we all want something from the other.  I like how they only did it reluctantly!

I don't want to spoil it but if they could custom build a movie for me, this might be it.


In other news, i am in love with Taylor Swift's new song, i have listened to it like 40 times on repeat.  i am hosting my own dance party at my desk.  luckily people already expect me to be weird so they are just ignoring me.

Steps

I am forcing myself out of my shell more.  This new job, i have to go out and meet a lot of people.  I am always traveling around.  The meetings have been great and i am feeling really positive about them.  I am still not positive about a lot of stuff.  And today i have to do a presentation, which is not my strong suit.  I love talking in a one on one setting or with a few people and just connecting and sharing my passion for making the city better and now i get to go to all these agencies and see the work they do.

These are all good things....good for me, to remind me why i am doing what i am doing.  Deep down, i have always wanted my own store...always but until i figure out the details and take that leap of faith.  I am where i am needed, making a difference.  It helps to ground me.

In other news.  I am so glad it is friday!

Fake it?

So.....i have lost some of my enthusiasm and i know that i have been working really hard on "faking it until i make it" and being positive and happy all of the time.  "don't let the negative in"

But....this question hit me last week, what if it never clicks....what if i keep "faking it" and i never get to the "making it" part?

Dad seems to be doing good, i am on track with my new job....i set up an online dating profile (not that i actually use it...but i mean setting it up is a start) But something seems like it is missing.  some unknown piece that will make all the parts fit together.  Or again maybe i am just making all that up because i want an excuse to be a grouchy gus.  Maybe things aren't getting better because secretly i love the drama?

God....it is tiring in my brain.  Questions, and doubts, and fears.  That is what my brain is filled with...oh and expectations of where i should be versus where i am.  I am even tired with myself...i write the same stuff over and over again in this blog but never actually change anything.

So here is my promise to myself.  Instead of complaining and changing nothing.....i am going to take proactive steps.  I think i will take advantage of the counseling services offered through my EAP program at work.  That way i have someone to talk to.  They even offer life coaches.  Maybe i will get a life coach.